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Beech Acres

Parents

Jim Mason, Mental Health, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parent Connext™, Parents, Strengths

Parents Embracing Children’s Mental Health, Beech Acres Study Indicates

A new, national Children’s Mental Health Awareness Study from Beech Acres Parenting Center offers insights into the evolving perceptions and practices of parents regarding the mental health of their children. The study shows that acceptance of mental health as a key factor of overall health is becoming increasingly mainstream among parents. Among the most compelling results of the study is the dramatic generational change in parents’ view of mental health. While 61% of parents said they had no discussion of mental health when they were kids, only 13% of them do not discuss it now as parents. “Many children and families live with mental health concerns or even a mental illness, so it’s extremely encouraging that we are bringing down the veil of stigma for parents on this topic,” said Jim Mason, President, and CEO of Beech Acres Parenting Center. “Parents who are actively engaged with their children’s mental health and well-being can have a huge positive impact, and we’ve seen that to be true over many generations at Beech Acres.” Hope for Parents This changing attitude toward mental health is further reflected by a finding from the study that 91% of parents who have not had to seek treatment for their child would expect to be involved in their child’s mental health treatment, instead of taking a hands-off approach. Even before seeking treatment, 41% of parents in the study said they actively work to support their children’s mental health on a regular basis. Parents are interested in hearing about mental health proactively from sources they trust. About 2/3 of parents who participated in the study think mental health resources should be proactively shared by a child’s school. The same number of parents would like to receive mental health resources from their pediatrician during a well-child visit. “Proactively addressing children’s mental health in a setting in which other needs are already being met has been a successful strategy of ours for several years now through our Parent Connext™ program,” Mason said. “It’s encouraging that parents are validating this approach.” Parent Connext™ meets parents where they are by placing parenting specialists onsite in pediatric care practices. By providing prompt, practical support, we help build parents’ capacity to provide safe and nurturing environments for their children. Mental Health Education As more people realize the importance of mental health, education is increasingly necessary to set aside misconceptions about it. “There is no substitute for personalized care from a mental health professional to help your family address mental health questions,” Mason said. “Misperceptions about mental health stop some families from accessing the best possible care for their children. By educating and supporting parents, Beech Acres reduces fears and increases parents’ confidence in providing their children with whatever mental health care they may need.” The study also discovered other areas of mental health that need clarification. For example, the top three concerns of parents who have never had to seek treatment for their children are Not understanding their child’s condition (42%), Fear of the unknown (42%) and Not knowing where to go for help (38%). Solutions In many cases, the answers to mental health treatment questions may be more attainable than we realize. The study indicated that eight in 10 parents believe there is a strong or moderate connection between building on a child’s strengths and improving their mental health. At Beech Acres, building on a child’s innate strengths is a pillar for its Natural Strength Parenting™ framework. Natural Strength Parenting™ is a distinct approach to parenting that integrates concepts of intentionality and mindfulness to help parents better see and encourage their children’s unique, innate strengths. Beech Acres Parenting Center is the first organization anywhere to recognize the power of combining intentionality, mindfulness, and strengths into one foundational approach to parenting. Sharon James, Senior Parent Educator at Beech Acres Parenting Center, said the Natural Strength Parenting™ approach can give parents easy steps to support their children’s mental health. “For example, listen to them with curiosity to spot a strength they have, and make a point to promote that strength to build their confidence and self-esteem,” James said. “This kind of intentional act of support can make a huge, positive impact in the lives of children.” Methodology Information from the Children’s Mental Health Awareness Study is based on a 2018 survey of 798 parents nationwide who have children aged 18 and under that lived with them in their homes.

Photo of parents and their two children sitting on a sofa
Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents

Discussing Job Loss, Unemployment or Disruption in Employment With Your Children

A parent’s job loss or any significant change or disruption to your employment status can be difficult on the entire family. Especially your children. Your children know when something’s wrong. They are sensitive to changes at home, and it can be stressful for them. If you’re a parent facing an employment gap or disruption, here are some tips to talk to your kids about the situation. First, take some time to collect your thoughts and manage your own emotions about the change in your employment status; especially If the disruption was sudden or unexpected. These changes can be stressful and your children will certainly pick up on your emotions. Take a mindful moment to calm your mind before talking with them. A simple breathing exercise, a quick walk around the block, or a moment to write down some of your thoughts can help you clear your head and organize your thoughts all while utilizing your strengths of love and perspective. When you do talk to your children, be honest with them about the situation. Let them know about the change as soon as you can and answer any questions they may have. Allow them to guide the conversation. Ask them what it is they would like to know about the situation. They will be curious about the situation and may have questions you cannot answer or may not be ready to. Keep your answers age appropriate and lean into your family’s values. Try and keep the conversation brief, but meaningful and be sure to note their reactions. Set an intention to follow up again in a few days. Explain how the situation may affect the family. A change in employment will be accompanied by changes in your family’s routine. You’ll quickly discover that these changes can be stressful for your children and for you! Explain that you may be home more often, but will be busy seeking new opportunities and may need to shift your schedule with little notice to network or go to an interview. Discuss possible lifestyle changes as well. This is an opportunity to develop your family’s strength of perseverance. A night out at the movies may become a night at home watching an old favorite DVD or Blu-Ray. Dinner out may turn into your kids helping prepare their favorite meals at home.  If your children are old enough you can teach them about the strength of prudence by discussing finances and the economic struggles that may accompany a prolonged period of unemployment. Go, Team! Now that you have your family together and are talking about this situation, what’s next? Develop a plan for moving forward. Maybe Dad never had the chance to drive the kids to school, or Mom missed one too many games or dance recitals because she was working late. Plan a new routine around your new situation. Use your strength of creativity to maximize any extra time you have together as a family. Involving your children in the plans will help them feel connected and may mitigate some of the stress they are feeling. Focus on their strengths of curiosity and love of learning by allowing them to take the lead on planning fun family activities. Take this time to imagine what the rest of this year could look like if you genuinely connect with your family by focusing on everyone’s strengths, taking time for mindfulness and being more intentional with the time you have together. Parent Strong. Parent Mindfully. Parent Purposefully. A period of unemployment can be a tough time for your family. Now more than ever, it is important to focus on your family’s strengths, be intentional with your parenting, and take time for mindfulness. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Natural Strength Parenting™ Coaching which can help you navigate this and many other parenting challenges. Your first session is free. Use this session to help you develop strategies for discussing this or other parenting challenges with your kids. 

Graphic image of the Strength Spotting Certficate with a photo of male & female superheroes standing beside each other in the left corner
Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Why not start the year by setting an intention to spot your child’s strengths? Everyone has their own individual unique strengths inside them (24 to be exact!). This year set an intention to spot your kid’s strengths and let them know when you see them using them. This strengths-based approach helps your child build resilience and be more confident. Start by learning more about the 24 character strengths by completing the VIA Character Strengths Survey with your family. Once you know your child’s strengths, take the time to be aware of those strengths and point them out every time you see your child using them. Download and print our Strength Spotting Certificate as an easy way to recognize and celebrate your child’s strengths. Want to learn more about a strengths-based approach to parenting? Visit our website to learn more about Natural Strength Parenting, our unique approach to parenting, or schedule a Natural Strength Parenting™ Coaching session with a Child Development Expert today.

Photo of one kid smiling with their arms in the air and another kid upset with their head down
Beech Acres, Bullying, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents

How You Can Help Your Highly Sensitive Child Manage the Strong Personalities of Others

NEW! We offer a wide range of FREE text-based parenting courses. Get Natural Strength Parenting™ delivered straight to your phone. Get started today. Interacting with Children with Strong Personalities Playing on a team or interacting with a group of kids with strong personalities can be difficult and stressful for children of all ages. It can be particularly tricky for a highly sensitive child. Highly sensitive children may demonstrate some of these qualities: incredibly perceptive very inquisitive prefers quiet play over play with others often labeled ‘shy’ or ‘highly emotional’ quick to react feels their feelings deeply, especially rejection and criticism of others or of others being mistreated. becomes overwhelmed easily by new situations, crowds or noise has difficulty not thinking about others in need passionate about understanding the meaning of something Nearly one-quarter of children experience some or all of these symptoms. Highly Sensitive Children May Internalize Their Feelings A highly sensitive child internalizes and experiences feelings with more intensity, so what might bounce off of a less sensitive child can be very difficult for a highly sensitive child to let go or take less seriously. Their rich emotional lives can often create a challenge in that they can misinterpret the behaviors of others, especially those that have strong personalities, and display behaviors such as being loud, demonstrative, teasing, or wanting to be in charge. What Can Parents Do When a child reports to their parent that someone has mistreated them and he or she reports their reaction and feelings strongly, it is important to ask questions about the situation before jumping to the conclusion that bullying has taken place. While bullying always needs to be treated seriously by a parent or caregiver, understanding your child’s perspective of what happened is especially important for a child that takes everything to heart. You may start a conversation with: “You really felt bad that someone said things about your science project after you worked so hard on it. Laughing at your work really hurt”.  “It sounds like they were not acting in a way that you felt was kind. Can you share what happened?”  You might also inquire whether your child sees this same behavior with others and how they respond. Ask them, “How do your friends respond when others speak to them this way?” This can help them understand other children better. Parents find that acceptance, being nonjudgmental, and focusing on what their child does well and the gifts he or she brings as a result of being a highly sensitive child can create a stronger bond between parent-child and build confidence. It will also really help the child to manage difficult behaviors he or she encounters at school. You can use Natural Strength Parenting™ to help your child navigate these situations. STRENGTH SPOTTING Highly sensitive children need to see their sensitivity as a strength to feel empowered and recognize the positives of being sensitive such as being insightful, empathetic, and creative. Since many highly sensitive children are labeled negatively, this is especially important to their well-being. It is also an important reminder to parents as they manage their concerns and frustration with their ‘emotionally charged’ child. BE MINDFUL Learn their specific triggers and co-create solutions with them to manage those big emotions. Mindful techniques like breathing may help them to feel less overwhelmed and reactive. Tapping into their strength of creativity, you may visualize with them a different way of responding to stronger personalities and how different that can feel. Doing a mindful body scan to talk about where they are feeling their emotions or imagining their first reaction to floating away on a cloud can also be helpful. BE INTENTIONAL The more your child can visualize a different response to something that is being said that they do not, the greater the chance they will feel empowered and less at the whim of others. Work together to create a “slogan” or positive phrase for the week and say it together each morning before school. By gaining insight into your child’s experience of others, you are helping them navigate the strong personalities they will encounter throughout their lives. Consider the boisterous co-worker in every meeting or the vocal parent on the PTA. With Natural Strength Parenting™, highly sensitive children can develop powerful relationship skills and discover the good in how they perceive their world. Ready to go further? Sign up to get connected with a Parenting Specialist today! 

Photo of a child preparing to go back to school as her mom packs her backpack
Back To School, Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents

Mentally Prepare Yourself and Your Family To Head Back To School With Natural Strength Parenting™

Believe it or not, it’s already time to start preparing your family to head back to school. Back to school season can be incredibly stressful for kids and parents alike. Stress and anxiety begin to mount as fun summer days fade away and new class schedules, homework, practices, and games start to fill your calendar. An abrupt change in routine can be challenging. Fortunately, you still have some time to utilize Natural Strength Parenting™ to mentally prepare your family before that first chilly morning at the bus stop. State an Intention Start by setting an intention with your child for the new school year. Ask, “what can you do to make this year your best yet?” It may be as simple as building independence to get ready on their own in the morning or something more aspirational like balancing academic achievement and extracurricular activities by developing and using time management skills effectively. Whatever the intention work closely with them to develop the skills, provide encouragement, and celebrate with them when they are successful. Critical to their success is the specifics of the intention they set. Get curious with them and ask “What do you need from me to succeed?” Then make sure to build in accountability. “What steps will you take to succeed?” “How will you know if the intention you set is working? How will your experience at school be better?”    When your child sets an intention, with your support and encouragement, they will be focused and more confident as they move into the new school year. Build On Their Strengths Change can definitely be a trigger. Consider how you felt your first day at a job or on a new team at work. It’s ok to acknowledge your child’s fear and anxiety and offer the idea that these feelings subside as you become familiar with what was once ‘new’. You may help them to remember a time when this has happened for them in the past and how it felt better over time. This is a great time to focus on your child’s innate strengths and which of those they may have used to manage a new situation in the past. Every person has 24 character strengths inside them. You can discover your family’s strengths by taking the VIA Character Strengths Survey located on the bottom of this page. Back to school time is a great opportunity to lean into your child’s strengths of Bravery, Love of Learning, Leadership, and Curiosity. “It’s very brave of you to sign up for a new club this year.” “I am excited that you used your Love of Learning to try an honors class this year.” Focusing on your child’s strengths rather than trying to “fix” something helps them feel valued. Take a Mindful Moment Sometimes, despite your best intentions your kid is going to be anxious about going back to school. This is your chance to be fully engaged with them in the moment. Actively listen to their concerns and let them know you are listening. “I hear that you are worried about your first day of school, but you smiled when you talked about seeing your friends again?” Offer them a different way to envision the first day of school. “What would it look like if you spotted a friend and were able to walk in together on the first day?” If necessary take a moment just to breathe with them. These calming moments can deepen your relationship and have a positive effect on their mental health heading into the chaos of back to school. Take Time For Yourself Remember this time of year is just as stressful for you as it is for your kids. Back to school shopping, coordinating carpools, rearranging schedules, and doing your regular everyday responsibilities can be overwhelming. Set an intention for yourself to be prepared and ready to help your kids succeed (or at least appear to be prepared!). Lean into your own strengths of Love, Fairness, Judgment, Leadership, and Perseverance. Your kids are going to be looking to you for guidance and your tone sets the tone for the family. Take a moment for yourself. Sit outside and take a moment to appreciate the beauty of these final summer days. Back to school time can be chaotic but it doesn’t have to adversely affect your family’s mental health. Setting a clear intention for your kids, discovering and building upon their strengths, and taking meaningful time to be present and engage with them will go a long way in relieving some of the stress of this busy time of the year.  

Graphic of parent building blocks with a man and woman stocking colorful blocks that have letters, shapes, and numbers
Parents, Schools, Teachers

How To Develop Parents Into Allies In Achieving Children’s Educational Success

Reblogged from Alliance For Strong Families and Communities July 19, 2018 By Emily Scharfenberger, director of strategic partnerships, Beech Acres Parenting Center  Beech Acres Parenting Center believes that parents and caregivers are the biggest champions and strongest advocates for their children. As the first and most important teachers in children’s lives, parents are responsible for helping them achieve their full potential. It is important to equip parents with the necessary skills to help their children be more successful. Therefore, Beech Acres Parenting Center places parents at the center of its education strategy and everything the organization does. Each parent has his or her own unique strengths, and helping parents to uncover and cultivate their strengths enables them to intentionally engage with their children. In doing so, they can equip their children to be the best they can in life. It is important to meet parents where they are and build genuine relationships with them because it enables us to understand their needs. Then we can make the connection with the necessary resources and community partners. This also applies to the school setting—making sure there is a connection made between the school, parent or caregiver, and the community. The relationship between parents and school staff is critical, and connecting and igniting this relationship can drive better success in school. The ability to coordinate and be a liaison between school, parent or caregiver and community partner helps bridge some of the gaps and provide support for all areas. This hopefully will help deepen the relationship and increase the communication happening between the parent/caregiver and the school before meetings need to be scheduled. Beginning the flow of communication between school staff and parent/caregiver as early as possible is important to build the relationship. This will help with the child’s overall school success when everyone can be on the same page working toward the same goal. Providing training for the school staff around trauma, parent engagement, and behavior modification is a key component.

Colorful high $5 graphic with two hands clapping
Beech Acres, Donate, National Parents' Day, Parents

National Parents’ Day is NEXT SUNDAY!

Parenting is challenging. Parents told us so in a recent survey. But it’s also very rewarding. They told us that too. July 22nd is National Parents’ Day. This year we’re raising money to help support our mission of inspiring and equipping today’s parents, families, and communities to raise capable, caring, contributing children. Do you know another parent that’s doing a great job? Give them a “high five” on Facebook or Twitter and let them know you helped another parent be awesome by donating $5 to Beech Acres Parenting Center. If every parent shared with five other parents we would be even closer to our vision of a world where all children are nurtured to discover, cultivate and apply their natural gifts.  Share this on Facebook or Twitter: “High five! You’re doing a great job as a parent! I gave $5 to Beech Acres Parenting Center so they can help other parents be awesome just like you! Please give 5 other moms and dads a “high five” by sharing this post and letting them know you appreciate them!”   

Photo of a young girl looking shocked as she looks down at a laptop screen
Beech Acres, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents

Monitoring Your Child’s Online Activity

It is important to monitor your children’s online activity and be prepared to talk to them about things they may see on the internet. Establish Ground Rules According to the National Cyber Security Alliance’s 2017 survey Keeping Up with Generation App: NCSA Parent/Teen Online Safety Survey, “28% of teens report that their household has no rules about their use of devices”. Of those families that do have rules in place over 70% of teens feel that those rules are effective. Be open about your concerns about your child’s online activity and work with them to establish rules. These rules should extend beyond just not using their devices at dinnertime and should include fair consequences for not following them. Make sure your rules are fair, based on your family’s values, and are focused on your child’s well-being. Here are some common ground rules. Make sure to work together to establish rules that reflect your own family’s values: Create specific times for screen time use. After school, after homework, and after dinner are good times for kids to unwind. Agree on times to put the phone down. During dinner, before homework is complete, right before bedtime are good times to put the screen down and spend some face to face time as a family. Reserve the right to pick up and review your children’s phones. You want to respect their privacy, but make sure they understand you want to be involved and understand what is happening in their digital life. Review search history. Kids can be quick to understand how to clear their history and cache. Use this as an opportunity to not only teach about online safety but to also build trust. Monitor Their Activity This one may get some pushback from your teens as an invasion of privacy. Be clear about your concerns. Make sure they understand the things you are looking for (inappropriate content, cyberbullying) and why you are concerned. Look for social media and messaging apps and understand how your child is using those apps. Look through their YouTube and browser history with them and discuss any concerns that may arise. Develop Their Strengths Use this as an opportunity to develop your child’s strengths. Social intelligence, honesty, and perspective are important when being an online citizen. Being aware of the motives of others can be difficult to determine over the internet. Make sure your child is nimble with their thinking when engaging people online. Being open and honest about what they are doing online can help open communication with you. Explain that they are likely to encounter things online that they may disagree with or are not in line with their own values. Being able to look at different perspectives can help them be safer. Talk To Them Rules and monitoring can only go so far. Make sure you are listening to your children and talking to them.  They may encounter videos, memes, photos, and other content online that can be disturbing and confusing. Be open about topics that may come up and assure your children you are there for them. Seek Help When Necessary https://staysafeonline.org has some great tips for helping your teens stay safe online. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Parent Coaching to help you deal with various parenting challenges. Your first visit is FREE!

Photo of a group of young children on their phones
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time

Messenger Kids. Is My Kid Ready For Facebook Messenger?

Late last year, Facebook, Inc. rolled out a new messaging platform aimed at children ages 4-13. Messenger Kids is available for iOS and Android and promises safer video calls and texting for kids. Facebook describes the app as such: “Messenger Kids is a free video calling and messaging app designed for kids to connect with close friends and family from their tablet or smartphone. Kids can only connect with parent-approved contacts, which creates a more controlled environment. Group or one-on-one video calls with loved ones are more fun with interactive masks, reactions, and sound effects.” Unlike other messaging apps, Messenger Kids requires authentication with a parent’s Facebook account giving parents full control over the app. You have control of the app’s contacts so you can decide who you allow your children to message with. Also, messages have permanence meaning they do not disappear after a period of time like Snapchat. Messenger Kids promises ease of use and fun ways for kids to interact through photos, videos, and gifs. The app does not employ ads, nor does it offer in-app purchases. The promise of security and the high level of parental controls may be a good way to ease your child into messaging. However, with any interactions, it is important to talk to your children about the technology, establish clear rules and boundaries and also monitor their online interactions. Even with the high level of controls offered to parents, there is no way to control the actual content being transmitted. Bullying and sharing of inappropriate content are still possible through the app, though Facebook allows kids to block other users and report online bullying. Facebook seems committed to the idea of this app despite recent problems they have had with online privacy. They have recently pushed an update to the app that included a new “sleep mode”. This setting allows parents to set an off time in the app after which their children can no longer interact with their friends and family online. If you’re an active Facebook user and have tech-savvy kids looking for ways to interact with their friends online, Messenger Kids might be a good place to start. Remember to talk to them about online safety, and make sure they feel comfortable telling you about anything inappropriate they may encounter when online. Common Sense Media offers a review of Messenger Kids focusing on items that matter most to parents as well some other tips for talking to your kids about online safety. For more information on Messenger Kids from Facebook visit https://messengerkids.com

Photo of two parents and their child looking down at digital devices
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Online Safety, Parenting Tips, Parents, Screen Time, Social Media

Six Tips For Online Bliss

Here are six quick tips to help you and your children get on the same page about screen time. Establish Some Simple Ground Rules Start by setting up some simple rules for everyone to follow. These can include no phones during meal time, no screens a half hour before bedtime, or no computer time until after homework is complete. These basic rules should reflect your family’s values and correspond with any established routines. Utilize your family’s strength of teamwork by working together to establish these rules. Doing so creates a sense of ownership and accountability in the process Choose Quality Over Quantity Rather than set a specific number of hours your children are allowed to be online, try starting a conversation about what they love and why they love it. Not only will this help you get to know your child better, but it can encourage their strengths of curiosity and love of learning by letting them spend time with something they really enjoy. If your child likes Harry Potter, for example, set them up on Pottermore or find some games related to the books. This way they are engaging with something they enjoy rather than spending mindless time scrolling through Netflix or YouTube.  Find Appropriate Time To Spend Online  Be intentional and mindful in setting aside time for your kids to be online. Sit down together as a family to develop, discuss, and create these rules. Discuss with them your daily schedules and routines and make sure screen time isn’t interfering with homework, family time, or extracurriculars. Remind them that screen time right before bed may interrupt their sleep. Reinforce the importance of completing their homework before jumping into a game of Fortnite. This will help them be more responsible about the time they choose to be online and develop their strength of self-regulation. Understand What Is and Is Not Appropriate Discussions about social media and screen time provide a great opportunity to reinforce your family’s values and to build on their strengths of judgment and social intelligence. While the internet is an awesome repository of all of the world’s collected knowledge and cat pics, it is also home to some pretty dark stuff. Empower your child to have fun and discover, but make sure they are equipped with the knowledge to avoid things like cyberbullying online predators, or malicious software. Utilize tools such as Google Safe Search Kids, a custom search engine that uses Google’s SafeSearch features along with additional filtering to block potentially harmful material. Establishing a relationship built on trust will let your child feel safe coming to you with any concerns that they have about inappropriate things they may see or encounter on the internet. Model Appropriate Screen Time Yourself Kids are observers of their world. Remember that. When you are having a conversation with your child make sure you are present and fully engaged. Put your phone on silent and put in on a table or desk. Being intentional about this will encourage your daughter or son to do the same. Make sure you comply with the ground rules you established. No phones at dinner or before bedtime. If your kids (or you) need a little help in this department check out the app Moment. It helps you track how much time you spend on your iPhone or iPad. You can set limits and even connect to and monitor your entire family’s usage. It can be eye-opening to see just how much time is being spent online. And most importantly, make sure to never text while driving!  Have Some Analogue Fun The internet has had a profound impact on our lives. It has made many things easier, more convenient, and even more fun. It allows us to connect and stay connected to friends, family, and the world around us. But, don’t forget the time before the iPhone, before AOL, or before that first PDA or dial-up connection. Approach some non-digital activities with zest. Read paperback books together. Take a walk, hike, or bike ride. Dust off the old board games and have a family game night. Check out our Parenting Resources page for more fun things to do. Value balance in your life between the internet and IRL. 

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