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Cyberbullying

Orange graphic with an image of a little girl hiding her face with bullies standing behind her with a text box with information about bullying
Bullying, Cyberbullying, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Information on Bullying From Parent Connext

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Bullying is a Common Parenting Concern Most parents say that one of their greatest fears is that their children will experience BULLYING by their peers. With information and support, parents can take steps to decrease the likelihood of their child being bullied, as well as help their child if they do experience bullying. Bullying is defined as unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. – stopbullying.gov Types of Bullying:•Physical – hurting a person’s body or possessions. Includes hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, tripping, pushing, taking or breaking someone’s things. •Verbal – saying or writing mean things. Includes teasing, name-calling, taunting, or threatening to cause harm. •Social – hurting someone’s reputation or relationships (also called relational bullying). Includes leaving someone out on purpose, telling other children not to be friends with someone, or embarrassing someone publicly. •Cyberbullying – Bullying via the internet and social media. Talk to Your Child Talk to your child about bullying and what to do if they experience or witness bullying. Ask them to name feelings that come up when bullying happens. Develop a Plan Read a book or watch a show or movie together that addresses bullying. Discuss it as a family. Determine how your family will deal with bullying. Talk to your child about what it means to be an Upstander. Role play situations that might happen and try different responses. Encourage Positivity Encourage positive friendships. Arrange play dates & encourage your child to reach out to a friend to get together. Building strong, positive social connections helps prevent bullying and helps build resilience. We’re Here For You! Parent Connext® provides parents with prompt, practical support for a variety of parenting challenges that families face every day. Contact us today.

Photo of a young student sitting alone at lunch
Bullying, character strengths, Cyberbullying, The Character Effect™

How Can The Character Effect™ Have An Effect On Bullying?

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Bullying continues to be a major problem for students. We know that about 1 in 4 students in the United States say that they have been bullied. The majority of this occurs in middles school and usually involves both verbal and social bullying. So, how can mindfulness and character strengths #HaveAnEffect on bullying? Research shows that Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) programs like The Character Effect™ can be an effective component in comprehensive bullying prevention interventions in schools*. The Character Effect™ (TCE) helps build students’ resilience. We do this by increasing their social-emotional learning competencies of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.  These competencies have been proven to help students learn to interact with others appropriately, create positive relationships, control impulses and stand up for what is right. A resilient student is more likely to be able to handle situations they encounter in a more positive manner. Students who participated in school-wide SEL programs to prevent bullying were 56% less likely to report name-calling by other students*. The Character Effect™ also helps students nurture and develop specific strengths that can be effective against bullying. These strengths include Friendship, Bravery, Self-Control, Kindness, Judgment, and Perspective. All of which are all helpful when learning to interact with peers and handle conflict. Bullying is not going away anytime soon. However, we can teach our students coping skills that rely on their own unique strengths to help mitigate the effects of bullying. Want to #HaveAnEffect in your school? Contact us today and learn how the positive psychology of mindfulness and the power of the 24 character strengths can improve your school’s culture.   *Smith, Brian H., and Sabina Low. “The role of social-emotional learning in bullying prevention efforts.” Theory Into Practice 52.4 (2013): 280-287. *Espelage, Dorothy L., et al. “Clinical trial of Second Step© middle-school program: Impact on aggression & victimization.” Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology 37 (2015): 52-63.  

Photo of a young girl rolling her eyes as her mom speaks to her while holding a phone
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Screen Time, Social Media, Strengths

But Mom, ALL Of My Friends Are On Snapchat!

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“But mom, all of my friends are on Snapchat…”  You may have heard this familiar counter-argument coming from your pre-teen daughter or son recently. Or you heard it in the past. Or you’re about to hear it in a few years. Replace Snapchat with Musical.ly, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, AOL, Dungeons & Dragons. The more things change, the more they stay the same it seems. And of course, this conversation is happening right after work, while your busy making dinner/cleaning the house/helping with homework/making a grocery list/paying bills/a million other parenting things that don’t involve a glass of wine and a relaxing book.  The thing is, you don’t even know what Snapchat is. You’ve got a Facebook account you never have time to check and you may have signed up for Twitter before it became a platform for politicians to shout from their digital soapbox. You’re not entirely sure you want your kids sending snaps or ‘gramming. Don’t worry. You’re not alone and unfortunately, there is no right answer. Just because your kid’s friends have their own vlog or their music on Bandcamp doesn’t mean its right for your child or your family.  First, you should know that the “but everyone else…” argument is a timeless parenting dilemma. Take refuge in knowing that the parents next door, down the road, and around the world have heard it time and time again. While the proliferation of the smartphone and access to broadband have modernized this age-old challenge, it’s something that every parent faces. It’s natural and normal for your kid to challenge you and use this common counter. If it’s not the internet, it’s dating, curfew, driving, spring break; you know, all of those other things you’re going to have to deal with in addition to Snapchat.  You can talk to other parents, even get some advice from one of our parent coaches in a parent coaching session (the first one is FREE), but ultimately this decision is going to be yours to make.  You must first decide if you are even going to let your child on to the social platform they are asking to be on. This is a great time to work on your family’s strengths of teamwork and judgment. Have a conversation! Find out why your kid wants to post lip-sync videos to musical.ly or live stream their Destiny campaigns. Look up these things together. Make sure you listen to your kid and do not quickly dismiss their request. They may not even know why they want to tweet. They just know all their friends are doing it. Remember everything in the world is the most important thing in the world to them. Figure out what appeals to them and what you’re willing to allow. Show compassion and a willingness to listen, talk and learn together. This is how you build trust.  Once you’ve decided they can sign up for a service, do it together. Make sure you understand what it is exactly a platform is doing. It may take you a while to sort out the difference between Swarm and Periscope, but knowing the basics will help you establish rules for use. Basic rules for using social media should be governed by your family’s values, routines, and already established ground rules for screen time and internet use. Don’t have ground rules yet? Check out our six tips for online bliss. In addition to those rules make sure you create rules specific to the platform they are using. For example, no inappropriate content on YouTube, no anonymous group chats on WeChat, no Snapchats after 9:00, and the phone is on the charger in the kitchen or living room overnight. Know their friend list and look through those DMs (that’s a direct message and almost all of these platforms have them).  Great! We’re on Twitch, now what? Let them have fun. Make sure they follow the rules you’ve established and make sure to check in on them from time to time. Once you’ve established trust these periodic check-ins should not be a surprise. Also, take this opportunity to build their strength of social intelligence. Make sure they understand to watch out for and report cyberbullying, messages from people they don’t know, and anything weird, inappropriate, or scary they may see online.  Now, let’s figure out where all the vowels are in Flickr and Tumblr togethr. 

Photo of three young girls look menacingly at another young girl with her head down
Beech Acres, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Parenting Tips

My Kid May Be A Cyberbully! What Should I Do?

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You recently discovered some inappropriate, mean, or hurtful comments directed at other children on your child’s phone. What will you say? Cyberbullying, a form of bullying or harassment using digital contacts such as texts, email, or social media, is a growing concern for parents. The influence of technology on our culture has never been greater. Kids are using digital devices at an earlier age and are spending much more time in front of them. The ubiquitous use of digital technologies has made them an easy platform for bullying to thrive. According to Stopbullying.org, 15% of all U.S. high school students were cyberbullied last year. Sadly, that number is dramatically higher, a staggering 55%, among LGBTQ students. Last year we explored ways to address bullying when your child is the victim, but what if your child is the bully? First, take a few moments to collect your thoughts. Make sure you are prepared to intentionally approach the subject. When you are ready to address this issue here are some things to ask if you have discovered inappropriate treatment of other children on one of your child’s devices. Ask your child if she knows what can happen to kids that are cyberbullied. They can get depressed, become anxious, or worse. Ask your child what her intention was. What were they hoping to accomplish? Ask your child what the other child did to prompt their behavior.  Ask your child how else she can manage her feelings towards other children in acceptable ways. Listening to your child and understanding their behavior and their motivations are key to addressing this issue. Working through intention and consequences can lead to better decision making in the future.

Photo of two parents and their child looking down at digital devices
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time, Social Media

Six Tips For Online Bliss

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Here are six quick tips to help you and your children get on the same page about screen time. Establish Some Simple Ground Rules Start by setting up some simple rules for everyone to follow. These can include no phones during meal time, no screens a half hour before bedtime, or no computer time until after homework is complete. These basic rules should reflect your family’s values and correspond with any established routines. Utilize your family’s strength of teamwork by working together to establish these rules. Doing so creates a sense of ownership and accountability in the process Choose Quality Over Quantity Rather than set a specific number of hours your children are allowed to be online, try starting a conversation about what they love and why they love it. Not only will this help you get to know your child better, but it can encourage their strengths of curiosity and love of learning by letting them spend time with something they really enjoy. If your child likes Harry Potter, for example, set them up on Pottermore or find some games related to the books. This way they are engaging with something they enjoy rather than spending mindless time scrolling through Netflix or YouTube.  Find Appropriate Time To Spend Online  Be intentional and mindful in setting aside time for your kids to be online. Sit down together as a family to develop, discuss, and create these rules. Discuss with them your daily schedules and routines and make sure screen time isn’t interfering with homework, family time, or extracurriculars. Remind them that screen time right before bed may interrupt their sleep. Reinforce the importance of completing their homework before jumping into a game of Fortnite. This will help them be more responsible about the time they choose to be online and develop their strength of self-regulation. Understand What Is and Is Not Appropriate Discussions about social media and screen time provide a great opportunity to reinforce your family’s values and to build on their strengths of judgment and social intelligence. While the internet is an awesome repository of all of the world’s collected knowledge and cat pics, it is also home to some pretty dark stuff. Empower your child to have fun and discover, but make sure they are equipped with the knowledge to avoid things like cyberbullying online predators, or malicious software. Utilize tools such as Google Safe Search Kids, a custom search engine that uses Google’s SafeSearch features along with additional filtering to block potentially harmful material. Establishing a relationship built on trust will let your child feel safe coming to you with any concerns that they have about inappropriate things they may see or encounter on the internet. Model Appropriate Screen Time Yourself Kids are observers of their world. Remember that. When you are having a conversation with your child make sure you are present and fully engaged. Put your phone on silent and put in on a table or desk. Being intentional about this will encourage your daughter or son to do the same. Make sure you comply with the ground rules you established. No phones at dinner or before bedtime. If your kids (or you) need a little help in this department check out the app Moment. It helps you track how much time you spend on your iPhone or iPad. You can set limits and even connect to and monitor your entire family’s usage. It can be eye-opening to see just how much time is being spent online. And most importantly, make sure to never text while driving!  Have Some Analogue Fun The internet has had a profound impact on our lives. It has made many things easier, more convenient, and even more fun. It allows us to connect and stay connected to friends, family, and the world around us. But, don’t forget the time before the iPhone, before AOL, or before that first PDA or dial-up connection. Approach some non-digital activities with zest. Read paperback books together. Take a walk, hike, or bike ride. Dust off the old board games and have a family game night. Check out our Parenting Resources page for more fun things to do. Value balance in your life between the internet and IRL. 

Blurry image of children walking down a hallway with backpacks on
Cyberbullying, Human Trafficking, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Sex Trafficking

National Human Trafficking Awareness Day

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Today is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. National Human Trafficking Awareness Day is designated to bring awareness to the plague of Human Trafficking. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, nearly 25,000 runaways were reported in 2017. Of those, an estimated 1 in 7 were possible victims of child sex trafficking. This sobering statistic heightens the importance of being aware of the global problem of human trafficking. Be Aware As a busy parent, the possibility of having to deal with this issue is likely a low priority on your list of daily concerns. While the likelihood of your child becoming a victim is remote, it is important to be aware of the issue and look for signs of human trafficking in your community. The National Human Trafficking Hotline lists a number of “red flags” to look for in your community. These include: Common Work and Living Conditions: Person is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes Person is in the commercial sex industry and has a “manager” They owe a large debt and is unable to pay it off Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior: Person appears fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, nervous or paranoid Person exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement They avoid eye contact Poor Physical Health: Person doesn’t have medical care and/or is denied medical services by employer Person appears malnourished or shows signs of repeated exposure to harmful chemicals They show signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture Often, bizarre security measures inconsistent with the rest of the area exist in the work and/or living locations. Look for opaque or boarded-up windows,  bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.. How to Protect Your Children Tell your child to always be aware of their surroundings, be wary of communicating with strangers, and always have their cell phones with them (and charged!) with family and emergency contacts programmed in. Helping your child develop and maintain a good self-esteem and healthy relationships, you reduce the risk that he or she will be targeted by traffickers. Nationwide Children’s Hospital offers some tips on their website including: Know what your kids are doing online. (check out our recent tips on online safety) Know who your kids are with and where they are hanging out. There are obvious situations, like being on the street late at night, but even places like the mall can be dangerous. Teach your children resiliency. Help your child build a strong self-esteem from an early age. Maintain open communication with your child. Be someone the teens in your life can talk with. Awareness and caution are key to recognizing, reducing, and preventing human and sex trafficking. If you have any questions or concerns about this topic visit the National Human Trafficking Hotline or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children websites.

Photo of three girls bullying another girl
Beech Acres, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Parenting Tips, Parents, Services

Help! My Kid is a Cyberbully!

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You’ve recently discovered inappropriate treatment directed at other children on your child’s phone. What will you say? Cyberbullying, a form of bullying or harassment using digital contacts such as texts, email, or social media, is a growing concern for parents. The influence of technology on our culture has never been greater. Kids are using digital devices at an earlier age and are spending much more time in front of them. The ubiquitous use of digital technologies has made them an easy platform for bullying to thrive. According to Stopbullying.org, 15% of all U.S. high school students were cyberbullied last year. Sadly, that number is dramatically higher, a staggering 55%, among LGBTQ students. We’ve recently explored ways to address bullying when your child is the victim, but what if your child is the bully? Here are some things to ask if you have discovered inappropriate treatment of other children on one of your child’s devices. Ask your child if she knows what can happen to kids that are cyberbullied. They can get depressed, become anxious, or worse. Ask your child what her intention was. What were they hoping to accomplish? Ask your child what the other child did to prompt their behavior.  Ask your child how else she can manage her feelings towards other children in acceptable ways. Listening to your child and understanding their behavior and their motivations are key to addressing this issue. Working through intention and consequences can lead to better decision making in the future.

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