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Beech Acres

Author name: Parent Coach

Spongebob Meme that says "Waking your kid up after daylight savings time" with Spongebob squinting angrily
Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

You Can Survive Daylight Savings Time!

You Can Survive Daylight Savings Time! Daylight. Savings. Time. In the fall, it’s great! Fall back! An extra hour to sleep in, yay! Springing forward? LOSING an hour of sleep? Not so much. For parents, it can be a minor annoyance, nothing an extra cup or three of coffee can’t handle, but for your kids, it may be a different story. Daylight savings can really impact your children’s sleep routine. Their little internal clocks become accustomed to their routines and any change, especially one as disruptive that impacts an hour of sleep, can be challenging. This year try shifting their bedtimes by 10-15 minutes, 1-2 weeks ahead of the time change to help them adjust. Preparation is key in a successful time change transition, but most parents sometimes forget about it, are surprised by it, and then have to deal with the consequences. The consequences may include: Fatigue (obviously!) Moodiness (beware of those teenage mood swings) Increased (in frequency and intensity) tantrums and meltdowns (great news for your toddler) Tardiness (you don’t want to walk in late for church, miss the best table at brunch or gasp! be late for school on Monday!) If your child does seem more tired, is running late to everything, or seems more irritated with you than normal, lean into your strengths of perspective and forgiveness. Recognize and acknowledge that they are feeling the effects of the time change and that their bodies and minds will catch up eventually. Encourage them to use perseverance to get used to that change. Encourage them to use that extra hour of daylight to go outside and play. Remember this can be really hard on kids, which means it will be hard on you too mom and dad! But with a little preparation and using your family’s strengths, you’re sure to find good use of all that “extra” time.

Graphic of a black smartphone with positive text messages displayed on the screen
Parenting Tips

Let Your Kids Know That You Love Them Every Day…And Make Sure They See It!

Sometimes your children just need to hear that you love them. Between school, sports, clubs, and other responsibilities you may miss these opportunities to let them know how you feel. Send them a quick text. They already have their phone in their hand anyway! 📱   It may just brighten their day. 🌞 Share messages of love openly and often. It may sound corny, but anything parents can do to practice communicating is good. Reaching out frequently lets your kids know that you love them even if they roll their eyes when you say it. Here are some ideas to let your kids know you love them every day. Ideas for parents to show love and support. Texts are something kids will always read; whether they admit it or not. Here are some things you can say. Download these and other ideas to make your home a safe place for communication.

Photo of a young man with a cloud of vape smoke covering his face
Parenting Tips, Parents, Uncategorized, Vaping

Vaping: Facts, Fiction, and Valuable Information for Parents

“Not my kid.” “I would know.”  “We don’t allow smoking in the house.” Not a Fad You may have thought vaping was a fading fad, one that had not affected your family. Fact: A recent survey of nearly 44,000 students in the United States indicated a dramatic rise in the use of e-cigarettes. In 2018, 37% of 12th graders surveyed reported vaping, up from 28% the previous year. This rise in usage of e-cigarettes shows that not only is vaping not a fad, but it’s a problem that may be getting worse. So, what can you do about it? First, arm yourself with the facts.  Fact: Any usage of e-cigarettes is unsafe for persons of any age Fact: E-cigarettes may contain nicotine, a highly addictive chemical that can impact brain development in kids Fact: People who use e-cigarettes may be more likely to become cigarette smokers later A Dangerous Habit Your children, especially your teenagers, and pre-teens, may think they are invincible. Fiction: Vape juice or e-juice is just harmless “water vapor” and vaping is not as harmful as smoking cigarettes. The truth, these “juices” may contain nicotine, chemical-based flavorings, and other harmful substances. Your kids may think these substances are safe due to marketing, fun-sounding flavors, and other misconceptions. They are also very prone to peer pressure. They may even think the billows of smoke exhaled by some e-cigarettes look “cool”. Whatever the motive, kids can be attracted to this type of behavior especially if their friends are doing it.   Fiction: Vape juice is just harmful water vapor Fiction: Vaping is not harmful like smoking cigarettes Fiction: Vaping tools cannot be used to inhale marijuana   E-cigarettes or vaping pods can vary greatly in size, shape, and design. Some may look like traditional cigarettes, many look like marijuana pipes, but the most popular designs, including those from manufacturers like JUUL, look like normal everyday devices your kids have in their backpacks every day such as pens, highlighters or USB sticks. Parents, teachers, and other adults may not even notice these items, even if hidden in plain sight.  Talk To Your Kids Now, before you rummage through your kids’ room, emptying out their backpacks, and going through their drawers to inspect every pen, USB stick and other electronics you may find. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There are some things to try first to prevent your child from trying vaping.  Be Intentional Start by being clear and intentional with your family’s values. If your children know that smoking, vaping, or drug use is an unacceptable behavior and that it is harmful to their health and development they may be less likely to try it. Let them know you love them, are concerned with their well-being and arm them with the facts above. Parenting purposefully with an intentional approach not only lets your child know what is important to your family but why those values are important for their well-being.  Focus on Their Strengths Next, be aware of their strengths and have open, honest conversations with them. For example, if you see someone vaping, lean into their strength of curiosity. They may have questions about the behavior and may even think it looks cool. Letting them ask questions they may have about any topic will help you understand what they know and don’t know about it and provide you powerful insight into their perspective on the behavior.  Let them use their strength of judgment to examine everything they know about vaping. They may have heard that vaping helps people quit smoking. While this may be the case for some users, make sure they understand that vape juice may contain the exact same harmful substances and cigarettes. They may conclude that swapping one bad behavior for another isn’t for them.  While you’re focused on their strengths, this is a great opportunity to build their strengths of bravery, social intelligence, and leadership, by having a frank discussion about peer pressure. They may feel pressure from friends to try vaping, smoking, or to engage in other dangerous behaviors. It can be difficult for kids to say no to their friends for fear of being ridiculed and left out. The good news is, by teaching them to be brave, empowering them to navigate a variety of social situations, an encouraging them to be leaders, you are building in them resilience that can help them stand up to peer pressure. “No, thank you. Vaping isn’t for me. That’s just as bad as smoking you know? Let’s play Fortnite instead.”  Be Mindful Finally, make sure you are parenting mindfully, being present, fully engaged, and accepting in the moment. In today’s busy world it can be difficult to really take the time to be with your children, but it’s so important. When you are actively listening to your children and involved in their lives you reduce the likelihood of them turning to destructive behaviors such as vaping.  Citations and Resources https://beechacres.org/natural-strength-parenting/ https://www.stepupanderson.org https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/basic_information/e-cigarettes/Quick-Facts-on-the-Risks-of-E-cigarettes-for-Kids-Teens-and-Young-Adults.html https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/02/vaping-rises-among-teens https://www.prevention-first.org

TCE Evidence-Based Stamp graphic
Uncategorized

The Character Effect™ Has Been Designated as Evidenced-based by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

Earlier this week we received notice that The Character Effect™ a universal social-emotional learning program for elementary school students has been designated as evidenced-based by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The Character Effect™ is a flexible developmental framework for the classroom that combines mindfulness and character strengths in an effective curriculum that promotes confidence and improves overall well-being in a school. The Character Effect™ is designed to: improve students’ self-control, increase classroom participation, cultivate an atmosphere of respect for others, boost academic success and, decrease behavior issues. To learn more about this designation click here.

Wide angle photo of a stairwell
Anxiety, Mindfullness, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Prepare Your Children For Evacuation Drills At School By Discussing Their Strengths and Using Mindfulness

Prepare Your Children For Evacuation Drills At School By Discussing Their Strengths and Using Mindfulness By Rich Richmond, Marketing Associate, Beech Acres Parenting Center Recently, during a quiet family dinner, my daughter was recounting her activities from that day and shared that they had an evacuation drill that morning. Without really thinking, I asked her what kind of drill, fire? Tornado? “Active shooter,” she replied. For generations, fire drills and tornado drills were a common activity for schoolchildren, a brief reprieve from the daily routine, and a valuable opportunity to remind them what to do in case a natural or unexpected disaster hit their school. For a new generation of children, another type of drill -the active shooter drill- has become just as commonplace. I was not as shocked as I expected, these drills are a common and unfortunately a necessary part of today’s school routine, but I was a bit surprised at how casual she was about it. Active shooter drills are as foreign to me as air raid or bomb drills were when my parents, grandparents or aunt and uncles would reference them. But for millions of kids, this is the new normal. Schools have a variety of terms for these types of drills; active shooter, intruder, ALICE (Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, and Evacuate), for my daughter’s drill, a “suspicious character” was in the building. Her school is “L” shaped, and I was also surprised to hear that while one half of the school practiced an evacuation, the other half, where the “suspicious character” was located, practiced lockdown, hiding, and fighting back. It sparked a lot of conversation that night, and I am sure many other parents were in the same situation. Your children will likely experience these drills at some point, and it is important that you talk with them before, during, and after to make sure they can articulate their feelings and understand the importance of prioritizing their physical safety AND mental well-being. I consulted the experts I work with at Beech Acres Parenting Center to discuss some strategies to prepare kids for these types of drills. Here’s what they had to say: Before The Drill Your school will probably inform you of any upcoming drills. Make sure you stay current with any communications from the school, including emails, social media updates, and forms sent home with your child. Explain to your child that the drill will be happening and why it is important to take it seriously. Be careful not to interject any of your own anxieties or feelings into the conversations, your child will pick up on that and may mirror those feelings. Instead, create and maintain an atmosphere of openness and support, encouraging your child to share with you all aspects of their day, both positive and negative. You’re in this together! Let them know whatever they are feeling; fear, dread, confusion, indifference, is normal and be supportive. During The Drill Make sure your child understands the importance of paying attention during the drill and carefully following the directions they are given. Please encourage them to use mindfulness to help them get through it. The same simple strategies they use to calm themselves down before a big test or important game can work here. Tell them to be aware of their body and surroundings, listen to what is around them, be present in the moment. One exercise they can do before, during, or after) is the S.T.O.P. meditation; Stop what they are doing, Take a breath, Observe their surroundings, body, mind, and feelings, and Proceed with a clear mind. They can do this quickly, in the moment, as a way to calm down and focus during the drill. After The Drill Parenting experts have long espoused the importance of having dinner together as a family, and while that may not always be possible, being present in the moments you have with your child is. Make sure you take some time every day to really talk with your child, ask them powerful questions about their day that encourage more than one-word answers. Ask them how they felt physically, emotionally, and mentally after the drill. Discover, notice, build, and reward their strengths of bravery, judgment, perseverance, social intelligence, perspective, and hope. These strengths, along with mindfulness activities, can help your children build resiliency. As parents, we cannot protect our children from everything, but what we can do is teach them the tools and skills necessary to build their resiliency. Learn more about building your child’s strengths through Natural Strength Parenting, Beech Acres Parenting Center’s unique approach to parenting. If you want to go further, schedule a parent coaching session today.

Uncategorized

January 11th is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day

January 11th is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. National Human Trafficking Awareness Day is designated to bring awareness to the plague of Human Trafficking. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, nearly 25,000 runaways were reported in 2017. Of those, an estimated 1 in 7 were possible victims of child sex trafficking. This sobering statistic heightens the importance of being aware of the global problem of human trafficking. Be Aware As a busy parent, the possibility of having to deal with this issue is likely a low priority on your list of daily concerns. While the likelihood of your child becoming a victim is remote, it is important to be aware of the issue and look for signs of human trafficking in your community. The National Human Trafficking Hotline lists a number of “red flags” to look for in your community. These include: Common Work and Living Conditions: Person is not free to leave or come and go as he/she wishes Person is in the commercial sex industry and has a “manager” They owe a large debt and is unable to pay it off Poor Mental Health or Abnormal Behavior: Person appears fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense, nervous or paranoid Person exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement They avoid eye contact Poor Physical Health: Person doesn’t have medical care and/or is denied medical services by employer Person appears malnourished or shows signs of repeated exposure to harmful chemicals They show signs of physical and/or sexual abuse, physical restraint, confinement, or torture Often, bizarre security measures inconsistent with the rest of the area exist in the work and/or living locations. Look for opaque or boarded-up windows,  bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc.. How to Protect Your Children Tell your child to always be aware of their surroundings, be wary of communicating with strangers, and always have their cell phones with them (and charged!) with family and emergency contacts programmed in. Helping your child develop and maintain good self-esteem and healthy relationships, you reduce the risk that he or she will be targeted by traffickers. Nationwide Children’s Hospital offers some tips on their website including: Know what your kids are doing online. (check out our recent tips on online safety) Know who your kids are with and where they are hanging out. There are obvious situations, like being on the street late at night, but even places like the mall can be dangerous. Teach your children resiliency. Help your child build strong self-esteem from an early age. Maintain open communication with your child. Be someone the teens in your life can talk with. Awareness and caution are key to recognizing, reducing, and preventing human and sex trafficking. If you have any questions or concerns about this topic visit the National Human Trafficking Hotline or the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children websites.

Graphic image of the Strength Spotting Certficate with a photo of male & female superheroes standing beside each other in the left corner
character strengths

Set An Intention In 2020 To Notice Your Child’s Strengths

Why not start the new year and a new decade by setting an intention to notice your child’s strengths? Everyone has their own individual unique strengths inside them (24 to be exact!). This year set an intention to spot your kid’s strengths and let them know when you see them using them. This strengths-based approach helps your child build resilience and be more confident. Start by learning more about the 24 character strengths by completing the VIA Character Strengths Survey with your family. Once you know your child’s strengths, take the time to be aware of those strengths and point them out every time you see your child using them. Download and print our Strength Spotting Certificate as an easy way to recognize and celebrate your child’s strengths.

Photo of a young student sitting alone at lunch
Bullying, character strengths, Cyberbullying, The Character Effect™

How Can The Character Effect™ Have An Effect On Bullying?

Bullying continues to be a major problem for students. We know that about 1 in 4 students in the United States say that they have been bullied. The majority of this occurs in middles school and usually involves both verbal and social bullying. So, how can mindfulness and character strengths #HaveAnEffect on bullying? Research shows that Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) programs like The Character Effect™ can be an effective component in comprehensive bullying prevention interventions in schools*. The Character Effect™ (TCE) helps build students’ resilience. We do this by increasing their social-emotional learning competencies of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.  These competencies have been proven to help students learn to interact with others appropriately, create positive relationships, control impulses and stand up for what is right. A resilient student is more likely to be able to handle situations they encounter in a more positive manner. Students who participated in school-wide SEL programs to prevent bullying were 56% less likely to report name-calling by other students*. The Character Effect™ also helps students nurture and develop specific strengths that can be effective against bullying. These strengths include Friendship, Bravery, Self-Control, Kindness, Judgment, and Perspective. All of which are all helpful when learning to interact with peers and handle conflict. Bullying is not going away anytime soon. However, we can teach our students coping skills that rely on their own unique strengths to help mitigate the effects of bullying. Want to #HaveAnEffect in your school? Contact us today and learn how the positive psychology of mindfulness and the power of the 24 character strengths can improve your school’s culture.   *Smith, Brian H., and Sabina Low. “The role of social-emotional learning in bullying prevention efforts.” Theory Into Practice 52.4 (2013): 280-287. *Espelage, Dorothy L., et al. “Clinical trial of Second Step© middle-school program: Impact on aggression & victimization.” Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology 37 (2015): 52-63.  

Photo of a young boy with a red Santa hat covering the majority of his face while he frowns
Parenting Tips, Parents

Help Your Anxious Kids Navigate Social Situations This Holiday Season

Navigating different social scenarios can be challenging for kids, especially around the holidays. With all of the school pageants, family events, and holiday parties, this time of year can be stressful for kids (and moms and dads!). Remember, it can be difficult for kids to be around strangers or even family members they rarely see. The holiday party season is a great time to talk to your children about the strength of “social intelligence”; knowing how to fit into different social situations comfortably. Here are some tips to help them cope with potentially stressful situations. Talk to them ahead of each event. Let them know who will be there, how long you plan to stay, and what to expect. Point out their other strengths (humor, curiosity, bravery) and discuss how they may use those to navigate different scenarios. Be mindful of your child’s personality. They may be “the life of the party” and be very comfortable in large groups, or they may be shy and more reserved in these settings. Being the familiar face and helping set them at ease is essential. The holidays should be a time to celebrate and enjoy your time together. A little thoughtful planning, mindful awareness, and focus on strengths can help everyone enjoy the festivities.

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