Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce: Tips For Co-Parenting
NEW! Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Divorce, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this FREE course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to talking to your children about divorce and how to keep them informed throughout the process. Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce Once your divorce is finalized, it is critical to be on the same page with the other parent about raising and loving your children. Accept that, while the marriage is over, you will be parents together forever. The family is not ending; it is being reorganized. Tips For Co-Parenting Maintaining a parental relationship after divorce requires the ability to communicate. A clear co-parenting plan helps establish the boundaries in which you will parent your child together. Build from the ground up. Do not assume old patterns; establish new ones with your child’s best interests in mind. Clarify the expectations of the new relationship. Be intentional about how you behave with your former spouse. They are now your business partner in raising your children. Be Intentional Start with a clear plan that keeps your child’s well-being front and center. Make all agreements and arrangements clear. Use written agreements or digital calendars to stay organized. Be clear and complete in your communications. When creating schedules, always include times, places, and various needs (clothes, dinner, etc.). Schedule appointments to talk about your children when they are not present. Having this dedicated time to discuss issues related to raising your children will help keep you on the same page. Raising your child together “on purpose” helps increase stability for you and your child. Be Strong Your mutual concern is the well-being of your children. Establish a partnership that recognizes your reorganized family’s strengths. Lead with love always, but be prepared to flex your strengths of teamwork, judgment, and sometimes forgiveness. Be aware of and appreciate your own strengths as a parent and human being, and recognize the strengths of your co-parent. This allows you to see and grow your child’s natural gifts. Show appreciation for the other parent whenever possible in front of your children. Seeing you express appreciation, no matter how small, contributes to the greater success of the parenting partnership, which puts your children at ease. Be Mindful Being present, fully engaged, and accepting in each moment you spend with your child is so important. You cannot control what happens at the parent’s home beyond trying to establish clear guidelines for your co-parenting plan. Do not focus on or compare households, rather spend your time with your child the best way that you can. Listen to what they have to say and respect their feelings. This will create a loving, caring atmosphere in your home that reminds your child that they are loved and safe. Co-parenting using an intentional, strengths-based, and mindful approach gives you a blueprint for success. Staying on the same page, respecting each other, and being flexible whenever possible creates a strong, unified experience that shows your child that you love them and have their best interests at heart. More in this series: Telling Your Kids Working Through Custody Together
