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Beech Acres

Strengths

Jim Mason, Mental Health, Natural Strength Parenting™, Strengths

Natural Strength Parenting™ Uncovering the Strengths of all Children with a Mindful Framework for Intentional Growth

Natural Strength Parenting™ (NSP™) is Beech Acres Parenting Center’s distinct approach to parenting. Natural Strength Parenting™ integrates the concepts of intentionality and mindfulness to help parents better see and encourage their children’s unique, innate strengths. Research supports the benefits of each of these three ideas in helping all types of people achieve their goals. However, Beech Acres Parenting Center is the first organization to recognize the power of combining intentionality, mindfulness, and strengths into one foundational approach to parenting. Intentionality. Mindfulness. Strengths. Okay, these are the pillars of NSP™, but how do the three ideas fit together? That question had been on Jim Mason’s mind for quite a while, “What the three practices create together; that’s what’s special to me.” Natural Strength Parenting™ is the culmination of 170 years of parenting experience at Beech Acres Parenting Center. It’s a natural evolution for the organization as we look forward over the next 170 years. “The world is changing rapidly and creating a lot of stress for everyone,” Jim said. “What will the future look like, and how will that affect the family? We need new ways of thinking and relating to each other in order to survive and thrive. Natural Strength Parenting™ provides a blueprint for doing so.” Following are definitions of each pillar and how they fit together: Intentional; Discern your unique purpose, create the life you envision and clarify the values you will teach your children. Natural Strength Parenting™ was founded on the belief that each of us is born with our own unique purpose in life to contribute to the world. Many of us struggle to figure out what that is, some never do. Personal motivation is found when our purpose is discovered. Purposeful living is about making our inner life match our outer self. It’s the energy that moves us joyfully from day to day. Author Steven Covey has made famous the phrase, ‘Start with the end in mind.’ We ask parents to imagine the legacy they want to leave their children and the values they want them to have when they become adults. To be intentional is to live a proactive, purposeful life instead of a reactive life on auto-pilot. Strength-Based; Discover and develop one’s natural gifts to create a sense of mastery, empowerment, and connection with one’s passion. Everyone is born with unique natural gifts. While intentionality provides the vision for the future we want, our natural strengths provide the fuel we need to achieve it. By living from our known strengths, our lives can shift from burdensome to gratifying. Jim explained, “I have seen thousands of vulnerable children in my career, many with very serious internal problems and external obstacles. Yet, every single child had some sort of spark inside, a spark that may have been stifled or diminished by traumatic events. When they discovered their natural gifts, they invariably found hope and blossomed.” “A parent’s most important job is to help her child find his or her unique sparks (strengths) and nurture those sparks to a positive bene t for them and society,” Jim said. “In fact, our life’s purpose often derives from the dynamic relationship between our natural strengths and our environment.” By focusing on natural strengths, parents can promote a life with a deeper sense of meaning, joy, and passion….not just for their children, but themselves as well. Parents who encourage their children’s strengths can help them reach their incredible potential. As we come to understand and practice our natural gifts, we become stronger and more self-confident. This builds the resilience and skills to resist the myriad negative influences surrounding us. Our passions ignite an energy that motivates us to pursue what is truly important and valuable to us. It is the best preventive medicine available! Beech Acres Parenting Center utilizes the VIA Character Strengths Survey to discover each parent and child’s unique mix of strengths. It takes less than 30 minutes to complete on-line but can provide a lifetime of helpful information. “There are many different strengths tools available. We use the VIA because of its universality for everyone,” Jim explained. Mindful; Be present, fully engaged and accepting in the moment. The effort to be intentional and to develop strengths is not simply a theory, nor is it complicated. But, as the saying goes, you must be present to win! The practice of Natural Strength Parenting™ requires that we are present in the moment and paying attention, nonjudgmentally, to what is happening. We can only see our child’s strengths if our minds are open to them and purposely noticing what she/he is doing. Likewise, we can only set a specific intention for the future if we are aware of our current situation. So, mindfulness simply means paying attention, on purpose, in each moment without judgment, to what is happening around me. Mindfulness provides us with the basic ability to be intentional and strength-based. In that way, mindfulness is the glue that holds the whole Natural Strength Parenting™ approach together. Jim informed, “When we are really paying attention in each moment, and not judging who is saying or doing whatever, we have an amazing opportunity to connect with our kids in ways that are truly magical.” Putting it all together. In a recent poll of Greater Cincinnati parents commissioned by Beech Acres, 44% of parents surveyed said, “understanding their kids’ mental health” is “very or extremely important” to me. Those same parents also told us they are interested in “building on my child’s innate strengths”. That’s good news. It is interesting that a high percentage of parents are concerned about their children’s mental health, yet also seem to understand that building on that child’s unique strengths will help increase their coping skills. Natural Strength Parenting™ is designed to help parents do just that. Seeing and nurturing our child’s innate strengths helps build the personal resilience that leads to good mental health and well-being. Natural Strength Parenting™ is at the core of all we do at Beech Acres Parenting Center and is

Graphic image of the Strength Spotting Certficate with a photo of male & female superheroes standing beside each other in the left corner
Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Why not start the year by setting an intention to spot your child’s strengths? Everyone has their own individual unique strengths inside them (24 to be exact!). This year set an intention to spot your kid’s strengths and let them know when you see them using them. This strengths-based approach helps your child build resilience and be more confident. Start by learning more about the 24 character strengths by completing the VIA Character Strengths Survey with your family. Once you know your child’s strengths, take the time to be aware of those strengths and point them out every time you see your child using them. Download and print our Strength Spotting Certificate as an easy way to recognize and celebrate your child’s strengths. Want to learn more about a strengths-based approach to parenting? Visit our website to learn more about Natural Strength Parenting, our unique approach to parenting, or schedule a Natural Strength Parenting™ Coaching session with a Child Development Expert today.

White graphic with a maroon icon of three people with hearts for bodies and "Social Intelligence (Friendship)" written below it
Back To School, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Developing the Strength of Social Intelligence

By Guest Blogger Jaimi Cabrera, Director of New Business Development at Beech Acres Parenting Center While preparing for Back to School with my daughter for the first time, as she begins Kindergarten in a few days, I have Beech Acres Parenting Center unique approach to parenting on my mind, Natural Strength Parenting™ and the specific tools of Intentional, Strength-Based and Mindful that may be helpful. Specifically, I am thinking Strength-Based and the Character Strength of Social Intelligence(Friendship) and how important that this strength is to help our daughter form healthy relationships with the other children in her classroom.  Honestly, no matter what age your child is, this strength is important and can often be overlooked……thinking that other strengths or academic areas were more important. Research shows that Social Intelligence is one of the early emerging strengths that can be formed during early childhood.  It is very important for parents and other adults in a child’s life to help teach them this strength.  Our children need help and support to learn how to make friends and keep friends.  Children who use their strength of Social Intelligence are friendlier and have the skills to form healthy, age-appropriate relationships.  For example, they have the skills to introduce their self to “new” friends and engage in appropriate conversations with other children on the playground or during lunchtime without prompting.   These children have good interpersonal skills and are able to notice other children who are feeling sad or scared and are able to provide a comforting smile or invite them to join them at their table at lunch or a game at recess. The strength of Social Intelligence can help decrease the likelihood of bullying or other negative peer behaviors.  Social Intelligence can help create a positive school culture and community where all “children” are welcome and able to utilize their own strengths.  The key to instilling Social Intelligence in our children is to model the strength for them and give them opportunities to practice the strength at home and other social opportunities. One way to help your child practice using their strength of Social Intelligence is to first give them the definition; Getting along with others, being a friend those can count on.  Then provide the opportunity for your child to practice these skills at home with you and your family is a great place to start.  When you see them using this Strength in action, spot it by saying “Hannah, thank you for being such a nice friend, and using your strength of Social Intelligence, by asking your sister to play Candy Land.” Parenting is a journey and no one is perfect at it!  As you prepare for the transition Back to School, I invite you to practice the strength of Social Intelligence with your child……just as I will this week and throughout the year with my daughter!  

Photo of five kids holding various white and red drawings of faces
Back To School, Bullying, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Making Friends Can Be Difficult At Any Age. Help Your Child Strengthen Their Social Skills

Developing strong social skills is critical to your child’s success in school. It can also be very challenging during the first few weeks of a new school year. New classrooms, different teachers, and new friends can ramp up the anxiety this fall. There are many different ways that you might notice your child is struggling with their social skills. Recognize your child is struggling. During the first few weeks of school, things can be very hectic at home. Take time to talk to your kids and look for clues. They may tell you they are having trouble making friends, spending recess or lunchtime alone, or struggling to get organized with their new classes. For intellectually gifted children, it may be that they are introverted socially or prefer to be around older children or adults. Talk to them about their love of learning and curiosity. Encourage them to talk to other kids that may have similar interests. Shefali Tsabary, the author of The Conscious Parent, asks us to be mindful of what our unconscious agenda is for our child and recognize that it may be different from our child’s agenda. Out of love and concern, we ‘want what’s best’ for our child. Because of this, we want them to have the same or better skills that we have that have been helpful to us in life. Since every child is unique, their personality may not need or want the same thing. Talk to your child and get on the same page about their goals for the year. Then you can lean into their strengths to help them develop their own natural skill set Normalize the situation. When we are struggling socially or having trouble fitting in, we often believe that we are alone or that we are the only one experiencing what we are feeling. In development, this is called “Imaginary Audience”. Teenagers believe that they are the only ones in the world that are struggling with something. Of course, that is not the case. Empathize with them and let them know they are not alone. Show compassion. Tell them, “It must be challenging to be experiencing that…”Explain that other teens are struggling with their own issues and may think they are also alone. Share your own experiences with them. Encourage them to look at their situation from a variety of different viewpoints by helping them develop their strength of perspective. Model engaging ways to connect. You may feel like you want to come up with solutions for them. Instead, partner with them. They are the ones having different experiences every day; finding ways to partner with them and offer encouragement is a healthy approach. Explain to them scenarios you have dealt with at work. “It was not easy initializing the conversation with a co-worker this week, but I ended up getting helpful information from them I would not have otherwise known”. Be curious with them. Ask them, “What would you find most helpful?”  “If you felt more confident in those skills, how might your day be different?” “One of your strengths is……how might you use that to help in this situation?” Another way to support your child’s growth in this area is to discover with them things they enjoy doing. Getting them involved in activities outside of school can be a great way for your kids to expand on their skills and connect with more and different people than they do at school. Adjusting socially at school is challenging for kids of any age. Equipping them with the skills they need by identifying and developing their strengths can help ease challenging social issues and help them have a successful school year.    

Photo of a young girl rolling her eyes as her mom speaks to her while holding a phone
Beech Acres, Cyberbullying, Screen Time, Social Media, Strengths

But Mom, ALL Of My Friends Are On Snapchat!

“But mom, all of my friends are on Snapchat…”  You may have heard this familiar counter-argument coming from your pre-teen daughter or son recently. Or you heard it in the past. Or you’re about to hear it in a few years. Replace Snapchat with Musical.ly, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, AOL, Dungeons & Dragons. The more things change, the more they stay the same it seems. And of course, this conversation is happening right after work, while your busy making dinner/cleaning the house/helping with homework/making a grocery list/paying bills/a million other parenting things that don’t involve a glass of wine and a relaxing book.  The thing is, you don’t even know what Snapchat is. You’ve got a Facebook account you never have time to check and you may have signed up for Twitter before it became a platform for politicians to shout from their digital soapbox. You’re not entirely sure you want your kids sending snaps or ‘gramming. Don’t worry. You’re not alone and unfortunately, there is no right answer. Just because your kid’s friends have their own vlog or their music on Bandcamp doesn’t mean its right for your child or your family.  First, you should know that the “but everyone else…” argument is a timeless parenting dilemma. Take refuge in knowing that the parents next door, down the road, and around the world have heard it time and time again. While the proliferation of the smartphone and access to broadband have modernized this age-old challenge, it’s something that every parent faces. It’s natural and normal for your kid to challenge you and use this common counter. If it’s not the internet, it’s dating, curfew, driving, spring break; you know, all of those other things you’re going to have to deal with in addition to Snapchat.  You can talk to other parents, even get some advice from one of our parent coaches in a parent coaching session (the first one is FREE), but ultimately this decision is going to be yours to make.  You must first decide if you are even going to let your child on to the social platform they are asking to be on. This is a great time to work on your family’s strengths of teamwork and judgment. Have a conversation! Find out why your kid wants to post lip-sync videos to musical.ly or live stream their Destiny campaigns. Look up these things together. Make sure you listen to your kid and do not quickly dismiss their request. They may not even know why they want to tweet. They just know all their friends are doing it. Remember everything in the world is the most important thing in the world to them. Figure out what appeals to them and what you’re willing to allow. Show compassion and a willingness to listen, talk and learn together. This is how you build trust.  Once you’ve decided they can sign up for a service, do it together. Make sure you understand what it is exactly a platform is doing. It may take you a while to sort out the difference between Swarm and Periscope, but knowing the basics will help you establish rules for use. Basic rules for using social media should be governed by your family’s values, routines, and already established ground rules for screen time and internet use. Don’t have ground rules yet? Check out our six tips for online bliss. In addition to those rules make sure you create rules specific to the platform they are using. For example, no inappropriate content on YouTube, no anonymous group chats on WeChat, no Snapchats after 9:00, and the phone is on the charger in the kitchen or living room overnight. Know their friend list and look through those DMs (that’s a direct message and almost all of these platforms have them).  Great! We’re on Twitch, now what? Let them have fun. Make sure they follow the rules you’ve established and make sure to check in on them from time to time. Once you’ve established trust these periodic check-ins should not be a surprise. Also, take this opportunity to build their strength of social intelligence. Make sure they understand to watch out for and report cyberbullying, messages from people they don’t know, and anything weird, inappropriate, or scary they may see online.  Now, let’s figure out where all the vowels are in Flickr and Tumblr togethr. 

Headshot photo of a woman sitting with her arms folded on a table
Beech Acres, Parenting Tips, Parents, Raising Positive Children, Strengths

Don’t Miss Lea Waters: Raising Strong Children Tomorrow Night at Mayerson Academy!

Don’t miss the first event in the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series tomorrow night at Mayerson Academy! Mayerson Academy and its partners Beech Acres Parenting Center and Children, Inc. are pleased to bring luminaries in the field of positive psychology to our region to share the best in current, applied science for building positive parenting capacity. Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series begins tomorrow as Dr. Lea Waters presents Raising Strong Children January 11th from 6-8 at Mayerson Academy. Lea Waters Ph.D. is an Australian psychologist, academic, researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in positive education, parenting, and organizations. Lea is the 2017-2019 President of the International Positive Psychology Association and serves on the Council of Happiness and Education for the World Happiness Council. She lives in Melbourne, Australia, with her husband, son, and daughter. Get your tickets now!

White "The Strength Switch" book cover with various colors of playdough in the background
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Book Review: The Strength Switch, By Lea Waters; A Busy Mom’s Perspective

Guest blogger, Nikki Zellen, Director of Marketing Book Review: The Strength Switch, by Dr. Lea Waters As a busy Mom working at Beech Acres Parenting Center (behind the scenes), I am fortunate that sometimes my ‘homework’ helps me with my own kids! I had the pleasure of reading Ms. Waters’ book in advance of her appearance in Cincinnati for Raising Strong Children, part one of the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series on January 11th at Mayerson Academy. The Strength Switch is laid out in two parts: Laying the Foundation and Building Strengths. In reading the first half, I recognized many of the same academic studies that our social workers casually talk about in the hallways and reference in meetings. However, Ms. Waters breaks them down for parents to understand. The references to the science and studies help the reader develop a belief that this stuff works! Once you start to embrace the opportunity to flip the switch, Ms. Waters provides many activities for different ages to test with your family. My personal favorite was The Praise Puzzle chapter. Ms. Waters provides detailed examples and phrases of how to celebrate your child in a way that builds on their strengths. If your child brings homes a good grade, there are a variety of ways to respond (which I had never really thought about before), which she outlines: Generic Praise: “Good Job!” Process Praise: “You prepared for this test by spending extra time each night reviewing material.   And it worked!” (praising child’s strategy) or “You pulled up your score by a full grade! What do you think you did that helped you improve? (praising child’s improvement) Praise for Character: “Thanks for opening the door! You are a helpful person!” (will internalize moral strengths are within him) Her recommendation: Strength-based Praise, linking a strength with an action. “You’ve used your persistence [strength] to stick to the task of reviewing for this test every night last week [action], even when you were tired and wanted to play computer games.” “…strength-based praise encourages both achievement and good character by connecting kids with the positive forces they unleash through the combined power of their strengths and their actions.” – Lea Waters The book forces parents to stop and think about their word choices and the profound impact they have on our children. Ms. Waters summarizes the book best for us… “Attention on the negative helped us survive. Attention on the positive helps us thrive.”   And we all want our kids to thrive! My one wish, which may be all Moms’ wish, is for more time. The Strength Switch was a little dense to get through, but if you are lucky enough to be near a Beech Acres Parenting Center location… in one hour you will be able to get a taste of Natural Strength Parenting™ with a parenting coach. Our strengths-based approach to parenting is based on many of the same studies mentioned in the book. Set an intention to focus on your parenting this year by reading The Strength Switch and seeing Lea Waters live in Cincinnati on January 11th. Tickets are available here!

Photo of a child with a santa hat pulled over their face
Parenting Tips, Strengths

Helping Kids Navigate Social Settings This Holiday Season

Navigating different social scenarios can be challenging for kids, especially around the holidays. With all of the school pageants, family events, and holiday parties, this time of year can be stressful for kids (and mom and dad!). It can be difficult for kids to be around strangers or even family members they rarely see. The holiday party season is a great time to talk to your children about the strength of “social intelligence”; knowing how to fit into different social situations comfortably. Talk to them ahead of each event. Let them know who will be there, how long you plan to stay, and what to expect. Point out their other strengths (humor, curiosity, bravery) and discuss how they may use those to navigate different scenarios. Be mindful of your child’s personality. They may be “the life of the party” and be very comfortable in large groups, or they may be shy and more reserved in these settings. Being the familiar face and helping set them at ease is essential. The holidays should be a time to celebrate and enjoy your time together. A little thoughtful planning, mindful awareness, and focus on strengths can help everyone enjoy the festivities.

Photo of a mother and son painting a birdhouse
Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Services, Strengths

Wrap-Around Support: Wendy’s Story

An important ingredient in serving modern parents is meeting them where they are with appropriate and effective services. This means not only helping them where they are in their parenting journeys but being physically available at convenient locations. To accomplish this, Beech Acres provides services in homes, communities and over 25 local schools. Wendy was first introduced to Beech Acres Parenting Center at her eldest son, David’s school. David was experiencing behavioral issues in school and was connected with mental health services through Beech Acres Parenting Center right at the school. This simple connection to initial services for David started an important journey for Wendy’s family. Wendy’s environment was impacting her personal progress and her ability to raise her family the way she wanted. Negativity from individuals in Wendy’s social sphere was having an unwelcome influence on her and her family. “Wendy felt downtrodden and overwhelmed by her circumstances,” said Sarah, a Therapeutic Service Provider with Beech Acres. “She needed direction and encouragement.” Beech Acres offered Wendy “wrap- around” support for her entire family. In addition to her oldest son, Wendy has two preschoolers. As an early prevention tactic, Wendy’s younger children were enrolled in our Kindergarten Readiness program. The personalized support Wendy and her children received through Kindergarten Readiness helped them identify their own natural strengths as they prepared for success in school. Wendy’s daughter successfully completed the program. Her results on the Bracken School Readiness Assessment demonstrated ‘very advanced’ on the school composite score. Her youngest son continues to participate in the program and is on target developmentally as indicated by the Bracken Assessment. Wendy’s perseverance has led to an improvement in her family’s situation. Not just for her children, but for herself. “Our wrap-around support included helping Wendy achieve her overall personal goals in addition to early learning preparation for her daughter and son,” said Deandre, a Parent Educator with BAPC. “She focused on gaining employment and finding adequate housing for herself and children.” As a result of participating in various programs through Beech Acres Parenting Center Wendy is now gainfully employed and is moving her family into its own home. Deandre continues to engage Wendy and her family in wrap-around services with Family Peer Support and Behavioral Health services. Her family is happily thriving, and her children are prepared for success in school. Her resiliency has altered the trajectory of her life and the lives of her children!

Photo of two parents and their two children looking at a laptop
Strengths

24 Days of Strengths!

Today through Christmas we are celebrating “24 Days of Strengths” on Facebook! Each person possesses 24 character strengths in different degrees. Knowing and building on your strengths can have a significant positive impact on your life and the lives of your family. We’ll start by celebrating “love of learning”. Have fun learning together by taking the VIA Institute on Character Character Strengths Survey. The survey will help you discover your family members unique individual strengths and help you start to live your potential. https://www.viacharacter.org/www/Character-Strengths-Survey

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