Author name: Parent Coach

Why Should You Find Your Family’s Purpose, Values, Vision, and Goals? Happy and successful families are created with intention. They just don’t happen. Families that are successful require time, patience, and planning. Setting goals allow your family to discuss with each other what your dreams are and help to identify family values. Value is defined as the quality or worth of a thing. Family values are often reinforced by our spiritual or religious beliefs and ideas passed down from generation to generation. Involving family members in decisions gives everyone a voice and allows for an opportunity to work through, clarify and resolve issues. Family goal setting benefits children by allowing them to achieve success by seeing their goal from beginning to end; provides individual focus, direction, and purpose; helps them to feel important and listened to, and your children will use the values they learn to develop an inner compass. Benefits to parents who goal set include less pleading and punishing and more cooperation with their children; removes them from an ‘us against them’ role and places them in the ‘all of us together’ role, and provides a greater awareness of what is going on in their children’s lives. Powerful Questions for Helping Families Identify Their Purpose, Values, Vision What is Our Family Purpose? Toward what end does our family exist? What does our family do for its members? What do its members do for the family? What contribution does our family make in the world? What are Our Family Values? What are my top five family values? What are my spouse’s top five family values? What are our family’s top five family values? What are the values I hope my children will carry with them into the future? What is Our Family Vision? What does our family’s success look like in 10…20 years? What kind of adult do I want my child to be? What kind of parent do I want my child to be? How do I want my children to remember me? What is my vision for myself as a parent? What is my vision for my relationship with my children? What is my vision for the example I’d like to set for my children? What experiences would I like to provide for my children? What are the skills and abilities I hope my children will have? How do I hope my children will approach life and relationships? Download today’s activity.

Why Maintaining A Stay At Home Routine Is Important Keep your family on track by staying organized during the quarantine. Guest Blogger Connie Harrison, Parenting Specialist Beech Acres Parenting Center We have all been reading online and watching tv for information about how to cope with the new reality of staying at home. Much of this information includes the idea that we should have a schedule at home for both parents and children, but no one has said why we should do this. For some of us, the “why” is very important. There are several reasons why structure helps us all. The first reason we humans like some structure is that the brain is a pattern-seeking organ. A routine or schedule is a pattern the brain recognizes and appreciates. One pattern the brain controls is our sleep/wake cycle, and how it is influenced by light. Think of how we struggled to make the change to Daylight Saving Time. That is an example of a routine or pattern that our brains recognize, and need time to change. Setting up a schedule or routine at home allows the brain to move to a new pattern. For children, one of the important reasons to have a schedule is that it makes the day more predictable. The ability to predict what comes next helps us to ease anxiety. Right now our news is full of information about what is still unpredictable about the virus and the response of society to it. We have the ability to insert some predictability and a measure of control over our immediate environment at home. That feeling of control helps adults as well as children to function effectively while the outside world is not in our control at all. Children are most impacted by what is going on inside of our families, so a family schedule is very important for them. You can add to that sense of security by getting some input from them on the schedule. Adults set up the basic structure of what time the workday begins and ends, when meals are planned, and how parental responsibilities shape the day. Within that external framework, children can help decide if they want reading or math first, or if they want longer breaks or a shorter overall day. Be sure to include some breaks, and snacks as age-appropriate. Here are some things to consider in planning your family schedule: Have a way to signal when the workday begins. It could be changing into work clothes, when the tv is turned off, or after the breakfast dishes are done. Include a time to tidy up the work area. You may need to do it before lunch and at the end of the day depending on the activities and ages of the children. For most people, a less cluttered space is less stressful. You probably have more things in the environment while everyone is home. Consider care and storage, and how you can control your environment with organization. Keep children to an age-appropriate sleep and wake time and make it part of the routine. Teens are more nocturnal, so if you can tolerate midnight lights out and 10 AM wake up, try it out. Plan some non-screen time. Include reading or crafts, board games or napping, whatever is right in your family. Many of us need to alternate quiet sitting periods with periods of activity, adults as well as children. Consider this while planning. Finally, when you set up a schedule, commit to trying it for 3 or 4 days. Come back together as a family to re-evaluate how the plan works for everyone. Changes may be necessary to get to the peaceful and productive family you want to be. Planning, organizing, and maintaining a routine can help your family maintain order and keep peace in your house during this uncertain time. Need help planning your day? Download our COVID-19 Action Plan.

A Busy Mom Trades Travel For Working From Home An interview with Katie Doviak, Senior Account Executive at TargetX Is working from home new to you or are you a work from home veteran? How are you adjusting to the new normal? Throughout my 14 year career, my job has required me to travel out of state on average 2-3 days a week. While the recent mandate to work from home has been a big adjustment for the majority of the workforce, working from home is not new to me, as I work from my home on the days I am not on traveling. With that said, the restrictions on my ability to travel have had a significant impact on my work environment as I am typically on-site every week.  With limitations on travel,  my colleagues and I have had to restructure our traditional in-person meetings and conduct more of our interactions with clients in a virtual environment.  While working for a technology-based company has made the shift to a completely virtual environment seamless for our whole company, it has been an adjustment for some of our clients as they have come to expect on-site interactions. What is your general routine? When I am home, my routine starts with getting my two kids ready for school and then heading to my home office. My day is filled with internal and external phone calls, web meetings, and planning for my next on-site visit.  While I have hectic days, I have the ability to control my schedule, which allows me to focus on getting work done and not about how many hours I’m working.  With this approach, I find time to work out in the middle of the day, run an errand, or even volunteer from time to time at the kid’s school. While there are freedoms to controlling your schedule, there are many late nights and long days responding to client requests. With the recent quarantine, my at-home schedule has changed significantly,  because not only am I quarantined at my home but I have to balance my schedule with my husband’s work schedule as well as ensuring my kids stay up to date on their school work. How do you ensure you do not get distracted by things to do around the house? I try my best to maintain a regular routine which helps minimize the distractions that could impact my work. For me, I get distracted by the clutter in my home.  It is important to make sure that my house is in order,  I schedule time in my day to make sure dishes are done, laundry is folded and toys are picked up.   If I start my day with an organized mindset, allow for time to keep the clutter at bay, I find that I am less distracted and able to focus more on work. What is your set up like? (Technology etc) I have a laptop and cell phone so I am able to travel easily and work on the road in airports, hotels, cars, coffee shops, literally anywhere.  At home, that same flexibility has been helpful to be able to travel from my office, upstairs, the basement or even outside when there is too much background noise. How is having your 2 daughters at home impacted your routine? Let’s just say, my routine has changed slightly.  To give you a glimpse of my day,  today I reviewed a Request For Proposal with a coworker on a web meeting, while simultaneously giving my 7-year-old spelling words.  When I said the word “what” my coworker repeated himself. I laughed and said, “sorry that wasn’t a question to you”.  I wasn’t muted when giving that spelling word. Jokes aside, my routine has changed.  Instead of prepping for the next call, I prep the girls to make sure they know what they are working on for the next 30-60 mins.  It also has required some prep work each night to make a list of items for them to work on the next day.  I have seen a lot of people set a schedule for their kids down to the hour.  While this is great it won’t work for our house like every day my schedule of calls changes.  We have found the list of activities gives guidance but we complete what we can when we can. What does remote learning look like for them? The biggest thing with a 6 and 7-year-old at home is making sure that they have something to do that keeps their attention, and with two working parents also don’t require a lot of guidance.  Last week my kids were on Spring Break so it was a bit of a free for all which we quickly learned was not going to work.  This week the school has sent projects and a rough schedule with about 2 hours of work each day.  The challenge for us and many other working parents is that the workday is longer than the school day. We have had some help so far this week as grandparents have Facetime the girls to help them practice their reading when both my husband and I have had work calls.  My daughter’s kindergarten teacher has recorded herself reading books that can be watched anytime.  Of course, there are also online videos like the ones the Cincinnati Zoo is producing that make me so glad we renewed our membership this year and support such a great organization! What tips do you have for people that are working from home with kids? Remember so many people are in the same boat and will understand if you are on a phone call and they hear your kids in the background.  Also, if possible don’t try and cram everything from your normal workday into 8-5.  If there are things you can do in the evenings once the kids go to bed that will make the next day less stressful do it.  There are a lot of things in everyone’s workday that don’t really

A Work From Home “Newbie” Shares His Perspective An interview with Mike Melchers, District Sales Manager – Ohio District at ABB Working from home is new to you? How are you adjusting? I have worked from home in previous roles at my company, so I have some experience. However, in my current role, I am expected to lead a sales team that regularly interacts with customers on a face to face basis. While we are only 1 week into a 100% remote work arrangement, we are preparing a “Remote Work Playbook” for our team to outline new priorities from training, to digital customer interaction.  What is your general routine?  I still try to get up at the same time, shower, dress, etc to keep my morning routine. I often read news for 20 minutes in place of my normal drive time when I would be listening to news/podcasts. This is a good “buffer” between home and work to prepare for the day. I have a dedicated workspace where I can close the door and focus on work. I try to focus on work in 1-hour chunks, and allow breaks for snacks, bathroom, etc. In the morning I review my daily schedule and block off some 1/2 hour or 1 hour times where I can spend helping the kids with homework or exercising as well. After work is complete, I try to shut down my computer as I normally would and focus on family.  How do you ensure you do not get distracted by things to do around the house? It’s very difficult to do in a work from home arrangement. When I notice myself getting distracted by TV, kids, Twitter, etc I try to refocus on work by either turning off my phone or personal computer and putting it out of reach. Often areas of distraction exist just because they are there. Sometimes you have to take action to move those things out of reach or eyesight, even if you have to do so by moving to a new room or area of the house to re-focus. What is your set up like? (Technology etc) I have a dedicated home office with a personal laptop, a work laptop, and one large screen in the middle, which I can connect to either laptop I am working on at the time. This helps me stay focused so that whatever is on my large screen is my priority at that time. I try not to have both laptops open at the same time otherwise my attention cannot be focused and I get off track easily. I also have my iPad and Phone that during work hours I try not to use unless I really need to for work. How is having your 3 daughters at home impacted your routine?  Tremendously! At ages 4,6 and 9 there is a broad range of educational needs and attention span. The 9-year-old is somewhat self-sufficient, however, she still needs a lot of help with complex concepts before she can complete her assignments. The 4 and 6-year-old both need almost constant help with focus, schedule, and individual attention. When 1 person is teaching all three, it’s extremely difficult to stay on task and help all of them at once. Unfortunately, there is rarely a time that both my wife and I can both help as we both work full time, so we are trying to divide our schedule so that one can work, one can focus on the kids.  What does remote learning look like for them?  We are still learning the routine, but so far each teacher is sending assignments for the week via OptionC, their school online website. The real challenge is consolidating all of this information, and then putting it into a schedule. It’s at least 4 hours of prep work before we even get it to the kids to start so it’s like having a new part-time job at night.  Some of the teachers have started posting some online videos which are very helpful and keeps them connected with their teachers. At this time we don’t have a great way to turn assignments in digitally so we are doing the best we can to organize all of this paperwork. Overall I would say we are all adjusting to this new routine, and it’s clear both the schools and parents don’t have the digital tools to make this process as easy as it could be. How does she like being at home with dad?  The kids love it! What tips do you have for people that are working from home with kids?  Set a schedule, and write it down. Ours is hanging on our wall and the kids know each day what to expect. It’s also great for parents because it takes those decisions out of your day for “what to do next”. Anytime you can automate those small decisions, it gives you more time and energy to focus on the actual tasks. Considering the 24 character strengths, what strengths do you think will help you and  your girls through this new reality? Self Control and Perspective are 2 strengths I would say we value in our house. We always teach our girls that we can’t control what other people say and do, but we can control how we react. This teaches them the internalize what has happened, think about it, and plan their reaction.  Perspective is important. When I start to feel down or that things are out of control, I often think about others that are more financially strained or don’t have the resources or education, or living conditions we have in this country. There are many people that struggle to maintain their house or eat, so our problems are small in comparison. We will get through this just fine, and need to focus on how we can help others through our actions, or donations. Your wife works in a hospital and works long hours and does not have the option to

Expert Tips From A Work From Home Veteran An interview with Chris Beiting, Content Manager, Digital Product at Solution Tree How long have you worked from home? I have worked from home off and on ever since 2009. But full-time since the spring of 2014. What is your general routine? A routine is important. In order to get into the work mindset, I have to get up, get showered, and get dressed for work. Now, I don’t mean wear business casual or a suit. But I need to at least not work unshowered and in my pajamas. I start my workday typically around 8/8:30am. I will typically take a quick break around 9:30/10 to let the dogs out and grab coffee or water. I then break for lunch and then have another break around 2:30. It’s important I end the day at 5 pm. It’s easy to get into the mode where you’re always working. And it’s even more important to have that division when working from home. So I do my best to stop at 5 and not work evenings or weekends — unless there’s a deadline or things need addressed that can’t wait. How do you ensure you do not get distracted by things to do around the house? The trick for that is to have a dedicated work area. I’m fortunate enough that I’ve usually been able to have a dedicated room in my house to set up a home office – but even if you don’t, it’s important to set up space. Don’t work from your bed. It’s setting you up for failure. Now, that being said…I’d be lying if I didn’t toss a load of laundry in during one of my quick breaks. You’re home and laundry will never die. Might as well multitask a little. What is your set up like? (Technology etc) I’m a video producer and product manager for an education company. So I have a wide variety of computers — both Mac and Windows. I always at least run two machines at once, connected by a virtual keyboard/mouse switch. That way I can share work between the machines and use two displays. Since I’m editing video, I always need the most power. The less time I take rendering a video, the more time I can spend finishing projects or balancing my work/life. I also get a lot of emails answered on my iPhone and iPad. While I typically don’t work at night, I will usually at least answer an email back when I get it. People might disagree with that mentality, but it’s always worked for me. How has having your daughter at home changed your routine? My daughter has never known her dad to not work from home. When she’s been sick or just off from school most of the time she will be here with me. In the summer, she is usually at daycare. With the recent events, it is looking like she is going to be here with me during the day for the foreseeable future. Thankfully she’s 8, so there is some self-sufficiency that happens. But I need to be mindful so she’s keeping up on the tasks that her school has given her. It usually results in me taking more frequent breaks to follow up with her. She also isn’t afraid to come into the office. I usually always give her a heads up if I have a video call or meeting, so if there’s a need while that is happening she’s allowed to send me a message through iMessage on her iPad. What does remote learning look like for her? Since this kind of caught a lot of schools off guard, they’ve had to more or less adapt on the fly. Thankfully her school is a one-to-one school with Chromebooks, so all the students from K-12 have had exposure to learning with technology. While the students under 4th grade aren’t allowed to take their Chromebooks home, the school did give us all the login information so if we wanted, or had the ability to we could log in from home. Thankfully a few years ago I bought a Chromebook, and it’s been sitting around collecting dust. This week I updated it…added her login info, and she’s been completing her tasks. Her teacher is pretty tech-savvy, so she’s been engaging with the students through video. I believe my daughter is more skilled at Google Apps than me. How does she like being at home with dad? With the social distancing, she’s been bored. She understands that I am busy, and I have a lot going on — but I am making time to make sure she’s engaged. I like her being here. Kids grow up so fast and before you know it, they don’t want to hang out with you. I’ve been extremely fortunate that I’ve been able to participate in her daily school life since the beginning. This is just another version of that. We’re making the best out of a weird time in history. What tips do you have for people that are new to working from home? – Create a specific workspace. If you have an extra room, use it. If not use your kitchen table, but have a consistent spot where your daily work will be completed. – Get dressed and ready for work. It sounds nuts, but trust me it mentally prepares you for it. – If you have a dog/cat have them in your workspace with you. It helps and gives you something to talk to. You get lonely quickly. – Video call with your co-workers if possible. Using Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, Facebook Messenger. There’s no excuse to not use it. It helps you stay connected. Again, don’t like the loneliness set in. – Create a daily to-do list. It will let you collect your thoughts, and keep you focused and on task throughout the day. Since you’re at home it’s easy to get distracted. Working on

Today is find a rainbow day! 🌈 Download this fun activity for your family.  As you walk around, notice what you see around you. Can you find an object for every color in the rainbow? As you find each color, draw or write about the object in the matching color square on your worksheet. When you have all of the colors, you can come back to the table and show your finished worksheet for a prize. While you are working, see what other things you notice. What sounds do you hear? What do you smell? What can you touch? How many items can you find for each color?