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Natural Strength Parenting™

Photo of a child's hand writing I Am Being Bullied on a notepad
Beech Acres, Bullying, Natural Strength Parenting™

Is My Child Being Bullied? Here’s How You Can Identify Potential Signs Of Bullying

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Sometimes it may not be obvious that your child is being bullied and if they are, they may not be ready to tell you about it. That’s OK. Here are a few things you can look for that may indicate your child is being bullied along with some quick tips based on Natural Strength Parenting™. Torn or Ripped Clothing One sign that your child may be experiencing physical bullying is torn or ripped clothing. If your child comes home from school with a tear in their favorite hoodie or ripped jeans be sure to ask what happened. This is a good way to start the conversation and to let them know you care. NSP™ Tip: Being fully present and engaged in these conversations may help your child feel more comfortable and thus more likely to open up to you. Damaged Property If your daughter or son bring any of their personal items home from school damaged, it could be a sign they are being bullied. Broken tablets or laptops, damaged backpacks, ripped folders or paper and shattered or missing cell phones can all indicate something is wrong. Make sure you ask questions, especially if you notice multiple or repeated damage to personal items. You can allow them the opportunity to discuss what is happening and start to move forward by asking a few simple questions. “I notice your backpack is looking a little beat up. I know you love that backpack, is there anything you’d like to discuss before dinner?” NSP™ Tip: Providing the opportunity to clear something up can encourage your child to discuss the issue and start to move forward. Unexplained Cuts, Bruises, and Scratches It is important to be aware of any physical injuries your child comes home with. The occasional skinned knee or elbow is to be expected, but any physical symptoms should be addressed right away. When asking what happened, look for details and make sure to offer reassurance. If your child is being harmed physically it is a very serious manner and may be difficult for them to bring up with you. NSP™ Tip: If your child is hurt try a quiet, mindful moment with them to calm them down. Even just a few slow, deep breaths can help quiet their mind and have a calming effect. Changes in Attitude or Behavior Watch for changes in attitude towards school, sports, or other activities. Difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite or other noticeable changes in their behavior can all be signs that something is wrong. If your child is being bullied and they do not know how to deal with it, it can affect their mood. Be aware of any changes that you notice and take the opportunity to sit down and talk with them. Sometimes just taking time to ask the right questions can make a big difference. NSP™ Tip: Take a moment to recognize or celebrate a good grade on a test, a strong effort in a game, or a kind act you’ve seen them do recently. Offering affirmation to your daughter or son can help them focus on something positive.

White graphic with a maroon icon of three people with hearts for bodies and "Social Intelligence (Friendship)" written below it
Back To School, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Developing the Strength of Social Intelligence

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By Guest Blogger Jaimi Cabrera, Director of New Business Development at Beech Acres Parenting Center While preparing for Back to School with my daughter for the first time, as she begins Kindergarten in a few days, I have Beech Acres Parenting Center unique approach to parenting on my mind, Natural Strength Parenting™ and the specific tools of Intentional, Strength-Based and Mindful that may be helpful. Specifically, I am thinking Strength-Based and the Character Strength of Social Intelligence(Friendship) and how important that this strength is to help our daughter form healthy relationships with the other children in her classroom.  Honestly, no matter what age your child is, this strength is important and can often be overlooked……thinking that other strengths or academic areas were more important. Research shows that Social Intelligence is one of the early emerging strengths that can be formed during early childhood.  It is very important for parents and other adults in a child’s life to help teach them this strength.  Our children need help and support to learn how to make friends and keep friends.  Children who use their strength of Social Intelligence are friendlier and have the skills to form healthy, age-appropriate relationships.  For example, they have the skills to introduce their self to “new” friends and engage in appropriate conversations with other children on the playground or during lunchtime without prompting.   These children have good interpersonal skills and are able to notice other children who are feeling sad or scared and are able to provide a comforting smile or invite them to join them at their table at lunch or a game at recess. The strength of Social Intelligence can help decrease the likelihood of bullying or other negative peer behaviors.  Social Intelligence can help create a positive school culture and community where all “children” are welcome and able to utilize their own strengths.  The key to instilling Social Intelligence in our children is to model the strength for them and give them opportunities to practice the strength at home and other social opportunities. One way to help your child practice using their strength of Social Intelligence is to first give them the definition; Getting along with others, being a friend those can count on.  Then provide the opportunity for your child to practice these skills at home with you and your family is a great place to start.  When you see them using this Strength in action, spot it by saying “Hannah, thank you for being such a nice friend, and using your strength of Social Intelligence, by asking your sister to play Candy Land.” Parenting is a journey and no one is perfect at it!  As you prepare for the transition Back to School, I invite you to practice the strength of Social Intelligence with your child……just as I will this week and throughout the year with my daughter!  

Photo of a family bill of rights document
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™

Family Bill of Rights

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Today is Constitution Day, a celebration of the ratification of the Constitution of the United States of America. On this day in 1787, all of the delegates of the constitutional congress met for the final time to sign the Constitution. While the Bill of Rights would not come for a few years after you can have fun with your family by downloading and completing a Family Bill of Rights. What is most important to your family? How do the members of your family expect to be treated and how should they treat one another? What would your family’s Constitution say? Discuss your family’s values and lean into your family’s strengths when coming up with your unique Bill of Rights. Download your form and get started here. When your finished be sure to snap a photo and share on our Facebook page!

Photo of five kids holding various white and red drawings of faces
Back To School, Bullying, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Making Friends Can Be Difficult At Any Age. Help Your Child Strengthen Their Social Skills

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Developing strong social skills is critical to your child’s success in school. It can also be very challenging during the first few weeks of a new school year. New classrooms, different teachers, and new friends can ramp up the anxiety this fall. There are many different ways that you might notice your child is struggling with their social skills. Recognize your child is struggling. During the first few weeks of school, things can be very hectic at home. Take time to talk to your kids and look for clues. They may tell you they are having trouble making friends, spending recess or lunchtime alone, or struggling to get organized with their new classes. For intellectually gifted children, it may be that they are introverted socially or prefer to be around older children or adults. Talk to them about their love of learning and curiosity. Encourage them to talk to other kids that may have similar interests. Shefali Tsabary, the author of The Conscious Parent, asks us to be mindful of what our unconscious agenda is for our child and recognize that it may be different from our child’s agenda. Out of love and concern, we ‘want what’s best’ for our child. Because of this, we want them to have the same or better skills that we have that have been helpful to us in life. Since every child is unique, their personality may not need or want the same thing. Talk to your child and get on the same page about their goals for the year. Then you can lean into their strengths to help them develop their own natural skill set Normalize the situation. When we are struggling socially or having trouble fitting in, we often believe that we are alone or that we are the only one experiencing what we are feeling. In development, this is called “Imaginary Audience”. Teenagers believe that they are the only ones in the world that are struggling with something. Of course, that is not the case. Empathize with them and let them know they are not alone. Show compassion. Tell them, “It must be challenging to be experiencing that…”Explain that other teens are struggling with their own issues and may think they are also alone. Share your own experiences with them. Encourage them to look at their situation from a variety of different viewpoints by helping them develop their strength of perspective. Model engaging ways to connect. You may feel like you want to come up with solutions for them. Instead, partner with them. They are the ones having different experiences every day; finding ways to partner with them and offer encouragement is a healthy approach. Explain to them scenarios you have dealt with at work. “It was not easy initializing the conversation with a co-worker this week, but I ended up getting helpful information from them I would not have otherwise known”. Be curious with them. Ask them, “What would you find most helpful?”  “If you felt more confident in those skills, how might your day be different?” “One of your strengths is……how might you use that to help in this situation?” Another way to support your child’s growth in this area is to discover with them things they enjoy doing. Getting them involved in activities outside of school can be a great way for your kids to expand on their skills and connect with more and different people than they do at school. Adjusting socially at school is challenging for kids of any age. Equipping them with the skills they need by identifying and developing their strengths can help ease challenging social issues and help them have a successful school year.    

Photo of a mother holding books and looking annoyed at her unwilling child
Back To School, Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™

From The Pool To Back To School, Get Your Family Back To A Routine

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Back to School, Back to Routine After spending the summer lounging by the pool, you’re starting to dread getting back in that drop-off line at school. That’s right; it’s time to start thinking about going back to school. Here are some ideas to make the back-to-school transition a little less bumpy. If you need additional support this year, why not connect with a Parent Connext® parenting specialist?  Use Mindfulness To Calm Those Back to School Jitters Your kids probably realized that school is about to begin when that trip to get some ice cream turned into an all-day shopping trip for new school shoes. Back to school shopping can trigger anxiety in kids who are already not looking forward to heading back to the classroom. You may also notice them behaving differently as the start of school draws nearer. They may be more agitated than usual when you ask them to stop playing Fornite and finish their summer reading assignments. While you may be getting agitated yourself, use this as an opportunity to help your child grow into a resourceful and confident student. Take your child’s feelings seriously. Normalize uncertainty and anxiety, so they do not feel alone.  You do not want them to struggle with whatever it is they are feeling and thinking their feelings are not valid. Experiment with different mindful activities to help them relax. Have them put down their smartphone and try a body scan with them. This activity can help them identify where they are noticing anxious feelings in their bodies. Have them get off the couch and head outside, after all; breathing exercises can easily be done anywhere and anytime. The fresh air will do them good. Make sure they put their electronics away at least an hour before bedtime. Instead, try practicing some simple yoga moves before going to bed to help them feel less anxious. Be Playfully Curious During Your Morning Routine If your morning routine during the summer has included sleeping in until noon and Pop-Tarts for breakfast, getting back into your school routine can be a bit unsettling for the whole family. Talk with your kids in advance about what school mornings will look like. Get curious with them about what reminders they will need to remember to brush their teeth, remember their homework, and wear matching socks. Be creative with them! Create fun posters, notes for their lunchbox, or handmade calendars. A little preparation and some teamwork can ensure that not every morning involves a last minute run through the Starbucks drive-thru for breakfast. Morning can be a great time for everyone to set one intention for the day and will provide a great way to check in later in the evening. Strength Spotting Can Help With Homework Let’s face it; your kids are likely more interested in Snapchatting with their friends after school than doing their homework. Knowing your child’s temperament and what they need to focus on can help you influence your child’s success. For example, do they need quiet? Do they work better with others around? Do you need to hide the remote so they can focus? How do they need you to be present? How long can they sit before they get distracted by their phone? Do they need shorter breaks more often, or can they sit still and get it done in one stretch? A great way to offer encouragement is to strength-spot them. “Your creativity helps you with your writing. I am proud to see you are using it to do such a great job on your research paper”. If your kids are quick to grab for Doritos or juice boxes after school, make sure to have some healthy snacks on hand to keep their energy level up. Be Intentional During Your Evening Routine A consistent evening routine is just as important as your morning routines. Be intentional in winding down so your children can ease into the transition of going to sleep. Try to complete preparations for the next day (picking out clothes, getting their backpack ready, preparing and packing their lunch) as early as possible. It’s important to make time for the things that help them to relax. Rather than binging on Netflix, try a mindful activity like the body scan, deep breathing or even a warm calming soak in the tub. Evenings are a great time to read together to encourage curiosity and a love of learning. Parents that are fully present for this part of their child’s day can more easily wind down from their day as well. Sometimes snuggling is all children need to go from their day to a good night’s sleep. Download our back-to-school quick tips today!

Photo of a child preparing to go back to school as her mom packs her backpack
Back To School, Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents

Mentally Prepare Yourself and Your Family To Head Back To School With Natural Strength Parenting™

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Believe it or not, it’s already time to start preparing your family to head back to school. Back to school season can be incredibly stressful for kids and parents alike. Stress and anxiety begin to mount as fun summer days fade away and new class schedules, homework, practices, and games start to fill your calendar. An abrupt change in routine can be challenging. Fortunately, you still have some time to utilize Natural Strength Parenting™ to mentally prepare your family before that first chilly morning at the bus stop. State an Intention Start by setting an intention with your child for the new school year. Ask, “what can you do to make this year your best yet?” It may be as simple as building independence to get ready on their own in the morning or something more aspirational like balancing academic achievement and extracurricular activities by developing and using time management skills effectively. Whatever the intention work closely with them to develop the skills, provide encouragement, and celebrate with them when they are successful. Critical to their success is the specifics of the intention they set. Get curious with them and ask “What do you need from me to succeed?” Then make sure to build in accountability. “What steps will you take to succeed?” “How will you know if the intention you set is working? How will your experience at school be better?”    When your child sets an intention, with your support and encouragement, they will be focused and more confident as they move into the new school year. Build On Their Strengths Change can definitely be a trigger. Consider how you felt your first day at a job or on a new team at work. It’s ok to acknowledge your child’s fear and anxiety and offer the idea that these feelings subside as you become familiar with what was once ‘new’. You may help them to remember a time when this has happened for them in the past and how it felt better over time. This is a great time to focus on your child’s innate strengths and which of those they may have used to manage a new situation in the past. Every person has 24 character strengths inside them. You can discover your family’s strengths by taking the VIA Character Strengths Survey located on the bottom of this page. Back to school time is a great opportunity to lean into your child’s strengths of Bravery, Love of Learning, Leadership, and Curiosity. “It’s very brave of you to sign up for a new club this year.” “I am excited that you used your Love of Learning to try an honors class this year.” Focusing on your child’s strengths rather than trying to “fix” something helps them feel valued. Take a Mindful Moment Sometimes, despite your best intentions your kid is going to be anxious about going back to school. This is your chance to be fully engaged with them in the moment. Actively listen to their concerns and let them know you are listening. “I hear that you are worried about your first day of school, but you smiled when you talked about seeing your friends again?” Offer them a different way to envision the first day of school. “What would it look like if you spotted a friend and were able to walk in together on the first day?” If necessary take a moment just to breathe with them. These calming moments can deepen your relationship and have a positive effect on their mental health heading into the chaos of back to school. Take Time For Yourself Remember this time of year is just as stressful for you as it is for your kids. Back to school shopping, coordinating carpools, rearranging schedules, and doing your regular everyday responsibilities can be overwhelming. Set an intention for yourself to be prepared and ready to help your kids succeed (or at least appear to be prepared!). Lean into your own strengths of Love, Fairness, Judgment, Leadership, and Perseverance. Your kids are going to be looking to you for guidance and your tone sets the tone for the family. Take a moment for yourself. Sit outside and take a moment to appreciate the beauty of these final summer days. Back to school time can be chaotic but it doesn’t have to adversely affect your family’s mental health. Setting a clear intention for your kids, discovering and building upon their strengths, and taking meaningful time to be present and engage with them will go a long way in relieving some of the stress of this busy time of the year.  

Photo of a book called The Yes Brain
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™

The Yes Brain Book Review

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Guest blogger, Nikki Zellen, Director of Marketing Beech Acres Parenting Center “There’s so much I want for my kids: happiness, emotional strength, academic success, social skills, a strong sense of self, and more.  It’s hard to know where to even start. What characteristics are important to focus on to help them live happy, meaningful lives?”  This is the opening line of The Yes Brain by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. How do you NOT keep reading? Who doesn’t want those things? Heard in the Hallways The Yes Brain was mentioned by a few of our parenting specialists after they had met Dr. Siegel at a recent conference in California. As a working mom, but by no means an expert on parenting, my ears perked up. The Yes Brain is: Recommended by our team of parenting experts Aligned with Beech Acres Parenting Center’s Natural Strength Parenting™ Approachable & readable Written for parents, but includes 2 pages within each section with comics to share with kids; putting you LITERALLY on the same page as your child. Under 200 pages & a sunny, hopeful jacket cover (I know, I know… don’t judge a book by its cover.) What Did I Learn The Yes Brain combines brain science with realistic scenarios and simple tools to start to implement with your family. The four sections:  Balance, Resiliency, Insightful & Empathetic are like moons orbiting Natural Strength Parenting™; similar but bring their own spin to parenting. Few standouts included the consequences of overscheduling… which can happen so fast each season and understanding the power of play & boredom. My son and I are practicing the ‘power of the pause’ and feeling when we are moving from the green zone to the red zone. I emphasize practicing because right now we are raising our voices and saying ‘I’M PAUSING.’ And walking away to take a few deep breaths before moving forward.  And I loved the modeling ideas to teach empathy… so important and so easy to forget!  We will be making homemade cards vs. visiting Hallmark for my Mom’s upcoming birthday. Who knew that simple task teaches empathy?  (Aside from Dr. Siegel and Beech Acres Parenting Specialists.) Final thoughts I highly recommend The Yes Brain! I am always excited to hear things in the hallways at work that can make me a better parent and this was a great one. As always, if you don’t have time to sit down and focus on a book… we are right in your neighborhood. Schedule a parent coaching session to learn Natural Strength Parenting™. We believe in the framework so much, the first session is free! Get started by completing the VIA Character Strength Survey and discovering your top strengths as well as your child’s today!  

Photo of a group of young children on their phones
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time

Messenger Kids. Is My Kid Ready For Facebook Messenger?

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Late last year, Facebook, Inc. rolled out a new messaging platform aimed at children ages 4-13. Messenger Kids is available for iOS and Android and promises safer video calls and texting for kids. Facebook describes the app as such: “Messenger Kids is a free video calling and messaging app designed for kids to connect with close friends and family from their tablet or smartphone. Kids can only connect with parent-approved contacts, which creates a more controlled environment. Group or one-on-one video calls with loved ones are more fun with interactive masks, reactions, and sound effects.” Unlike other messaging apps, Messenger Kids requires authentication with a parent’s Facebook account giving parents full control over the app. You have control of the app’s contacts so you can decide who you allow your children to message with. Also, messages have permanence meaning they do not disappear after a period of time like Snapchat. Messenger Kids promises ease of use and fun ways for kids to interact through photos, videos, and gifs. The app does not employ ads, nor does it offer in-app purchases. The promise of security and the high level of parental controls may be a good way to ease your child into messaging. However, with any interactions, it is important to talk to your children about the technology, establish clear rules and boundaries and also monitor their online interactions. Even with the high level of controls offered to parents, there is no way to control the actual content being transmitted. Bullying and sharing of inappropriate content are still possible through the app, though Facebook allows kids to block other users and report online bullying. Facebook seems committed to the idea of this app despite recent problems they have had with online privacy. They have recently pushed an update to the app that included a new “sleep mode”. This setting allows parents to set an off time in the app after which their children can no longer interact with their friends and family online. If you’re an active Facebook user and have tech-savvy kids looking for ways to interact with their friends online, Messenger Kids might be a good place to start. Remember to talk to them about online safety, and make sure they feel comfortable telling you about anything inappropriate they may encounter when online. Common Sense Media offers a review of Messenger Kids focusing on items that matter most to parents as well some other tips for talking to your kids about online safety. For more information on Messenger Kids from Facebook visit https://messengerkids.com

Photo of a family at the table for dinner time while they are all on digital devices
Cincinnati Parenting Survey, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time, Social Media

Parenting In The Digital Age

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Parenting in the digital age has added a significant layer of complexity to an already challenging job. With everyone’s heads buried in a screen all day, it can seem impossible to spend meaningful moments together as a family. Together, let’s tackle some of the challenges related specifically to parenting in the digital age. Screen time, social media, and cyberbullying are all important topics that today’s parents are faced with. While many parents fall back on the routines and techniques their parents used, these digital scenarios are new and unique to this generation of parents.  In today’s rapidly changing world it can be difficult to stay current with reliable, effective information on parenting. We may not have all of the answers, but we will try to help you navigate these new modern parenting challenges. Bookmark our blog, connect with us on social media, and sign up for our parenting newsletter for fresh perspectives from our parenting experts based on Natural Strength Parenting™, our unique, strengths-based approach to raising kids.  Check out these posts for more resources on parenting in the digital age. Parenting In The Digital Age Help! My Kid Might Be a Cyberbully! Apple and Google Address Concerns Over Screen Time Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity  Six Tips To Online Bliss But Mom! All Of My Friends Are On Snapchat!

Photo of a mother and son washing dishes at the sink
Beech Acres, Cincinnati Parenting Survey, Mental Health Month, Natural Strength Parenting™

Effective Strategies For Parenting During Therapy

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Raising kids is extremely fulfilling. Parents told us so in a recent survey. It can also be very challenging (they told us that too!) Add in the complexities of a mental health diagnosis and many parents wonder how to deal with the “day to day” parenting challenges while their son or daughter is in therapy.  The first thing to remember is a mental health diagnosis is just like a physical diagnosis. Your kid is still your kid! If your daughter has a sprained ankle you’d take her to a physical therapist but then she still has to exercise and rehab at home to get better. The same rules apply to mental health. Use the tools you receive in therapy to connect with your child.  “You don’t have to change your whole parenting strategy, but there may be some techniques to build their self-worth, increase their self-value and improve their mood,” Beech Acres Parenting Center Therapy Supervisor Rachel Eccles advises. “Every child is an individual. You have to be intentional about using their strengths to create a system that works for the family.” Building on a child’s strengths is a key part of the approach to helping families at Beech Acres Parenting Center. Natural Strength Parenting™, our unique strengths-based approach, allow our therapists to focus on building up children. The focus is not “what’s wrong with the child” it’s “what happened to the child.” “You get farther faster when starting with something that someone is good at,” Rachel said. “You start with what they can do.”  As a modern parenting center, Beech Acres believes that the best way to help kids is through their parents. We encourage parents to be actively involved in their child’s therapy and empower them with the tools to encourage success at home. “We like to find out about our parents. Find out their strengths, discover their stressors, and understand what their life is like,” Rachel said. “We want to meet parents where they are.” “What do I do when…” is a huge concern for most parents. “What do I do when my child is having an outburst?” “What do I do when my child is withdrawing?” “What do I do when my child is angry?” Your mental health providers are here to help you answer those questions.  Knowing your child’s strengths as well as your own helps establish a baseline for your parenting style. “Understanding strengths is important because it builds on the positive,” Rachel said. You can discover your families unique character strengths by completing the VIA Character Strengths Survey. VIA identifies 24 character strengths and classifies them into six categories: Wisdom, Courage, Humanity, Justice, Temperance, and Transcendence.  Once you’ve identified your family’s strengths you can begin to be intentional in your interactions with your child. If your son is struggling with anxiety and has a strong love of learning you can set an intention to read together, go to the library, or complete a fun science activity. If your daughter is coping with depression and has a keen appreciation of beauty and excellence you can intentionally spend some time together outdoors or plan a hike together. These moments together can reinforce techniques from their therapy and amplify positivity in your relationship. Being present in the moment and fully engaged with your child is also important. “From the beginning, we encourage mindfulness,” Rachel said. “Being in the moment with your child and having fun is so important and so helpful.” Parents of younger children are encouraged to take time to play with their child during therapy. Once they see the benefits of being in the moment with their child they are encouraged to incorporate these mindful moments at home. “Just play with your child 5 minutes a day and really appreciate that time together,” Rachel says.  Parenting in a rapidly changing world can be a challenge. While these challenges may seem more pronounced after your child receives a mental health diagnosis, fortunately, there are support mechanisms in place to help you be the best parent you can be. Focusing on your child’s strengths, being intentional with your parenting, and being mindful about the time you spend with them will make a big difference.  You can learn more about Natural Strength Parenting™ and find a link to take the VIA survey on our website.

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