Get More of the Behavior You Want from Your Children with These Tips from Parent Connext™

Quality Time

Spend quality one-on-one time with your child—try 5-10 minutes per day with no distractions. Remember that CONNECTION BUILDS COOPERATION.

Spend quality time with your child – Quality one-on-one time (where your child is in charge of how you play or what you do) builds connection between the parent and child. That connection encourages cooperation.

Parent By Example

Parent by example – Model the behavior you want to see. If you want your children to be respectful, treat them with respect.

Model the behavior you want to see. Remember that children learn a lot by observing us– sometimes more than from our words.

Give your child lots of positive attention – Use positive reinforcement to encourage the behavior you want. Tell them ‘thank you’ when they are doing what you asked them to do. Praise them. Be appreciative of the behavior you like.

Set Proper Expectations for your Child and Yourself

Prep your child for challenging situations in advance. For example, “We are going to the store. We are only buying what is on the list.” Or “We need to leave in 5 minutes.”

Check your expectations. Children are going to misbehave. Testing boundaries and limits are important aspects of their development. Your power is in how you choose to respond.

Be Consistent – Children thrive on knowing what to expect (i.e. morning and bedtime routines)

Have realistic expectations – Be aware of what is developmentally appropriate for your child given their age and temperament. For example, a toddler can’t be expected to sit through a 1-2 hour dinner.

Prevent and minimize problems by communicating expectations in advance – To a teen, you might say, “I expect you to be home at midnight, that means in the house at 12.” To a child, “We are stopping at the store for a few things, but we aren’t buying anything that isn’t on our list.”

Be aware of what you are modeling – This one is worth repeating. Our children learn a lot by watching us. If you don’t want your child to yell, don’t yell. If you don’t want your child to swear, don’t swear.

Connect Before You Direct – Make sure you have your child’s attention, touch their arm, get down on their level before making a request.

Share Power- When you can, allow your child some say. Children want to have some control, as we all do. It can be as simple as letting them choose if they want to brush their teeth or put on their pajamas first before bed.

Use Empathy – When we can be open to our child’s emotions and accept them, whether negative or positive, they are more easily soothed and comforted.