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Beech Acres, Raising Positive Children

Book Review: Wire Your Brain For Confidence The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt By Louisa Jewell; One Dad’s Perspective 

Guest blogger, Rich Richmond, Marketing Associate What Is Self-Doubt? Early in her book Wire Your Brain For Confidence The Science of Conquering Self-Doubt Louisa Jewell shares a personal story of self-doubt that started her on her journey to becoming an expert in “positive psychology”. The story relates an experience from college where her cheerleading team found a level of success in competition, and despite that success, Jewell was still convinced she should have failed. The overwhelming feeling of self-doubt she felt in spite of the team’s success led her to study how the brain functions in terms of self-doubt and more importantly confidence. This personal story establishes Jewell’s approach and her credibility in an approachable way. It is a good start to a book that is presented as a journey of sorts. Jewell discovered that rapid change and uncertainty were large factors in the self-doubt so many of us feel. Historically change was a rare occurrence. In general, people lived in the same place and did the same things. But as we evolved change accelerated and began having a great impact on the world. “Fast forward four hundred years and you will find that change is the only constant in our lives. Today’s world is fast-paced, complex, and even changing.” Jewell writes. She recognizes as many scientists concur, that our brains cannot deal with these changes quickly enough. This leads to questioning, uncertainty and ultimately self-doubt. What Is Self Efficacy? Jewell’s book is not just about overcoming self-doubt to find confidence. On a deeper level is about self-efficacy. Self-efficacy, how one uses their own personal judgment to act upon certain situations, cannot only inspire confidence, it can lead to real change in overcoming self-doubt. Jewell describes self-efficacy as “the courage to act, that defining moment when you want to say yes but you are stopping yourself.” Her book is designed to give you the tools to say yes. Wire Your Brain For Confidence The Science of Conquering self-doubt is set up as a guide to understanding your brain and finding ways to use that understanding to build confidence. She does so by presenting the research, the brain science, behind her assertions in a scientific yet relatable way. She then turns that research into exercises sprinkled throughout the book that builds on each new understanding. The key is to use these tools to better yourself. Her presentation of the science, relatable stories, and tools for success are an effective presentation. Failure Jewell effectively visits and discusses the topic of failure. What is interesting is not only that she admits that failure is a part of the journey, but that she separates it from self-doubt instead turning it into a tool for confidence. “It is not our failure that matters, it is our recovery,” Jewell writes. “What is truly important is what you say to yourself after.” She spends two chapters late in her book focusing on what to do when you face failure and how to embrace it. The two exercises in these chapters were among my favorites and most useful Separating Facts From Stories and Know Your Resilience Strengths help you focus those failures and really learn from them. Flourishing “You don’t want to just survive, you want to thrive. I call this feeling-being successful but also healthy and happy- flourishing.” I like that Jewell ties everything together on the elevated concept of flourishing. She doesn’t just want you to be successful. Or confident. Or simply happy. She wants you to truly flourish. This idea is powerful and important to all aspects of our lives. This book gives you the science to understand where your lack of confidence stems from, the tools to restore that confidence and the self-efficacy to want to flourish. Woman Inherits the Earth Jewell opens her book with a powerful statement on “Why women need to rule the world”. It reminds me of one of the best scenes in Jurassic Park where Laura Dern’s character ruminates on men destroying the world, being eaten by dinosaurs, and women inheriting the earth. There is no doubt that this book in many ways is aimed at equipping women with tools they can use to overcome self-doubt and flourish. At a time when women’s issues are at the forefront of public discourse, her introduction to the book is relevant, important, and effective. Her tools are universal, and really at this point that is how things should be. I can see using these tools not only personally, but to help build confidence in my daughter. I see her struggle with self-confidence every day. Specifically, Jewell’s tips on recovering from failure (a bad grade on a test, a rough day on the soccer pitch) and using that as an opportunity to build resilience have real value and application in my life as a dad. Wire Your Brain For Confidence The Science of Conquering self-doubt is not surprisingly presented very confidently. The science is not too clinical and even when it starts to be Jewell ties it together in a relatable exercise or story. She ties her holistic approach in with other more familiar success strategies; positive self-image, growth mindset, surrounding yourself with positive people, etc., that make her approach relevant and contemporary. See Louisa Jewell LIVE as Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series presented by Mayerson Academy, Beech Acres Parenting Center, and Children Inc. continues February 15th. Get your tickets here.

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Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Raising Positive Children

An Evening with Lea Waters: Raising Strong Children Recap

On January 11th, Mayerson Academy, Beech Acres Parenting Center and Children, Inc. welcomed author Lea Waters to Cincinnati as part of the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series. Dr. Waters is an Australian psychologist, academic, researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in positive education, parenting, and organizations. Her book, The Strength Switch (see our review here) details the benefits of focusing on and building your child’s strengths before focusing on their weaknesses. The event was a huge success that saw parents leaving with a new perspective on strength-based parenting. Don’t miss the next Raising Positive Children event, Raising Confident Children featuring Lousia Jewell, on February 15th. Louisa Jewell is a speaker, author, positive psychology expert and the founder of the Canadian Positive Psychology Association (www.cppa.ca). She has facilitated thousands of people towards greater flourishing both at work and in their personal lives. Get your tickets now! Mayerson Academy president Jillian Darwish welcomes Dr. Waters to Mayerson Academy. “You do need to work on your child’s weaknesses, there is no doubt about that. The absence of a weakness is not the same as the presence of a strength. If you start with strengths we are starting with them at their best.  -Dr. Lea Waters “When we are talking about strengths-based parenting we are talking about a style of parenting that seeks to connect our children with their unique talents and strengths.” -Dr. Lea Waters “We are hardwired to have strengths. Everyone has them. Everyone has the capacity for resilience. Your child is stronger than you think.”  -Dr. Lea Waters

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Beech Acres, Parenting Tips, Parents, Raising Positive Children, Strengths

Don’t Miss Lea Waters: Raising Strong Children Tomorrow Night at Mayerson Academy!

Don’t miss the first event in the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series tomorrow night at Mayerson Academy! Mayerson Academy and its partners Beech Acres Parenting Center and Children, Inc. are pleased to bring luminaries in the field of positive psychology to our region to share the best in current, applied science for building positive parenting capacity. Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series begins tomorrow as Dr. Lea Waters presents Raising Strong Children January 11th from 6-8 at Mayerson Academy. Lea Waters Ph.D. is an Australian psychologist, academic, researcher, author, and speaker who specializes in positive education, parenting, and organizations. Lea is the 2017-2019 President of the International Positive Psychology Association and serves on the Council of Happiness and Education for the World Happiness Council. She lives in Melbourne, Australia, with her husband, son, and daughter. Get your tickets now!

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Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Book Review: The Strength Switch, By Lea Waters; A Busy Mom’s Perspective

Guest blogger, Nikki Zellen, Director of Marketing Book Review: The Strength Switch, by Dr. Lea Waters As a busy Mom working at Beech Acres Parenting Center (behind the scenes), I am fortunate that sometimes my ‘homework’ helps me with my own kids! I had the pleasure of reading Ms. Waters’ book in advance of her appearance in Cincinnati for Raising Strong Children, part one of the Raising Positive Children: Global Author Series on January 11th at Mayerson Academy. The Strength Switch is laid out in two parts: Laying the Foundation and Building Strengths. In reading the first half, I recognized many of the same academic studies that our social workers casually talk about in the hallways and reference in meetings. However, Ms. Waters breaks them down for parents to understand. The references to the science and studies help the reader develop a belief that this stuff works! Once you start to embrace the opportunity to flip the switch, Ms. Waters provides many activities for different ages to test with your family. My personal favorite was The Praise Puzzle chapter. Ms. Waters provides detailed examples and phrases of how to celebrate your child in a way that builds on their strengths. If your child brings homes a good grade, there are a variety of ways to respond (which I had never really thought about before), which she outlines: Generic Praise: “Good Job!” Process Praise: “You prepared for this test by spending extra time each night reviewing material.   And it worked!” (praising child’s strategy) or “You pulled up your score by a full grade! What do you think you did that helped you improve? (praising child’s improvement) Praise for Character: “Thanks for opening the door! You are a helpful person!” (will internalize moral strengths are within him) Her recommendation: Strength-based Praise, linking a strength with an action. “You’ve used your persistence [strength] to stick to the task of reviewing for this test every night last week [action], even when you were tired and wanted to play computer games.” “…strength-based praise encourages both achievement and good character by connecting kids with the positive forces they unleash through the combined power of their strengths and their actions.” – Lea Waters The book forces parents to stop and think about their word choices and the profound impact they have on our children. Ms. Waters summarizes the book best for us… “Attention on the negative helped us survive. Attention on the positive helps us thrive.”   And we all want our kids to thrive! My one wish, which may be all Moms’ wish, is for more time. The Strength Switch was a little dense to get through, but if you are lucky enough to be near a Beech Acres Parenting Center location… in one hour you will be able to get a taste of Natural Strength Parenting™ with a parenting coach. Our strengths-based approach to parenting is based on many of the same studies mentioned in the book. Set an intention to focus on your parenting this year by reading The Strength Switch and seeing Lea Waters live in Cincinnati on January 11th. Tickets are available here!

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Beech Acres, Parenting Tips

Remember, It Is Important To Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity

Remember, it is important to monitor your children’s online activity and be prepared to talk to them about things they may see on the internet. With the proliferation of digital devices, easy access to the internet, and the popularity of social networks it can be difficult to remain engaged with your child’s online activities, especially for a busy parent. On New Year’s Eve, popular YouTube vlogger Logan Paul posted a video of an apparent suicide while filming with his crew in Japan’s Aokigahara forest. The video titled “We found a dead body in the Japanese Suicide Forest…” was pulled after one day amid a storm of outrage and concern. While the video did contain a disclaimer at the beginning and was not monetized, many found the video to be in poor taste and inappropriate for young potentially impressionable viewers. Paul has since removed the video and apologized. Paul has nearly 20 million followers on his various YouTube channels with over 2 billion views. Many of the 22-year-old’s followers are teenagers. YouTube’s influence on teenagers is vast. According to the National Cyber Security Alliance, 91% of teens between 13 and 17 reports using YouTube regularly and 57% report to having an online account of some type that their parents are not aware of. This means it is critical to be aware of what your kids are doing online. Here are some tips to help you monitor your child’s online activity and how to talk to your kids about things they encounter online. Establish Ground Rules According to the National Cyber Security Alliance’s 2017 survey Keeping Up with Generation App: NCSA Parent/Teen Online Safety Survey, “28% of teens report that their household has no rules about their use of devices”. Of those families that do have rules in place over 70% of teens feel that those rules are effective. Be open about your concerns about your child’s online activity and work with them to establish rules. These rules should extend beyond just not using their devices at dinnertime and should include fair consequences for not following them. Make sure your rules are fair, based on your family’s values, and are focused on your child’s well-being. Monitor Their Activity This one may get some pushback from your teens as an invasion of privacy. Be clear about your concerns. Make sure they understand the things you are looking for (inappropriate content, cyberbullying) and why you are concerned. Look for social media and messaging apps and understand how your child is using those apps. Look through their YouTube and browser history with them and discuss any concerns that may arise. Develop Their Strengths Use this as an opportunity to develop your child’s strengths. Social intelligence, honesty, and perspective are important when being an online citizen. Being aware of the motives of others can be difficult to determine over the internet. Make sure your child is nimble with their thinking when engaging people online. Being open and honest about what they are doing online can help open communication with you. Explain that they are likely to encounter things online that they may disagree with or are not in line with their own values. Being able to look at different perspectives can help them be safer. Talk To Them Rules and monitoring can only go so far. Make sure you are listening to your children and talking to them. Videos like Paul’s or many others they may encounter online can be disturbing and confusing. Be open about topics that may come up and assure your children you are there for them. Seek Help When Necessary https://staysafeonline.org has some great tips for helping your teens stay safe online. Beech Acres Parenting Center offers Parent Coaching to help you deal with various parenting challenges. And of course, suicide, as depicted in the Logan Paul video, is a major concern among teens. Help is available If you need to talk to someone, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

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Beech Acres, Parent Connext™

House of Values: A Parent Connext™ Story

Most parents turn to pediatricians as their trusted source of advice about child-rearing problems. Conversely, many pediatricians worry about the impact family and modern-day stressors have on children’s health. Yet a typical visit to the doctor is a difficult time for the kind of consultation many parents need. Until now. Parent Connext™ was designed by Beech Acres Parenting Center staff with pediatricians to solve this dilemma, in partnership with the Mayerson Center for Safe and Healthy Children at Cincinnati Children’s. The program is funded by Bethesda Inc. and the Mental Health Recovery Services of Warren & Clinton Counties. The aim of Parent ConnextTM is to support, educate and connect parents to the next step on their parenting path. Parenting Specialists are located right in the pediatric practice, making them convenient for parents. Parent Connext™ is on its own journey to demonstrate a positive impact on the quality of children’s health, parent and physician satisfaction, and long- term cost reduction, by intervening in potential future health problems before they get started. In its first seven months, Parent Connext™ has made impressive progress on its three-year journey to demonstrate stronger pediatric health care. Testing in four pediatric offices thus far, as of the end of the fiscal year, 1588 families have been screened during well-child visits for stress from environmental and parenting factors. Beech Acres Parenting Specialists have received a total of 426 referrals, either through the screenings or directly from the pediatricians. Natural Strength Parenting™ provides a framework for success for families. Through our Natural Strength Parenting™ framework, Parenting Specialists encourage parents to: shift from reactive to intentional parenting, focus on developing their child’s natural strengths (and their own), and mindfully notice each moment with their child as an opportunity to deepen their relationship and model important values. One family recently referred to Sue, a Parent Connext™ Parenting Specialist, brought Natural Strength Parenting™ to life in their home. Literally. Frustrated by their son’s big emotions and often aggressive meltdowns, Kelly sought advice from her pediatrician. Sue was there to help. Kelly and husband, Jon, identified living by values-based goals as a priority for their family. With Sue’s guidance and support, they convened a family meeting with their three children to create their family’s goals. They decided to ‘build their house’ out of values. Once they decided what was most important to their family (happiness and joy), the parents and kids examined who they are as a family. These qualities became the foundation for their house of values. An exploration of each member’s natural strengths led them to see that their family is kind, respectful, responsible, accountable, healthy and safe. Building on their strengths of teamwork and creativity, they made a poster together. A house. house of values. It was important for them to quantify what made their family unique. They listed their values as the foundation of the house. Under happiness and joy as the roof, they made a list of tangible items providing structure for their values. After asking each other what their values looked like to them, their answers were: Stay calm when upset (Self-Regulation) Use respectful words (Kindness) Tell the truth (Honesty) When they were finished they had a new perspective on who they are as a family. Upon reflection, Kelly commented, “I found this process very valuable to my family. It has helped me accept who we are and to respond to each other in a more thoughtful way. I’ve also learned some strategies to use to help me respond appropriately during a meltdown. And, I’ve enjoyed learning about meditation. It has been a neat new tool for me to use for myself and with my son.” Kelly and Jon learned several very practical tools by shifting from our typical reactive mode as parents to a more intentional and mindful approach based on a better understanding and appreciation of each family member’s natural strengths. This will help them stay grounded, and together when difficult challenges and stressors arise in their lives going forward. They also have firm validation of their family’s values and love for one another. Parent Connext™services are currently available at select TriHealth/ GroupHealth Associates offices in Anderson and Kenwood, Pediatric Associates of Northern Kentucky and Landen Lake Pediatrics with designs to expand to more offices throughout the Greater Cincinnati area in 2018. Special Thanks to Bethesda Inc. for their support of this program.

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Beech Acres, Natural Strength Parenting™, Services, Strengths

Wrap-Around Support: Wendy’s Story

An important ingredient in serving modern parents is meeting them where they are with appropriate and effective services. This means not only helping them where they are in their parenting journeys but being physically available at convenient locations. To accomplish this, Beech Acres provides services in homes, communities and over 25 local schools. Wendy was first introduced to Beech Acres Parenting Center at her eldest son, David’s school. David was experiencing behavioral issues in school and was connected with mental health services through Beech Acres Parenting Center right at the school. This simple connection to initial services for David started an important journey for Wendy’s family. Wendy’s environment was impacting her personal progress and her ability to raise her family the way she wanted. Negativity from individuals in Wendy’s social sphere was having an unwelcome influence on her and her family. “Wendy felt downtrodden and overwhelmed by her circumstances,” said Sarah, a Therapeutic Service Provider with Beech Acres. “She needed direction and encouragement.” Beech Acres offered Wendy “wrap- around” support for her entire family. In addition to her oldest son, Wendy has two preschoolers. As an early prevention tactic, Wendy’s younger children were enrolled in our Kindergarten Readiness program. The personalized support Wendy and her children received through Kindergarten Readiness helped them identify their own natural strengths as they prepared for success in school. Wendy’s daughter successfully completed the program. Her results on the Bracken School Readiness Assessment demonstrated ‘very advanced’ on the school composite score. Her youngest son continues to participate in the program and is on target developmentally as indicated by the Bracken Assessment. Wendy’s perseverance has led to an improvement in her family’s situation. Not just for her children, but for herself. “Our wrap-around support included helping Wendy achieve her overall personal goals in addition to early learning preparation for her daughter and son,” said Deandre, a Parent Educator with BAPC. “She focused on gaining employment and finding adequate housing for herself and children.” As a result of participating in various programs through Beech Acres Parenting Center Wendy is now gainfully employed and is moving her family into its own home. Deandre continues to engage Wendy and her family in wrap-around services with Family Peer Support and Behavioral Health services. Her family is happily thriving, and her children are prepared for success in school. Her resiliency has altered the trajectory of her life and the lives of her children!

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Beech Acres, Donate, Inspire-a-Family

Inspire-A-Family

This holiday season we invite you to participate in our 2017 holiday program, Inspire-a-Family. We hope that your family will be inspired by kindness to help another local family. Your gifts or generous cash donation allows the families we serve to focus on strengthening their own families without the added stress of buying gifts and necessities this year. Your gift will inspire hope and gratitude in the family that receives your generous donation. If your interested in participating call Courtney Smith at (513) 233‐4774 or send an email to HappyHolidays@BeechAcres.org. To learn more about Inspire-a-Family or to contribute visit our donate page: https://beechacres.org/donate/seasonal-giving-opportunities/

happy adults with kids
Beech Acres

#GivingTuesday

Stronger families mean a stronger community. This #GivingTuesday we invite you to invest in your community by supporting Beech Acres Parenting Center. Beech Acres empowers parents by encouraging them to be intentional with their parenting through Natural Strength Parenting™, our unique strengths-based approach. We strengthen kids through a variety of programs aimed at mental health improvement and prevention in our 3 offices, 5 area pediatric offices, and 20 local schools. Our programs serve over 20,000 people every year! Create a fundraiser on our facebook page or visit our donation page for a variety of ways to support our programs. Thank you! https://beechacres.org/donate/

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Beech Acres, Gratitude, The Character Effect™

Gratitude Tree Activity

Looking for a great strengths-based activity to do with the kids this week? Focus on gratitude by assembling a Gratitude Tree! 1. Download and print The Gratitude Tree activity from our website. 2. Share things you are grateful for while completing the activity. 3. Snap a photo of your completed tree and share it on our facebook page! 4. Be grateful! The Gratitude Tree is brought to you by The Character Effect™. Being Mindful. Building Strengths.

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