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Photo of a young girl looking shocked as she looks down at a laptop screen
Beech Acres, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents

Monitoring Your Child’s Online Activity

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It is important to monitor your children’s online activity and be prepared to talk to them about things they may see on the internet. Establish Ground Rules According to the National Cyber Security Alliance’s 2017 survey Keeping Up with Generation App: NCSA Parent/Teen Online Safety Survey, “28% of teens report that their household has no rules about their use of devices”. Of those families that do have rules in place over 70% of teens feel that those rules are effective. Be open about your concerns about your child’s online activity and work with them to establish rules. These rules should extend beyond just not using their devices at dinnertime and should include fair consequences for not following them. Make sure your rules are fair, based on your family’s values, and are focused on your child’s well-being. Here are some common ground rules. Make sure to work together to establish rules that reflect your own family’s values: Create specific times for screen time use. After school, after homework, and after dinner are good times for kids to unwind. Agree on times to put the phone down. During dinner, before homework is complete, right before bedtime are good times to put the screen down and spend some face to face time as a family. Reserve the right to pick up and review your children’s phones. You want to respect their privacy, but make sure they understand you want to be involved and understand what is happening in their digital life. Review search history. Kids can be quick to understand how to clear their history and cache. Use this as an opportunity to not only teach about online safety but to also build trust. Monitor Their Activity This one may get some pushback from your teens as an invasion of privacy. Be clear about your concerns. Make sure they understand the things you are looking for (inappropriate content, cyberbullying) and why you are concerned. Look for social media and messaging apps and understand how your child is using those apps. Look through their YouTube and browser history with them and discuss any concerns that may arise. Develop Their Strengths Use this as an opportunity to develop your child’s strengths. Social intelligence, honesty, and perspective are important when being an online citizen. Being aware of the motives of others can be difficult to determine over the internet. Make sure your child is nimble with their thinking when engaging people online. Being open and honest about what they are doing online can help open communication with you. Explain that they are likely to encounter things online that they may disagree with or are not in line with their own values. Being able to look at different perspectives can help them be safer. Talk To Them Rules and monitoring can only go so far. Make sure you are listening to your children and talking to them.  They may encounter videos, memes, photos, and other content online that can be disturbing and confusing. Be open about topics that may come up and assure your children you are there for them. Seek Help When Necessary https://staysafeonline.org has some great tips for helping your teens stay safe online. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Parent Coaching to help you deal with various parenting challenges. Your first visit is FREE!

Photo of a book called The Yes Brain
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™

The Yes Brain Book Review

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Guest blogger, Nikki Zellen, Director of Marketing Beech Acres Parenting Center “There’s so much I want for my kids: happiness, emotional strength, academic success, social skills, a strong sense of self, and more.  It’s hard to know where to even start. What characteristics are important to focus on to help them live happy, meaningful lives?”  This is the opening line of The Yes Brain by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. How do you NOT keep reading? Who doesn’t want those things? Heard in the Hallways The Yes Brain was mentioned by a few of our parenting specialists after they had met Dr. Siegel at a recent conference in California. As a working mom, but by no means an expert on parenting, my ears perked up. The Yes Brain is: Recommended by our team of parenting experts Aligned with Beech Acres Parenting Center’s Natural Strength Parenting™ Approachable & readable Written for parents, but includes 2 pages within each section with comics to share with kids; putting you LITERALLY on the same page as your child. Under 200 pages & a sunny, hopeful jacket cover (I know, I know… don’t judge a book by its cover.) What Did I Learn The Yes Brain combines brain science with realistic scenarios and simple tools to start to implement with your family. The four sections:  Balance, Resiliency, Insightful & Empathetic are like moons orbiting Natural Strength Parenting™; similar but bring their own spin to parenting. Few standouts included the consequences of overscheduling… which can happen so fast each season and understanding the power of play & boredom. My son and I are practicing the ‘power of the pause’ and feeling when we are moving from the green zone to the red zone. I emphasize practicing because right now we are raising our voices and saying ‘I’M PAUSING.’ And walking away to take a few deep breaths before moving forward.  And I loved the modeling ideas to teach empathy… so important and so easy to forget!  We will be making homemade cards vs. visiting Hallmark for my Mom’s upcoming birthday. Who knew that simple task teaches empathy?  (Aside from Dr. Siegel and Beech Acres Parenting Specialists.) Final thoughts I highly recommend The Yes Brain! I am always excited to hear things in the hallways at work that can make me a better parent and this was a great one. As always, if you don’t have time to sit down and focus on a book… we are right in your neighborhood. Schedule a parent coaching session to learn Natural Strength Parenting™. We believe in the framework so much, the first session is free! Get started by completing the VIA Character Strength Survey and discovering your top strengths as well as your child’s today!  

Photo of a young girl rolling her eyes as her mom speaks to her while holding a phone
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Screen Time, Social Media, Strengths

But Mom, ALL Of My Friends Are On Snapchat!

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“But mom, all of my friends are on Snapchat…”  You may have heard this familiar counter-argument coming from your pre-teen daughter or son recently. Or you heard it in the past. Or you’re about to hear it in a few years. Replace Snapchat with Musical.ly, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, AOL, Dungeons & Dragons. The more things change, the more they stay the same it seems. And of course, this conversation is happening right after work, while your busy making dinner/cleaning the house/helping with homework/making a grocery list/paying bills/a million other parenting things that don’t involve a glass of wine and a relaxing book.  The thing is, you don’t even know what Snapchat is. You’ve got a Facebook account you never have time to check and you may have signed up for Twitter before it became a platform for politicians to shout from their digital soapbox. You’re not entirely sure you want your kids sending snaps or ‘gramming. Don’t worry. You’re not alone and unfortunately, there is no right answer. Just because your kid’s friends have their own vlog or their music on Bandcamp doesn’t mean its right for your child or your family.  First, you should know that the “but everyone else…” argument is a timeless parenting dilemma. Take refuge in knowing that the parents next door, down the road, and around the world have heard it time and time again. While the proliferation of the smartphone and access to broadband have modernized this age-old challenge, it’s something that every parent faces. It’s natural and normal for your kid to challenge you and use this common counter. If it’s not the internet, it’s dating, curfew, driving, spring break; you know, all of those other things you’re going to have to deal with in addition to Snapchat.  You can talk to other parents, even get some advice from one of our parent coaches in a parent coaching session (the first one is FREE), but ultimately this decision is going to be yours to make.  You must first decide if you are even going to let your child on to the social platform they are asking to be on. This is a great time to work on your family’s strengths of teamwork and judgment. Have a conversation! Find out why your kid wants to post lip-sync videos to musical.ly or live stream their Destiny campaigns. Look up these things together. Make sure you listen to your kid and do not quickly dismiss their request. They may not even know why they want to tweet. They just know all their friends are doing it. Remember everything in the world is the most important thing in the world to them. Figure out what appeals to them and what you’re willing to allow. Show compassion and a willingness to listen, talk and learn together. This is how you build trust.  Once you’ve decided they can sign up for a service, do it together. Make sure you understand what it is exactly a platform is doing. It may take you a while to sort out the difference between Swarm and Periscope, but knowing the basics will help you establish rules for use. Basic rules for using social media should be governed by your family’s values, routines, and already established ground rules for screen time and internet use. Don’t have ground rules yet? Check out our six tips for online bliss. In addition to those rules make sure you create rules specific to the platform they are using. For example, no inappropriate content on YouTube, no anonymous group chats on WeChat, no Snapchats after 9:00, and the phone is on the charger in the kitchen or living room overnight. Know their friend list and look through those DMs (that’s a direct message and almost all of these platforms have them).  Great! We’re on Twitch, now what? Let them have fun. Make sure they follow the rules you’ve established and make sure to check in on them from time to time. Once you’ve established trust these periodic check-ins should not be a surprise. Also, take this opportunity to build their strength of social intelligence. Make sure they understand to watch out for and report cyberbullying, messages from people they don’t know, and anything weird, inappropriate, or scary they may see online.  Now, let’s figure out where all the vowels are in Flickr and Tumblr togethr. 

Photo of a group of young children on their phones
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time

Messenger Kids. Is My Kid Ready For Facebook Messenger?

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Late last year, Facebook, Inc. rolled out a new messaging platform aimed at children ages 4-13. Messenger Kids is available for iOS and Android and promises safer video calls and texting for kids. Facebook describes the app as such: “Messenger Kids is a free video calling and messaging app designed for kids to connect with close friends and family from their tablet or smartphone. Kids can only connect with parent-approved contacts, which creates a more controlled environment. Group or one-on-one video calls with loved ones are more fun with interactive masks, reactions, and sound effects.” Unlike other messaging apps, Messenger Kids requires authentication with a parent’s Facebook account giving parents full control over the app. You have control of the app’s contacts so you can decide who you allow your children to message with. Also, messages have permanence meaning they do not disappear after a period of time like Snapchat. Messenger Kids promises ease of use and fun ways for kids to interact through photos, videos, and gifs. The app does not employ ads, nor does it offer in-app purchases. The promise of security and the high level of parental controls may be a good way to ease your child into messaging. However, with any interactions, it is important to talk to your children about the technology, establish clear rules and boundaries and also monitor their online interactions. Even with the high level of controls offered to parents, there is no way to control the actual content being transmitted. Bullying and sharing of inappropriate content are still possible through the app, though Facebook allows kids to block other users and report online bullying. Facebook seems committed to the idea of this app despite recent problems they have had with online privacy. They have recently pushed an update to the app that included a new “sleep mode”. This setting allows parents to set an off time in the app after which their children can no longer interact with their friends and family online. If you’re an active Facebook user and have tech-savvy kids looking for ways to interact with their friends online, Messenger Kids might be a good place to start. Remember to talk to them about online safety, and make sure they feel comfortable telling you about anything inappropriate they may encounter when online. Common Sense Media offers a review of Messenger Kids focusing on items that matter most to parents as well some other tips for talking to your kids about online safety. For more information on Messenger Kids from Facebook visit https://messengerkids.com

Photo of various books on a wooden table
Beech Acres, Every Child Succeeds

Every Child Succeeds Book Fair

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“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go,” Dr. Suess, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!  Every Child Succeeds at Beech Acres Parenting Center recently wrapped up a campaign to promote literacy and to encourage families participating in the program to read together. The campaign gave families the opportunity to earn books by intentionally taking time to read together. The campaign launched, appropriately enough, on Dr. Suess’ birthday and ran through the spring. For every book a family read together, they earned a “book buck”. The accumulated “book bucks” could then be redeemed for brand new books at a special book fair event held at our Beechmont campus. “We want to encourage families to read to their children as much as possible,” Lisa Haverkamp, ECS Program Manager at Beech Acres said. The book fair featured a short presentation on dialogic reading and reinforced the importance of reading to your child every day. The parents and their children then had the opportunity to shop for books together. “Just so Dr. Suess knows…our babies are going places!” Lisa said. To learn more about Every Child Succeeds visit our website.

Photo of three young girls look menacingly at another young girl with her head down
Beech Acres, Bullying, Cyberbullying, Parenting Tips

My Kid May Be A Cyberbully! What Should I Do?

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You recently discovered some inappropriate, mean, or hurtful comments directed at other children on your child’s phone. What will you say? Cyberbullying, a form of bullying or harassment using digital contacts such as texts, email, or social media, is a growing concern for parents. The influence of technology on our culture has never been greater. Kids are using digital devices at an earlier age and are spending much more time in front of them. The ubiquitous use of digital technologies has made them an easy platform for bullying to thrive. According to Stopbullying.org, 15% of all U.S. high school students were cyberbullied last year. Sadly, that number is dramatically higher, a staggering 55%, among LGBTQ students. Last year we explored ways to address bullying when your child is the victim, but what if your child is the bully? First, take a few moments to collect your thoughts. Make sure you are prepared to intentionally approach the subject. When you are ready to address this issue here are some things to ask if you have discovered inappropriate treatment of other children on one of your child’s devices. Ask your child if she knows what can happen to kids that are cyberbullied. They can get depressed, become anxious, or worse. Ask your child what her intention was. What were they hoping to accomplish? Ask your child what the other child did to prompt their behavior.  Ask your child how else she can manage her feelings towards other children in acceptable ways. Listening to your child and understanding their behavior and their motivations are key to addressing this issue. Working through intention and consequences can lead to better decision making in the future.

Photo of a group of people standing around a man holding the Top Workplaces award
Beech Acres, Jim Mason, Top Workplaces

Beech Acres Parenting Center Named Top Workplace In Cincinnati For Fifth Straight Year!

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Beech Acres Parenting Center is thrilled to be named one of Enquirer Media’s Top Workplaces in Cincinnati for a fifth consecutive year! Last year Beech Acres ranked 11th out of 40 companies and organizations recognized in the midsize category. This year we were pleased to be ranked 3rd in midsize organizations receiving special recognition at an event last week at Rhinegeist Brewery!  “Our employees live our values every day; values of Collaboration, Growth, Inclusion, Integrity, and Quality….. and in so doing, they create a workplace culture that earned us a well-deserved place on this prestigious list!” -Jim Mason, Beech Acres Parenting Center President & CEO At Beech Acres Parenting Center we focus not only on the strengths of parents and families but on the strengths of our own workforce. We’re a spirited team who supports each other and has a lot of fun while doing a lot of good. “I feel I am truly changing the lives of the families I work with. … The work environment is very positive and helps motivate my passion for the work I do.” -A Beech Acres Employee Beech Acres was also honored as a ‘Best in Show” award winner for Work/Life Flexibility. This award was based on strong employee sentiment that Beech Acres provides employees with the flexibility to maintain a balance between personal life and work life.  “They understand the importance of being a parent and taking care of yourself while doing a job of taking care of others.” -A Beech Acres Employee Our mission to inspire and equip today’s parents, families, and communities to raise capable, caring and contributing children can only be achieved by our amazing employees. We strive to provide the best environment possible for our employees and continue to improve where we can. Thank you to all of our wonderful employees!  “I have the flexibility I need to balance my work and personal life.” -A Beech Acres Employee Learn more about joining our team and search available positions at Beech Acres Parenting Center here.   

Photo of two parents and their child looking down at digital devices
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time, Social Media

Six Tips For Online Bliss

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Here are six quick tips to help you and your children get on the same page about screen time. Establish Some Simple Ground Rules Start by setting up some simple rules for everyone to follow. These can include no phones during meal time, no screens a half hour before bedtime, or no computer time until after homework is complete. These basic rules should reflect your family’s values and correspond with any established routines. Utilize your family’s strength of teamwork by working together to establish these rules. Doing so creates a sense of ownership and accountability in the process Choose Quality Over Quantity Rather than set a specific number of hours your children are allowed to be online, try starting a conversation about what they love and why they love it. Not only will this help you get to know your child better, but it can encourage their strengths of curiosity and love of learning by letting them spend time with something they really enjoy. If your child likes Harry Potter, for example, set them up on Pottermore or find some games related to the books. This way they are engaging with something they enjoy rather than spending mindless time scrolling through Netflix or YouTube.  Find Appropriate Time To Spend Online  Be intentional and mindful in setting aside time for your kids to be online. Sit down together as a family to develop, discuss, and create these rules. Discuss with them your daily schedules and routines and make sure screen time isn’t interfering with homework, family time, or extracurriculars. Remind them that screen time right before bed may interrupt their sleep. Reinforce the importance of completing their homework before jumping into a game of Fortnite. This will help them be more responsible about the time they choose to be online and develop their strength of self-regulation. Understand What Is and Is Not Appropriate Discussions about social media and screen time provide a great opportunity to reinforce your family’s values and to build on their strengths of judgment and social intelligence. While the internet is an awesome repository of all of the world’s collected knowledge and cat pics, it is also home to some pretty dark stuff. Empower your child to have fun and discover, but make sure they are equipped with the knowledge to avoid things like cyberbullying online predators, or malicious software. Utilize tools such as Google Safe Search Kids, a custom search engine that uses Google’s SafeSearch features along with additional filtering to block potentially harmful material. Establishing a relationship built on trust will let your child feel safe coming to you with any concerns that they have about inappropriate things they may see or encounter on the internet. Model Appropriate Screen Time Yourself Kids are observers of their world. Remember that. When you are having a conversation with your child make sure you are present and fully engaged. Put your phone on silent and put in on a table or desk. Being intentional about this will encourage your daughter or son to do the same. Make sure you comply with the ground rules you established. No phones at dinner or before bedtime. If your kids (or you) need a little help in this department check out the app Moment. It helps you track how much time you spend on your iPhone or iPad. You can set limits and even connect to and monitor your entire family’s usage. It can be eye-opening to see just how much time is being spent online. And most importantly, make sure to never text while driving!  Have Some Analogue Fun The internet has had a profound impact on our lives. It has made many things easier, more convenient, and even more fun. It allows us to connect and stay connected to friends, family, and the world around us. But, don’t forget the time before the iPhone, before AOL, or before that first PDA or dial-up connection. Approach some non-digital activities with zest. Read paperback books together. Take a walk, hike, or bike ride. Dust off the old board games and have a family game night. Check out our Parenting Resources page for more fun things to do. Value balance in your life between the internet and IRL. 

Green foster parent appreciation dinner graphic with colorful sparkles and the Beech Acres logo on it
Beech Acres, Foster Care, foster care month

Foster Care Appreciation Dinner May 18, 2018

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Last Friday evening Beech Acres Parenting Center hosted our annual Foster Care Appreciation Dinner. The event was held downtown at Nicholson’s Backstage Event Center. Parents were invited to dress up, enjoy a nice dinner, and be recognized for all of the amazing things they do. 120 parents attend the event and enjoyed delicious food, great conversation, and good community.  Community is an important part of all we do at Beech Acres. Our foster care team works hard to make genuine connections with and between our families creating a strong support network for them. The foster care dinner is an opportunity to recognize these families in a tangible way. Childcare is provided by volunteers at Parkside Christian Church parents can enjoy a nice stress-free evening focused on them. Every family receives an incredible gift basket thanks to the generosity of many individuals, organizations, and local businesses.  Thank you to all of the amazing parents who have opened their hearts and homes to these kids. We are grateful for the love, kindness, and leadership you demonstrate every single day.  Special thanks to the following individuals, groups, and organizations for their contribution to our gift baskets.  Lazer Craze Sky Zone urban salon Nikki Zellen Kim Morris Cincinnati Reds Heather Rothfuss McHarper Manor Rebecca Raby Burke Pete Mesrin Aida Stainback Mary Anne Kuhn Longhorn Steakhouse Cincinnati Bearcats Graeter’s Parkside Christian Church Funny Bone Painting with a Twist – West Coopers Hawk Winery Mariemont Moms Group Jane Destefano chick-fil-a Parkside volunteer group Houdini’s Room Escape Coney Island Waggoner’s Candy Scenic River Canoe Excursions Cincinnati Zoo Kali Thompson George Thompson Katie Taylor Anderson Hills Church Epiphany United Methodist Church New Business Development Team

Photo of a mother and son washing dishes at the sink
Beech Acres, Cincinnati Parenting Survey, Mental Health Month, Natural Strength Parenting™

Effective Strategies For Parenting During Therapy

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Raising kids is extremely fulfilling. Parents told us so in a recent survey. It can also be very challenging (they told us that too!) Add in the complexities of a mental health diagnosis and many parents wonder how to deal with the “day to day” parenting challenges while their son or daughter is in therapy.  The first thing to remember is a mental health diagnosis is just like a physical diagnosis. Your kid is still your kid! If your daughter has a sprained ankle you’d take her to a physical therapist but then she still has to exercise and rehab at home to get better. The same rules apply to mental health. Use the tools you receive in therapy to connect with your child.  “You don’t have to change your whole parenting strategy, but there may be some techniques to build their self-worth, increase their self-value and improve their mood,” Beech Acres Parenting Center Therapy Supervisor Rachel Eccles advises. “Every child is an individual. You have to be intentional about using their strengths to create a system that works for the family.” Building on a child’s strengths is a key part of the approach to helping families at Beech Acres Parenting Center. Natural Strength Parenting™, our unique strengths-based approach, allow our therapists to focus on building up children. The focus is not “what’s wrong with the child” it’s “what happened to the child.” “You get farther faster when starting with something that someone is good at,” Rachel said. “You start with what they can do.”  As a modern parenting center, Beech Acres believes that the best way to help kids is through their parents. We encourage parents to be actively involved in their child’s therapy and empower them with the tools to encourage success at home. “We like to find out about our parents. Find out their strengths, discover their stressors, and understand what their life is like,” Rachel said. “We want to meet parents where they are.” “What do I do when…” is a huge concern for most parents. “What do I do when my child is having an outburst?” “What do I do when my child is withdrawing?” “What do I do when my child is angry?” Your mental health providers are here to help you answer those questions.  Knowing your child’s strengths as well as your own helps establish a baseline for your parenting style. “Understanding strengths is important because it builds on the positive,” Rachel said. You can discover your families unique character strengths by completing the VIA Character Strengths Survey. VIA identifies 24 character strengths and classifies them into six categories: Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence.  Once you’ve identified your family’s strengths you can begin to be intentional in your interactions with your child. If your son is struggling with anxiety and has a strong love of learning you can set an intention to read together, go to the library, or complete a fun science activity. If your daughter is coping with depression and has a keen appreciation of beauty and excellence you can intentionally spend some time together outdoors or plan a hike together. These moments together can reinforce techniques from their therapy and amplify positivity in your relationship. Being present in the moment and fully engaged with your child is also important. “From the beginning, we encourage mindfulness,” Rachel said. “Being in the moment with your child and having fun is so important and so helpful.” Parents of younger children are encouraged to take time to play with their child during therapy. Once they see the benefits of being in the moment with their child they are encouraged to incorporate these mindful moments at home. “Just play with your child 5 minutes a day and really appreciate that time together,” Rachel says.  Parenting in a rapidly changing world can be a challenge. While these challenges may seem more pronounced after your child receives a mental health diagnosis, fortunately, there are support mechanisms in place to help you be the best parent you can be. Focusing on your child’s strengths, being intentional with your parenting, and being mindful about the time you spend with them will make a big difference.  You can learn more about Natural Strength Parenting™ and find a link to take the VIA survey on our website.

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