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Parenting

Parent Connext™, Parenting, Parenting Tips

But I’M BORED!

“BUT I’M SO BORED! I have nothing to do!” Here’s what you can do when you hear that dreaded statement… Invariably your children are going to get bored. Boredom can strike at any time and anywhere. It’s not even August yet, and your kids may be coming to you to let you know they have “nothing to do.” This can happen despite the ready availability of toys, video games, smartphones, and all of outside. Do you feel like a cruise ship director for your children and family? Do you constantly feel like you have to fill their time with activities and fun? It is exhausting trying to entertain our kids, but the good news is… you DON’T have to. Lean In To Their Strength Of Creativity Kids learn about creativity and imagination through boredom! It may be painful at first hearing the whines about how bored your child is, or how there is absolutely nothing to do (in a house full of things to do). If you can step into the discomfort as a parent and avoid the need to fix, it can allow your child’s strength of creativity to shine. First, empathize with their boredom, “You are sooo bored and have no idea what to do! It’s hard not having any plans.”  Next, step out of being the cruise director and encourage your child to take the lead, “Sounds like you want me to find something for you to do, but I’m confident you can figure out something that you are interested in”, “I’m happy to provide options of things to do, but I know you can use your strength of creativity to figure something out.” If they keep coming to you, then you can provide choices, “You can play Legos or help me clean the kitchen?”  Boredom doens’t have to ruin their summer, or yours. Focus on their stregths, take a breath, and if you need more help schedule a coaching session with one of our parenting experts.

Parenting

Summer Tips For Traveling With Your Kids

Traveling With Children This summer, you and your family may be planning a trip somewhere. It may be a short trip to visit Grandma and Grandpa, a day trip to the lake or a museum, a beach vacation, or even a once-in-a-lifetime cross-country trek. Whatever your travel plans, you can implement simple strategies to keep your kids happy and yourself sane. If you plan to travel this summer, here are some travel tips from our experts at Parent Connext®. Traveling With Younger Children Traveling with younger children can be stressful and difficult. Here are some things you can do to make your trip a little less stressful. For babies and toddlers, ensure you have supplies you need for the days gone, and then add at least an extra day’s worth of supplies (like diapers, bottles, snacks, etc.). Have new activities/toys (you can even gather old toys they have not seen in a while). Bubbles, stickers, and band-aids are all good items to have on hand when your child starts to lose it. Pack a change of clothes for your child and yourself to carry on if you are flying. Take a stroller, even if your child rarely uses one. You will be out of routine, and if you are flying, you may need it to carry stuff and/or run through the airport.  Although it is hard, try to stick to their routine. Make sure to have nap times (even if it is in the car or on the plane) and eat meals & snacks around the same time.  If you’re driving, plan to take frequent breaks, and if flying, let your child move around and explore on layovers. Traveling With Older Children Older kids may require less prep time and less work, but it can still be a chore to get your teens to travel well. Here are some tips to get you started. Get them involved in packing. Create a packing list and have them gather the stuff and pack together. Involve them in planning the itinerary and activities. Make sure they take activities to do other than technology. Create space for downtime and breaks from the family. Your teens can probably keep themselves busy but try to get them involved, limit technology use, and maybe use this time to talk to and listen to them.

Parenting, Parenting Tips

Summer Slump? Now What?

Your child has been out of school for about a month, and you might feel the summer slump creeping in. You are exhausted by juggling work and your kids being home, which can create considerable family challenges. This month we’re exploring how to navigate this part of the summer while also working on caring for yourself and building essential skills for your child(ren). Do A Mid-Summer Family Check In Have a family meeting to discuss how things are going for you as parents and your child(ren)? Are your expectations in alignment? For example, you may want to see if you are being realistic about bedtimes or what you can accomplish. Recognize the challenges you’re facing while trying to juggle working (sometimes from home) and lack of childcare. It is ok to ask for help. Do a childcare swap with a neighbor or friend, or get a younger child to be a parent helper. Be open to hiring someone to do certain tasks, like cleaning. Remember that your time is valuable, so paying someone can free up time to spend with your family or care for yourself. Be open to different schedules, including sleep, work, playtime, etc. Look back at the summer bucket list you created at the beginning of the summer. What items can you check off? Do you see any ideas of things to do with the remainder of the summer? Learn Important Life Skills Summer can be a great time to learn life skills not taught in school, like cooking, cleaning, or laundry. Pick a skill you want your child to learn or improve upon. It is essential for children to learn responsibility and accountability. Laundry Toddlers can help sort socks, then learn to put away their clothes. Older children can help fold and put away clothes and even start learning how to wash the towels and sheets. Teenagers can then start learning how to do their own laundry. Shopping Include your toddler in making a shopping list and dinner menu. Let them be a part of the cooking process, like measuring and pouring in. Work up towards learning how to cook an entire meal by the time they are in middle school or high school. Chores Younger kids love being helpful, so start involving them in chores early. For older kids, try to avoid rescuing when they don’t do their assigned chores. For example, if they haven’t done the dishes yet, let them pile up, and now they have more dishes to do. This is a natural life consequence that is important to learn early. You can start giving an allowance around preschool; the recommendation is half their age per week.o If you have a 4-yo, they would get $2 a week. Start by teaching about different buckets based on your values.  For example, you can have a spend jar, save jar, and share jar. When your child asks to buy something, you can help them assess if they have enough money to spend and if the item is important enough to move from saving to spending. Sharing money can be anything from buying gifts for others to donating to worthy causes your child is interested in. For example, if they love animals, take them shopping for animal supplies to donate to an animal shelter. Practice Self Care Remind yourself that Self-care is NOT Selfish. If you, as the parent, are not taking care of yourself, it is hard to take care of your child(ren). As they say on an airplane, put your oxygen mask on first. Have Fun! What do you remember the most about your own childhood summers? Probably something FUN? A trip to the beach or a favorite amusement park? Lazy days at the pool? Rainy days spend playing board games, listening to the radio, or watching MTV? Maybe you worked all summer and learned responsibility and resilience while making money and friends? Even if you’re busy working all summer, you can still find time to have fun with the kids. Plan a day at the park, choose a favorite ice cream shop or restaurant for a fun dinner or dessert. No budget? Dust off those old board games, records, or movies. Make a playlist of your favorite songs and listen to them together on a car ride or while making s’mores in the backyard. Remember those chores from above? Cook a fun summery meal together. Finally, your kids are going to get bored. And that’s ok. Boredom can help breed imagination and develop their strength of Creativity. If you hear the dreaded “but mom, I’m BORED!” it’s ok to set a boundary and let them work it out on their own. Maybe have a list of chores or activities ready to go to guide them, but boredom is something they are going to have to experience and learn from especially when mom and dad are tired. Summer can be an exciting and exhausting time for your entire family. Use these tips and you just may make it to the holidays! (Don’t worry, we can help there too.)

Parenting

How To Support Your Children When Violent Acts Occur In The Community

Bad, scary, or negative news can be traumatic for children of all ages. “Bad” news can be anything, from natural disasters to local or global political strife, mass shootings, the fallout from the drug epidemic, or even a fire in your neighborhood. Unfortunately, there have been too many stories involving violence against children in the headlines recently. These types of news stories can be scary and profoundly impact your children. Therefore, it is essential for parents to be prepared to talk with their children about things they may see and hear on the news.  Encourage Open Conversation  It is critically important to encourage open conversations between yourself and your children. This should be maintained on all topics, which can make addressing these bigger topics easier. Let their curiosity and concerns guide the conversation and your responses. They may have questions about what they see and hear-starting with “Why?”. Assure them that they are heard and answer their questions the best you can. And it’s ok if you must use your strength of Honesty sometimes and let them know you just don’t have an answer.  Start by asking them what they’ve heard or know about the story. Try and keep responses fact-based and use trusted, reliable sources for information. Provide age-appropriate responses directly and in small, easy-to-digest chunks of information. After opening the dialogue, give yourself and your children time to process what they’ve heard and then stop and listen. Always reassure your child that you’re available and there for them. You’re there to help keep them safe.  Validate And Normalize Their Feelings And Concerns It is important to let your child know that you hear them, that their feelings are real, and that their concerns are valid. Let them know it’s ok to be concerned, afraid, and, importantly, empathetic to the victims of the tragedy. Let them know you are also concerned but that you are there for them. Emphasize that important adults always work hard to keep kids safe and secure. Encourage them to look for the “helpers” in the news stories and make sure they have a plan if something bad is happening around them. Try some mindfulness practices to help them remain calm.  Natural Strength Parenting™ Tip: If you have a particularly anxious child, there are proven, effective strategies you can use now, or anytime, to help keep them calm. Learn more. Empower Action Together With Your Child What actions can you take with your child to make a difference? How can you help make your community safer? For children of all ages, make sure they have a plan to stay safe if they find themselves in a dangerous situation. For younger children, encourage them to look for those “helpers”, teachers, coaches, firefighters, and other adults they know and trust for assistance and direction. For older children, make sure they have their phones with them, charged, and with emergency contacts loaded and accessible. For teens or much older children, discuss systemic change, advocacy, voting, and other more adult ways to approach these complex topics.  Encourage discussion by asking questions like “What do you think we should do to help keep kids safe?”, “Who are adults you can go to if you need help?”, “What makes you feel comfortable and safe?” “What can we do at home for you to feel safer?”  Encourage your children to use their strength of Creativity to express themselves. This can be through talking, playing, writing, music, dance, art, and other activities.  Monitor For The Need For Longer-term Support Keep an eye on your children after they hear about a tragedy in the news. Keep those lines of communication open and look for longer-term ill effects as they continue to digest the news. Try to maintain your family’s regular routine as much as possible (meals, sleep, and activities). If your child cannot return to their normal routine after a period of time, this may indicate that your family needs more support. It’s not unusual for kids to go back to more childlike behaviors when they find out about distressing events. This will get better with reassurance that the child is safe and with time. If your child has a very intense reaction or you have concerns about their behavior or emotions, reach out to their pediatrician or consider connecting with a mental health professional in their school or the community.  Bad, scary, or tragic news is an unfortunate part of our world. And it is important that you are ready to intercede with your child once they hear bad news. Letting them know they are safe and loved can help them digest difficult news and move forward.  Need more support? Connect with one of our Parenting Specialists today!  

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Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting, Parenting Tips, Parents

Brain Connection

The brain is a powerful tool. Using Mindful and Strength-based practices is an intentional way to keep the brain connected and working in harmony. How does your brain help you? When all the parts of the brain work in harmony, emotions, and behaviors are expressed in helpful ways, let’s use the hand to show how this is done. DOWNSTAIRS BRAIN-AMYGDALA • Alarm center of our big emotions like anger, fear and frustration• Senses danger• Interprets the world throughfive senses• Triggers Flight, Fight, and Freeze UPSTAIRS BRAIN – PREFRONTAL CORTEX • Protects Amygdala• Allows good choices • Allows clear thinking • Manages emotions• Helps you ask for help “FLIPPING OUR LID” • The downstairs brain and the upstairs brain aren’t working together• Can’t think clearly• Not managing emotions well CONNECTED BRAIN • Brain working together in harmony • Making wise decisions• Using feelings and thinking clearly Try This The next time you start to feel worried, angry, stressed, scared or overwhelmed, say, “I’m about to ‘flip my lid’, I need a break.” Knowing when you are about to “flip your lid” allows you to reconnect the brain by using coping strategies. Once you are calm, you can talk about your feelings and needs. Download this activity and get started today!

Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting, Parenting Tips, Parents, Uncategorized

The Parent Test…Pass or Fail? Beech Acres Parenting Center Reviews The Parent Test

The parenting experts at Beech Acres Parenting Center work with thousands of parents every year.  Fundamentally, we believe:  A show recently premiered in prime time called The Parent Test. Based on the beliefs stated above and after viewing the show, we encourage parents to watch The Parent Test with caution. Or, better yet, avoid it altogether.  First and foremost, parenting is hard…like really hard. Beech Acres approaches parents as unique human beings with a host of innate character strengths. We avoid judging parents as judgment is often rooted in the fact that different is wrong. Our approach is to honor the wide variety of parenting styles and combinations of these styles. Viewing particular parenting styles as right or wrong is fairly judgmental. Each style can be leveraged to raise healthy and happy children.    Family values matter and can enhance parenting styles. Many parents tell us that they have never thought about or identified their own family values. Family values serve as the core of what family members do and explain how you want to live your family life. They may be passed down through generations or new to your family system. Identifying family values can help define expectations and actions for all family members. Once you choose your family’s values, think about how they align with your parenting style.  Examples of family values may include holding doors open for others; no phones at the dinner table; homework guidelines; volunteering to help others; family chores; etc.   The goal of The Parent Test is to find the most effective parenting style with an aim to “crown” the winner. Parents who watch this show may be feeling very vulnerable in comparison to other parents on the show. They may be interested in building their skills within one of the parenting styles defined on the show.  Some parents might not be able to identify with any of the named styles.  This can be really confusing and may cause some parents to feel discouraged or defeated.   Our aim is different.  We are driven to promote positive parenting by utilizing Natural Strength Parenting™, a model created at Beech Acres Parenting Center grounded in Mindful, Intentional, and Strength-based parenting.    Parents who utilize Natural Strength Parenting™ create better confidence, are more satisfied in their parent role, practice self-care routinely, and build a better parent-child relationship.  We believe that these are key drivers to being your best self as a parent.    The Parent Test claims they would like to “make kids emotionally whole.”  Children learn the most from their parents. Parents have a fantastic opportunity to serve as an example and inspiration for how you shape your child’s emotional well-being and skills to self-manage, self-determine, and self-regulate.  There is a host of parenting styles, strengths, and family values that can support your parenting journey.  There is no single approach that can be “crowned” as the best.  Set some intentions that will push you to parent on purpose and with a purpose.  Be in the moment with your kids whenever you have the opportunity to do so.  Put the phone down and play, talk, dance, and be together. Identify your top strengths and name strengths that you see in your child.  Notice how those strengths are used and build that muscle even more.  There is no specific rule book, guide, roadmap, or path to follow that guarantees healthy and happy children.  Just be you!     If you are looking for some help with Natural Strength Parenting™, Beech Acres is always there, and we always care.  Reach out to us to meet with a Parenting Specialist for some individualized coaching.   

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