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Beech Acres, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents

Monitoring Your Child’s Online Activity

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It is important to monitor your children’s online activity and be prepared to talk to them about things they may see on the internet. Establish Ground Rules According to the National Cyber Security Alliance’s 2017 survey Keeping Up with Generation App: NCSA Parent/Teen Online Safety Survey, “28% of teens report that their household has no rules about their use of devices”. Of those families that do have rules in place over 70% of teens feel that those rules are effective. Be open about your concerns about your child’s online activity and work with them to establish rules. These rules should extend beyond just not using their devices at dinnertime and should include fair consequences for not following them. Make sure your rules are fair, based on your family’s values, and are focused on your child’s well-being. Here are some common ground rules. Make sure to work together to establish rules that reflect your own family’s values: Create specific times for screen time use. After school, after homework, and after dinner are good times for kids to unwind. Agree on times to put the phone down. During dinner, before homework is complete, right before bedtime are good times to put the screen down and spend some face to face time as a family. Reserve the right to pick up and review your children’s phones. You want to respect their privacy, but make sure they understand you want to be involved and understand what is happening in their digital life. Review search history. Kids can be quick to understand how to clear their history and cache. Use this as an opportunity to not only teach about online safety but to also build trust. Monitor Their Activity This one may get some pushback from your teens as an invasion of privacy. Be clear about your concerns. Make sure they understand the things you are looking for (inappropriate content, cyberbullying) and why you are concerned. Look for social media and messaging apps and understand how your child is using those apps. Look through their YouTube and browser history with them and discuss any concerns that may arise. Develop Their Strengths Use this as an opportunity to develop your child’s strengths. Social intelligence, honesty, and perspective are important when being an online citizen. Being aware of the motives of others can be difficult to determine over the internet. Make sure your child is nimble with their thinking when engaging people online. Being open and honest about what they are doing online can help open communication with you. Explain that they are likely to encounter things online that they may disagree with or are not in line with their own values. Being able to look at different perspectives can help them be safer. Talk To Them Rules and monitoring can only go so far. Make sure you are listening to your children and talking to them.  They may encounter videos, memes, photos, and other content online that can be disturbing and confusing. Be open about topics that may come up and assure your children you are there for them. Seek Help When Necessary https://staysafeonline.org has some great tips for helping your teens stay safe online. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Parent Coaching to help you deal with various parenting challenges. Your first visit is FREE!

Photo of a group of young children on their phones
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time

Messenger Kids. Is My Kid Ready For Facebook Messenger?

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Late last year, Facebook, Inc. rolled out a new messaging platform aimed at children ages 4-13. Messenger Kids is available for iOS and Android and promises safer video calls and texting for kids. Facebook describes the app as such: “Messenger Kids is a free video calling and messaging app designed for kids to connect with close friends and family from their tablet or smartphone. Kids can only connect with parent-approved contacts, which creates a more controlled environment. Group or one-on-one video calls with loved ones are more fun with interactive masks, reactions, and sound effects.” Unlike other messaging apps, Messenger Kids requires authentication with a parent’s Facebook account giving parents full control over the app. You have control of the app’s contacts so you can decide who you allow your children to message with. Also, messages have permanence meaning they do not disappear after a period of time like Snapchat. Messenger Kids promises ease of use and fun ways for kids to interact through photos, videos, and gifs. The app does not employ ads, nor does it offer in-app purchases. The promise of security and the high level of parental controls may be a good way to ease your child into messaging. However, with any interactions, it is important to talk to your children about the technology, establish clear rules and boundaries and also monitor their online interactions. Even with the high level of controls offered to parents, there is no way to control the actual content being transmitted. Bullying and sharing of inappropriate content are still possible through the app, though Facebook allows kids to block other users and report online bullying. Facebook seems committed to the idea of this app despite recent problems they have had with online privacy. They have recently pushed an update to the app that included a new “sleep mode”. This setting allows parents to set an off time in the app after which their children can no longer interact with their friends and family online. If you’re an active Facebook user and have tech-savvy kids looking for ways to interact with their friends online, Messenger Kids might be a good place to start. Remember to talk to them about online safety, and make sure they feel comfortable telling you about anything inappropriate they may encounter when online. Common Sense Media offers a review of Messenger Kids focusing on items that matter most to parents as well some other tips for talking to your kids about online safety. For more information on Messenger Kids from Facebook visit https://messengerkids.com

Photo of three young girls look menacingly at another young girl with her head down
Beech Acres, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Parenting Tips

My Kid May Be A Cyberbully! What Should I Do?

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You recently discovered some inappropriate, mean, or hurtful comments directed at other children on your child’s phone. What will you say? Cyberbullying, a form of bullying or harassment using digital contacts such as texts, email, or social media, is a growing concern for parents. The influence of technology on our culture has never been greater. Kids are using digital devices at an earlier age and are spending much more time in front of them. The ubiquitous use of digital technologies has made them an easy platform for bullying to thrive. According to Stopbullying.org, 15% of all U.S. high school students were cyberbullied last year. Sadly, that number is dramatically higher, a staggering 55%, among LGBTQ students. Last year we explored ways to address bullying when your child is the victim, but what if your child is the bully? First, take a few moments to collect your thoughts. Make sure you are prepared to intentionally approach the subject. When you are ready to address this issue here are some things to ask if you have discovered inappropriate treatment of other children on one of your child’s devices. Ask your child if she knows what can happen to kids that are cyberbullied. They can get depressed, become anxious, or worse. Ask your child what her intention was. What were they hoping to accomplish? Ask your child what the other child did to prompt their behavior.  Ask your child how else she can manage her feelings towards other children in acceptable ways. Listening to your child and understanding their behavior and their motivations are key to addressing this issue. Working through intention and consequences can lead to better decision making in the future.

Photo of two parents and their child looking down at digital devices
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time, Social Media

Six Tips For Online Bliss

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Here are six quick tips to help you and your children get on the same page about screen time. Establish Some Simple Ground Rules Start by setting up some simple rules for everyone to follow. These can include no phones during meal time, no screens a half hour before bedtime, or no computer time until after homework is complete. These basic rules should reflect your family’s values and correspond with any established routines. Utilize your family’s strength of teamwork by working together to establish these rules. Doing so creates a sense of ownership and accountability in the process Choose Quality Over Quantity Rather than set a specific number of hours your children are allowed to be online, try starting a conversation about what they love and why they love it. Not only will this help you get to know your child better, but it can encourage their strengths of curiosity and love of learning by letting them spend time with something they really enjoy. If your child likes Harry Potter, for example, set them up on Pottermore or find some games related to the books. This way they are engaging with something they enjoy rather than spending mindless time scrolling through Netflix or YouTube.  Find Appropriate Time To Spend Online  Be intentional and mindful in setting aside time for your kids to be online. Sit down together as a family to develop, discuss, and create these rules. Discuss with them your daily schedules and routines and make sure screen time isn’t interfering with homework, family time, or extracurriculars. Remind them that screen time right before bed may interrupt their sleep. Reinforce the importance of completing their homework before jumping into a game of Fortnite. This will help them be more responsible about the time they choose to be online and develop their strength of self-regulation. Understand What Is and Is Not Appropriate Discussions about social media and screen time provide a great opportunity to reinforce your family’s values and to build on their strengths of judgment and social intelligence. While the internet is an awesome repository of all of the world’s collected knowledge and cat pics, it is also home to some pretty dark stuff. Empower your child to have fun and discover, but make sure they are equipped with the knowledge to avoid things like cyberbullying online predators, or malicious software. Utilize tools such as Google Safe Search Kids, a custom search engine that uses Google’s SafeSearch features along with additional filtering to block potentially harmful material. Establishing a relationship built on trust will let your child feel safe coming to you with any concerns that they have about inappropriate things they may see or encounter on the internet. Model Appropriate Screen Time Yourself Kids are observers of their world. Remember that. When you are having a conversation with your child make sure you are present and fully engaged. Put your phone on silent and put in on a table or desk. Being intentional about this will encourage your daughter or son to do the same. Make sure you comply with the ground rules you established. No phones at dinner or before bedtime. If your kids (or you) need a little help in this department check out the app Moment. It helps you track how much time you spend on your iPhone or iPad. You can set limits and even connect to and monitor your entire family’s usage. It can be eye-opening to see just how much time is being spent online. And most importantly, make sure to never text while driving!  Have Some Analogue Fun The internet has had a profound impact on our lives. It has made many things easier, more convenient, and even more fun. It allows us to connect and stay connected to friends, family, and the world around us. But, don’t forget the time before the iPhone, before AOL, or before that first PDA or dial-up connection. Approach some non-digital activities with zest. Read paperback books together. Take a walk, hike, or bike ride. Dust off the old board games and have a family game night. Check out our Parenting Resources page for more fun things to do. Value balance in your life between the internet and IRL. 

Photo of a family at the table for dinner time while they are all on digital devices
Cincinnati Parenting Survey, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time, Social Media

Parenting In The Digital Age

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Parenting in the digital age has added a significant layer of complexity to an already challenging job. With everyone’s heads buried in a screen all day, it can seem impossible to spend meaningful moments together as a family. Together, let’s tackle some of the challenges related specifically to parenting in the digital age. Screen time, social media, and cyberbullying are all important topics that today’s parents are faced with. While many parents fall back on the routines and techniques their parents used, these digital scenarios are new and unique to this generation of parents.  In today’s rapidly changing world it can be difficult to stay current with reliable, effective information on parenting. We may not have all of the answers, but we will try to help you navigate these new modern parenting challenges. Bookmark our blog, connect with us on social media, and sign up for our parenting newsletter for fresh perspectives from our parenting experts based on Natural Strength Parenting™, our unique, strengths-based approach to raising kids.  Check out these posts for more resources on parenting in the digital age. Parenting In The Digital Age Help! My Kid Might Be a Cyberbully! Apple and Google Address Concerns Over Screen Time Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity  Six Tips To Online Bliss But Mom! All Of My Friends Are On Snapchat!

Photo of a little girl using a tv remote as a boy sits beside her
Beech Acres, Parenting Tips, Parents

How To Talk To Your Children About What They See On The News

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Parents, teachers, schools, or other organizations, you can download this information to share with parents in your community.  Bad, scary, or negative news can be traumatic for children of all ages. “Bad” news can be anything; natural disasters, local or global political strife, mass shootings, the fallout from the drug epidemic, or even a fire in your neighborhood. It is important for parents to be prepared to talk with their children about things they may see and hear on the news. Here are some tips to help you get started. First, Take Care of Yourself Process your own feelings related to the event. Then you can model appropriate expressions of sadness, worry, or anger that will normalize those feelings experienced by your child. Children often look to their parents to make sense of how they are feeling. This is a great opportunity to build empathy for others. Next, Be Honest with Them  A truthful approach will help them better understand the facts about what they are hearing. Frequently our children are already hearing about events through social media or what they hear from friends. Listen as they tell you what they already know and try and separate facts from rumors and embellishments. Always Listen to Their Questions and Address Their Concerns Younger children may need reassurance that they are safe, while your older kids may have more in-depth questions to help them understand and process. Be patient. It is completely normal if a child doesn’t have much to say in the beginning. Let your child know that you are there whenever they have questions or want to talk more. It is important to address their concerns as they arise and offer your perspective based on your family’s values. Finally, Offer Them Hope Reassure them that they are safe and talk through their feelings. Develop a plan for your family in case they encounter dangerous situations. Unplug from media for a while and spend some quiet time together as a family. Physical comfort such as a hug can go a long way to a child developing a sense of inner security. You can also research ways your family can help families affected by these tragedies. Look for the stories of the helpers and the heroes in these events to balance to reinforce that there is so much good even in times of tragedy.

Blurry image of children walking down a hallway with backpacks on
Cyberbullying, Human Trafficking, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Sex Trafficking

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day

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Today is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. National Human Trafficking Awareness Day is designated to bring awareness to the plague of Human Trafficking. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, nearly 25,000 runaways were reported in 2017. Of those, an estimated 1 in 7 were possible victims of child sex trafficking. This sobering statistic heightens the importance of being aware of the global problem of human trafficking. Be Aware As a busy parent, the possibility of having to deal with this issue is likely a low priority on your list of daily concerns. While the likelihood of your child becoming a victim is remote, it is important to be aware of the issue and look for signs of human trafficking in your community. The National Human Trafficking Hotline lists a number of “red flags” to look for in your community. These include: Common Work and Living Conditions: Person is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes Person is in the commercial sex industry and has a “manager” They owe a large debt and is unable to pay it off Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior: Person appears fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, nervous or paranoid Person exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement They avoid eye contact Poor Physical Health: Person doesn’t have medical care and/or is denied medical services by employer Person appears malnourished or shows signs of repeated exposure to harmful chemicals They show signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture Often, bizarre security measures inconsistent with the rest of the area exist in the work and/or living locations. Look for opaque or boarded-up windows,  bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.. How to Protect Your Children Tell your child to always be aware of their surroundings, be wary of communicating with strangers, and always have their cell phones with them (and charged!) with family and emergency contacts programmed in. Helping your child develop and maintain a good self-esteem and healthy relationships, you reduce the risk that he or she will be targeted by traffickers. Nationwide Children’s Hospital offers some tips on their website including: Know what your kids are doing online. (check out our recent tips on online safety) Know who your kids are with and where they are hanging out. There are obvious situations, like being on the street late at night, but even places like the mall can be dangerous. Teach your children resiliency. Help your child build a strong self-esteem from an early age. Maintain open communication with your child. Be someone the teens in your life can talk with. Awareness and caution are key to recognizing, reducing, and preventing human and sex trafficking. If you have any questions or concerns about this topic visit the National Human Trafficking Hotline or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children websites.

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Beech Acres, Parenting Tips, Parents, Raising Positive Children, Strengths

Don’t Miss Lea Waters: Raising Strong Children Tomorrow Night at Mayerson Academy!

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Don’t miss the first event in the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series tomorrow night at Mayerson Academy! Mayerson Academy and its partners Beech Acres Parenting Center and Children, Inc. are pleased to bring luminaries in the field of positive psychology to our region to share the best in current, applied science for building positive parenting capacity. Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series begins tomorrow as Dr. Lea Waters presents Raising Strong Children January 11th from 6-8 at Mayerson Academy. Lea Waters Ph.D. is an Australian psychologist, academic, researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in positive education, parenting, and organizations. Lea is the 2017-2019 President of the International Positive Psychology Association and serves on the Council of Happiness and Education for the World Happiness Council. She lives in Melbourne, Australia, with her husband, son, and daughter. Get your tickets now!

White "The Strength Switch" book cover with various colors of playdough in the background
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Book Review: The Strength Switch, By Lea Waters; A Busy Mom’s Perspective

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Guest blogger, Nikki Zellen, Director of Marketing Book Review: The Strength Switch, by Dr. Lea Waters As a busy Mom working at Beech Acres Parenting Center (behind the scenes), I am fortunate that sometimes my ‘homework’ helps me with my own kids! I had the pleasure of reading Ms. Waters’ book in advance of her appearance in Cincinnati for Raising Strong Children, part one of the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series on January 11th at Mayerson Academy. The Strength Switch is laid out in two parts: Laying the Foundation and Building Strengths. In reading the first half, I recognized many of the same academic studies that our social workers casually talk about in the hallways and reference in meetings. However, Ms. Waters breaks them down for parents to understand. The references to the science and studies help the reader develop a belief that this stuff works! Once you start to embrace the opportunity to flip the switch, Ms. Waters provides many activities for different ages to test with your family. My personal favorite was The Praise Puzzle chapter. Ms. Waters provides detailed examples and phrases of how to celebrate your child in a way that builds on their strengths. If your child brings homes a good grade, there are a variety of ways to respond (which I had never really thought about before), which she outlines: Generic Praise: “Good Job!” Process Praise: “You prepared for this test by spending extra time each night reviewing material.   And it worked!” (praising child’s strategy) or “You pulled up your score by a full grade! What do you think you did that helped you improve? (praising child’s improvement) Praise for Character: “Thanks for opening the door! You are a helpful person!” (will internalize moral strengths are within him) Her recommendation: Strength-based Praise, linking a strength with an action. “You’ve used your persistence [strength] to stick to the task of reviewing for this test every night last week [action], even when you were tired and wanted to play computer games.” “…strength-based praise encourages both achievement and good character by connecting kids with the positive forces they unleash through the combined power of their strengths and their actions.” – Lea Waters The book forces parents to stop and think about their word choices and the profound impact they have on our children. Ms. Waters summarizes the book best for us… “Attention on the negative helped us survive. Attention on the positive helps us thrive.”   And we all want our kids to thrive! My one wish, which may be all Moms’ wish, is for more time. The Strength Switch was a little dense to get through, but if you are lucky enough to be near a Beech Acres Parenting Center location… in one hour you will be able to get a taste of Natural Strength Parenting™ with a parenting coach. Our strengths-based approach to parenting is based on many of the same studies mentioned in the book. Set an intention to focus on your parenting this year by reading The Strength Switch and seeing Lea Waters live in Cincinnati on January 11th. Tickets are available here!

Photo of a young girl on a computer looking shocked with her hands over her mouth
Beech Acres, Parenting Tips

Remember, It Is Important To Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity

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Remember, it is important to monitor your children’s online activity and be prepared to talk to them about things they may see on the internet. With the proliferation of digital devices, easy access to the internet, and the popularity of social networks it can be difficult to remain engaged with your child’s online activities, especially for a busy parent. On New Year’s Eve, popular YouTube vlogger Logan Paul posted a video of an apparent suicide while filming with his crew in Japan’s Aokigahara forest. The video titled “We found a dead body in the Japanese Suicide Forest…” was pulled after one day amid a storm of outrage and concern. While the video did contain a disclaimer at the beginning and was not monetized, many found the video to be in poor taste and inappropriate for young potentially impressionable viewers. Paul has since removed the video and apologized. Paul has nearly 20 million followers on his various YouTube channels with over 2 billion views. Many of the 22-year-old’s followers are teenagers. YouTube’s influence on teenagers is vast. According to the National Cyber Security Alliance, 91% of teens between 13 and 17 reports using YouTube regularly and 57% report to having an online account of some type that their parents are not aware of. This means it is critical to be aware of what your kids are doing online. Here are some tips to help you monitor your child’s online activity and how to talk to your kids about things they encounter online. Establish Ground Rules According to the National Cyber Security Alliance’s 2017 survey Keeping Up with Generation App: NCSA Parent/Teen Online Safety Survey, “28% of teens report that their household has no rules about their use of devices”. Of those families that do have rules in place over 70% of teens feel that those rules are effective. Be open about your concerns about your child’s online activity and work with them to establish rules. These rules should extend beyond just not using their devices at dinnertime and should include fair consequences for not following them. Make sure your rules are fair, based on your family’s values, and are focused on your child’s well-being. Monitor Their Activity This one may get some pushback from your teens as an invasion of privacy. Be clear about your concerns. Make sure they understand the things you are looking for (inappropriate content, cyberbullying) and why you are concerned. Look for social media and messaging apps and understand how your child is using those apps. Look through their YouTube and browser history with them and discuss any concerns that may arise. Develop Their Strengths Use this as an opportunity to develop your child’s strengths. Social intelligence, honesty, and perspective are important when being an online citizen. Being aware of the motives of others can be difficult to determine over the internet. Make sure your child is nimble with their thinking when engaging people online. Being open and honest about what they are doing online can help open communication with you. Explain that they are likely to encounter things online that they may disagree with or are not in line with their own values. Being able to look at different perspectives can help them be safer. Talk To Them Rules and monitoring can only go so far. Make sure you are listening to your children and talking to them. Videos like Paul’s or many others they may encounter online can be disturbing and confusing. Be open about topics that may come up and assure your children you are there for them. Seek Help When Necessary https://staysafeonline.org has some great tips for helping your teens stay safe online. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Parent Coaching to help you deal with various parenting challenges. And of course, suicide, as depicted in the Logan Paul video, is a major concern among teens. Help is available If you need to talk to someone, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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