Written by: Sarah Fields, BA with the Parent Connext® Team

Being a parent is hard. It means answering tough questions, sometimes at the most unexpected moments. Maybe you’re driving your child home from school when they see a rainbow flag and ask, “What’s that for?” Or perhaps they overhear someone using a slur and turn to you, searching for an explanation.

These are the moments when parenting feels like navigating a maze blindfolded. There’s no perfect script. No magical words that immediately erase confusion or discomfort. But good news? You don’t need perfection. You just need honesty, patience, and a willingness to grow alongside your child.

Starting the Conversation

Imagine you’re sitting down for dinner, and your child brings up Pride after hearing classmates talk about it. How do you explain something so big and complex in a way that makes sense?

Starting with the Basics:
What is Pride? Pride Month is both a joyful celebration and a serious political reminder that LGBTQIA people are here and deserve the same rights as everyone else. It’s a great experience that people of all ages can and should check out.[1]

Most kids accept this without hesitation. Children tend to see differences with curiosity rather than judgment, a beautiful strength that should be honored. Walt Whitman once said, “Be curious, not judgmental,” and children embody this naturally. Pride is an opportunity to nurture that curiosity with openness and encouragement.

That curiosity might lead to deeper questions, like, “Why does she have two dads instead of a mom and a dad?” This is the perfect time to highlight that families come in many forms, and every one of them is worthy of love and celebration. Books like Everywhere Babies and Love Makes a Family by Sophie Beer showcase diverse families, reinforcing the idea that love is what makes a family, not a particular structure.

Next, explain the difference between hate speech and free speech. These terms are used interchangeably, but they are not. Freedom of expression is a human right and tackling hate speech protects this right. It’s possible to disagree with or criticize an individual or group without threatening their well-being and safety. Hate speech limits freedom of expression as those targeted by hateful language do not feel safe expressing themselves freely. [2]

Your child might frown, confused. “But why would they do that?”

Ah. The ultimate parenting dilemma. Explaining cruelty without passing it down.

Teaching Empathy Over Judgment

Kids tend to see fairness in the world. They believe people should be kind. When they see hatred, their first instinct is to categorize people into “good” and “bad.” But black-and-white thinking rarely leads to understanding.

You can try reframing it like this:
“Some people grew up hearing negative things about LGBTQ+ people, and they never questioned it. Others are afraid of things they don’t understand. And some are just mean because they want to feel powerful.”

Then, turn the conversation back to what they can do:
“But here’s the cool part… you don’t have to be like them. You get to decide how you treat people. If you see someone being bullied or hear hateful words, you can speak up. You can be the person who chooses kindness.”

Building a Culture of Pride at Home

Conversations are great, but kids learn more from what they see than what they hear. If you want them to embrace inclusivity, show them how.

  • Read books with LGBTQ+ characters (Julian is a Mermaid, And Tango Makes Three).
  • Watch shows that feature diverse families.
  • Teach them that love comes in many forms, and every person deserves respect.

Most importantly, keep the conversation going. This isn’t a one-time talk, it’s an ongoing lesson in empathy, courage, and advocacy.

Your child doesn’t need to understand everything all at once. They just need to know that no matter what, your family stands for curiosity, kindness, love, and acceptance.

References

  1. Hope, Allison. “How Can Parents Explain Pride Month to Their Child?” Parents, May 26, 2022. https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/how-to-explain-pride-month-to-a-child/.
  2. “How to Talk to Your Children about Hate Speech.” Back to UNICEF.org, November 29, 2023. https://www.unicef.org/parenting/how-talk-your-children-about-hate-speech#talk.