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Beech Acres

2018

White "The Strength Switch" book cover with various colors of playdough in the background
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Book Review: The Strength Switch, By Lea Waters; A Busy Mom’s Perspective

Guest blogger, Nikki Zellen, Director of Marketing Book Review: The Strength Switch, by Dr. Lea Waters As a busy Mom working at Beech Acres Parenting Center (behind the scenes), I am fortunate that sometimes my ‘homework’ helps me with my own kids! I had the pleasure of reading Ms. Waters’ book in advance of her appearance in Cincinnati for Raising Strong Children, part one of the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series on January 11th at Mayerson Academy. The Strength Switch is laid out in two parts: Laying the Foundation and Building Strengths. In reading the first half, I recognized many of the same academic studies that our social workers casually talk about in the hallways and reference in meetings. However, Ms. Waters breaks them down for parents to understand. The references to the science and studies help the reader develop a belief that this stuff works! Once you start to embrace the opportunity to flip the switch, Ms. Waters provides many activities for different ages to test with your family. My personal favorite was The Praise Puzzle chapter. Ms. Waters provides detailed examples and phrases of how to celebrate your child in a way that builds on their strengths. If your child brings homes a good grade, there are a variety of ways to respond (which I had never really thought about before), which she outlines: Generic Praise: “Good Job!” Process Praise: “You prepared for this test by spending extra time each night reviewing material.   And it worked!” (praising child’s strategy) or “You pulled up your score by a full grade! What do you think you did that helped you improve? (praising child’s improvement) Praise for Character: “Thanks for opening the door! You are a helpful person!” (will internalize moral strengths are within him) Her recommendation: Strength-based Praise, linking a strength with an action. “You’ve used your persistence [strength] to stick to the task of reviewing for this test every night last week [action], even when you were tired and wanted to play computer games.” “…strength-based praise encourages both achievement and good character by connecting kids with the positive forces they unleash through the combined power of their strengths and their actions.” – Lea Waters The book forces parents to stop and think about their word choices and the profound impact they have on our children. Ms. Waters summarizes the book best for us… “Attention on the negative helped us survive. Attention on the positive helps us thrive.”   And we all want our kids to thrive! My one wish, which may be all Moms’ wish, is for more time. The Strength Switch was a little dense to get through, but if you are lucky enough to be near a Beech Acres Parenting Center location… in one hour you will be able to get a taste of Natural Strength Parenting™ with a parenting coach. Our strengths-based approach to parenting is based on many of the same studies mentioned in the book. Set an intention to focus on your parenting this year by reading The Strength Switch and seeing Lea Waters live in Cincinnati on January 11th. Tickets are available here!

Photo of a young girl on a computer looking shocked with her hands over her mouth
Beech Acres, Parenting Tips

Remember, It Is Important To Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity

Remember, it is important to monitor your children’s online activity and be prepared to talk to them about things they may see on the internet. With the proliferation of digital devices, easy access to the internet, and the popularity of social networks it can be difficult to remain engaged with your child’s online activities, especially for a busy parent. On New Year’s Eve, popular YouTube vlogger Logan Paul posted a video of an apparent suicide while filming with his crew in Japan’s Aokigahara forest. The video titled “We found a dead body in the Japanese Suicide Forest…” was pulled after one day amid a storm of outrage and concern. While the video did contain a disclaimer at the beginning and was not monetized, many found the video to be in poor taste and inappropriate for young potentially impressionable viewers. Paul has since removed the video and apologized. Paul has nearly 20 million followers on his various YouTube channels with over 2 billion views. Many of the 22-year-old’s followers are teenagers. YouTube’s influence on teenagers is vast. According to the National Cyber Security Alliance, 91% of teens between 13 and 17 reports using YouTube regularly and 57% report to having an online account of some type that their parents are not aware of. This means it is critical to be aware of what your kids are doing online. Here are some tips to help you monitor your child’s online activity and how to talk to your kids about things they encounter online. Establish Ground Rules According to the National Cyber Security Alliance’s 2017 survey Keeping Up with Generation App: NCSA Parent/Teen Online Safety Survey, “28% of teens report that their household has no rules about their use of devices”. Of those families that do have rules in place over 70% of teens feel that those rules are effective. Be open about your concerns about your child’s online activity and work with them to establish rules. These rules should extend beyond just not using their devices at dinnertime and should include fair consequences for not following them. Make sure your rules are fair, based on your family’s values, and are focused on your child’s well-being. Monitor Their Activity This one may get some pushback from your teens as an invasion of privacy. Be clear about your concerns. Make sure they understand the things you are looking for (inappropriate content, cyberbullying) and why you are concerned. Look for social media and messaging apps and understand how your child is using those apps. Look through their YouTube and browser history with them and discuss any concerns that may arise. Develop Their Strengths Use this as an opportunity to develop your child’s strengths. Social intelligence, honesty, and perspective are important when being an online citizen. Being aware of the motives of others can be difficult to determine over the internet. Make sure your child is nimble with their thinking when engaging people online. Being open and honest about what they are doing online can help open communication with you. Explain that they are likely to encounter things online that they may disagree with or are not in line with their own values. Being able to look at different perspectives can help them be safer. Talk To Them Rules and monitoring can only go so far. Make sure you are listening to your children and talking to them. Videos like Paul’s or many others they may encounter online can be disturbing and confusing. Be open about topics that may come up and assure your children you are there for them. Seek Help When Necessary https://staysafeonline.org has some great tips for helping your teens stay safe online. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Parent Coaching to help you deal with various parenting challenges. And of course, suicide, as depicted in the Logan Paul video, is a major concern among teens. Help is available If you need to talk to someone, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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