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Parent Connext™

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Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Help Your Family Manage The Homework Blues

Helping Your Family Manage the Homework Blues  Homework can sometimes feel like a 2nd job for your kids…and for you too. Nobody likes bringing work home, your kids included. Managing the Homework Blues  First, try and be intentional with your family’s time. Your kids need downtime to relax and decompress after school. We understand that this is not always possible with after-school sports, clubs, dance, etc., but having dedicated time for your child to process their day can ease some of the stress of homework time.  Next, have an open conversation with your child about homework. What is important to your family about completing homework? This can be an excellent teaching opportunity to help your young student understand responsibility and accountability. Make sure you understand and discuss the school’s and the teacher’s expectations as well. Teachers are likely to focus on learning, practice, repetition, and mastery in terms of homework expectations.  Take Off Your Teacher Hat  You do not have to grade, correct, or even watch over your child while they are doing their homework. Let your child take ownership and make mistakes. Remember FAIL is just a first attempt in learning. The point of homework is not for the teacher to know what YOU know, but to assess what the student knows. You can support your child of course, and provide help when needed, but correcting them can create tension and conflict that is unhelpful. And doing the work for them doesn’t help them learn the content or responsibility.  Try to incorporate fun and play when appropriate and remember your child needs time to be a child and just play. If your evenings are overwhelmed by too much homework, check-in with your child’s teacher and let them know it is too much and problem-solve a plan together to reduce the amount of time your child has to do homework. Handling Frustration and Refusal to do Homework  Sometimes children are just overwhelmed. School isn’t just about learning, your child is dealing with friends, other commitments, and strong emotions as they grow up. It’s a lot! So, it’s no wonder sometimes homework can bring on strong emotions even some tears.  If your child is not wanting to do their homework, instead of getting drawn into a power struggle, connect your child with another activity, then get curious about what is really going on. There is likely an unmet need the child has and if you can meet that need, you get more cooperation.  Have your child do something active before you start, eat a snack, and let them choose the best time for them. Do you want to do it before or after dinner? Make it fun and doable. If your child has a lot of homework, chunk it out, and give lots of breaks with fun rewards like playing a game or going outside.  Homework can cause lots of frustrations, power struggles, and stress within your family. Knowing how to help your child manage that stress can take the pain out of homework time and return some sense of sanity to your busy evening routines. 

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Natural Strength Parenting™, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Helping Emotionally Sensitive Boys Manage Their Emotions Positively

Boys Have Feelings Too Pre-teenage boys bring with them a wide range of complicated and unique issues. Recently we helped a family navigate some challenges related to emotional sensitivity that may sound familiar to you. Their 12-year-old son was having trouble processing and expressing emotions, especially around specific stressors. He was quick to react negatively to even seemingly basic or otherwise non-confrontational conversation. He remarked that he felt that he was being yelled at ‘all the time’. Further, he would quit trying and become frustrated when facing a loss in sports. Sound familiar? Read on for tips from our parenting experts on handling emotionally sensitive pre-teen boys. During the pre-teen years, emotions can have a stronghold on both boys and girls. This can be as frustrating for parents as it is scary for kids. How those emotions get expressed depends on many factors. Knowing our own expectations, how our brains are wired, and ways to support, (not change) children, is key. Social Cues and Unconscious Expectations We live in a world that dictates to us, less so now than in previous generations but still exists, gender-approved responses. A little girl can cry without the same response that a little boy might receive. If a little girl keeps her emotions to herself, she may be seen as snobby or uncaring. Imagine this message for a boy about to be a teen! Unconsciously we encourage certain behaviors from our children so it’s important to check in with ourselves about those expectations. Where does our emotional gauge land? How different are we from our children? Check in with their teacher about the ‘language of emotion’ in the classroom. How is the teacher supporting a range of emotions equally from both genders and how is emotional regulation being encouraged? Beech Acres may be in your child’s school. Click to learn more. Brain Science/Development We are born into the world equipped with many of our personality traits (temperament for example). These differences that are grounded in one’s biological makeup present diverse challenges for parents who must respond to different kinds of children. When it comes to finding the ‘best approach’, one size does not fit all. In addition, as young children develop, their early emotional experiences literally build from their biological makeup and become embedded into the architecture of their brains. Knowing that it is part of our wiring as to how we respond to our inner and outside world helps. At no other time in a child’s life will they go through more emotional, physical, and cognitive changes than they do in their teens. An 11-year-old is ‘next door’ to that time in his life so everything is amplified. This can fuel or intensify emotions making a sensitive child seem even more so. Emotional sensitivity happens in two ways: One is how tuned in to their own feelings and how tuned in to other people’s feelings they are. Developmentally, children can experience one or the other differently. It can seem like ‘he does not care how his reaction makes me feel, he just seems to care about how it makes him feel”. What Can Parents Do? Working with your child’s sensitivity, and appreciating this strength for all the wonderful benefits it provides him throughout life is a good place to start. Celebrate those advantages with him so that he does not feel as if there is something wrong with him. Share without judgment that is tuned in to how they feel is such a good thing AND it can also create some pretty strong feelings that take hold and can make us feel like we have no control.” Get curious: “do you notice how that happens for you?” You might share “when I have a strong reaction, I can feel it in my stomach. And I might say something that I later regret. What about you?” Using the language of emotion will help you to have this conversation. Get creative and curious. Role play with him. “Can you help me hear how my response should be so that it does not sound like yelling to you?” Watch a show together and notice how people speak differently to one another and talk about how you may hear the response differently and why: we listen to one another through our ‘filters’. You can make a mask with words on the front that are ways we hear others and on the inside how those words make us feel. A 12-year-old said his ‘outside word’ was “you need to” and his inside word was “you are not good enough”. Identifying one of his strengths, ask how he might use that to understand that a person’s tone is not always how we ‘filter’ it. Give examples of how you have misinterpreted a person’s response. Be clear about expectations. “I feel disrespected when you talk back to me”. Teaching children to pause is a great way for them to learn to be less reactive. Ask, “How can you help yourself to pause before responding because when you talk back I stop listening and that does not get either of us anywhere.” Follow up with that question: “How will that make a difference in the way that we solve the problem? What can I do to help?” “When you are disrespectful you lose……and I know that is not what you want to have happen.” Every parent has a different rule about sports, but the coach is also a partner in this. Ask him/her how she handles ‘sore loser’ syndrome and what are some ways that you can support their message. Ask your son when he does not accomplish what he hoped to do (a good way to phrase that), what are some ways that he can improve on what he is doing. Ask what he tells himself about not accomplishing what he thought he should. Where does that expectation come from? How are others doing on the team? How does he measure success in his own mind? Ask him to

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character strengths, Mindfullness, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips, Parents

Let’s Get Started With Natural Strength Parenting™

Parenting Is Hard! Being a parent is the most important and challenging job you’ll ever do! Natural Strength Parenting™ can help you navigate the challenging times and enjoy your child more. What is Natural Strength Parenting™ Natural Strength Parenting™ is a unique approach to parenting that encourages you to be intentional and mindful in your parenting while focusing on your child’s innate strengths. Building on their strengths will increase their confidence, self-esteem, and resilience, all of which lead to positive well-being. Natural Strength Parenting™ combines intentionality, the 24 character strengths, and the positive psychology of mindfulness into an effective parenting model that can have a profound impact on your family. Start By Being Intentional To be intentional is to live a proactive, purposeful life instead of a reactive life on auto-pilot.Here are some simple steps to get started with intentionality. • Stop asking your children, ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ ask them ‘Who do you want to be when you grow up? What type of adult?’• Take a moment to contemplate what you want your children to say about you in your eulogy.Bigger Steps:• Write down your values as a family. Here is a true story of one family.• Color a family crest together from the Natural Strength Parenting™ Starter Kit. Discover Your Family’s Strengths Did you know everyone has 24 character strengths inside of them? Natural energy comes from using our top 5 – but all are inside! Human’s reflex is to fix what’s wrong… but brain science has taught us by encouraging your children’s strengths builds the resilience and skills to resist the negative influences surrounding them. Here are some simple steps to get started with strengths. • Try replacing the phrase ‘good job’ with something more specific. ‘It was brave of you to sign-up for that activity without knowing anyone.’ ‘You really persevered working through that social studies project.’ You are strength-spotting! Bigger Steps: • Either take the complete VIA Character Strength survey at their website or try the shorter version in our ‘starter kit’ and then plot out your family in the table! Practice Mindfulness We can only see our child(ren)’s strengths if our minds are open to them and purposely noticing what she/he is doing. Likewise, we can only set a specific intention for the future if we are aware of our current situation. Start with these simple steps to implement mindfulness. • Take a breath.• Play and put down the smartphone – try the Forest app Bigger Steps: • Teach your kids, S.T.O.P. and encourage them to use it before MAP tests, their next game; music recitals… or when they are about to lose it with a sibling. Putting It All Together You set an intention to raise a strong, independent daughter. You can reinforce this intention by making subtle changes in everyday moments. You’re in a hurry to get home after basketball practice. Your default might be to snap “Get in thecar. We’re running late.” Instead, you could remember your intention and mindfully engage.You might recall that she was afraid to try out for the team. “You used your strength of bravery when you tried out for the team.” Ask a powerful question in the moment: “What new thing did you learn today that will help you be a better player? I want to hear about it on the way home, but we’ve got to gobecause we’re running late today.” See how a small change can make a big difference?

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Natural Strength Parenting™, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips, Parenting Tips, Parents

Get More of the Behavior You Want from Your Children with These Tips from Parent Connext™

Get More of the Behavior You Want from Your Children with These Tips from Parent Connext™ Quality Time Spend quality one-on-one time with your child—try 5-10 minutes per day with no distractions. Remember that CONNECTION BUILDS COOPERATION. Spend quality time with your child – Quality one-on-one time (where your child is in charge of how you play or what you do) builds connection between the parent and child. That connection encourages cooperation. Parent By Example Parent by example – Model the behavior you want to see. If you want your children to be respectful, treat them with respect. Model the behavior you want to see. Remember that children learn a lot by observing us– sometimes more than from our words. Give your child lots of positive attention – Use positive reinforcement to encourage the behavior you want. Tell them ‘thank you’ when they are doing what you asked them to do. Praise them. Be appreciative of the behavior you like. Set Proper Expectations for your Child and Yourself Prep your child for challenging situations in advance. For example, “We are going to the store. We are only buying what is on the list.” Or “We need to leave in 5 minutes.” Check your expectations. Children are going to misbehave. Testing boundaries and limits are important aspects of their development. Your power is in how you choose to respond. Be Consistent – Children thrive on knowing what to expect (i.e. morning and bedtime routines) Have realistic expectations – Be aware of what is developmentally appropriate for your child given their age and temperament. For example, a toddler can’t be expected to sit through a 1-2 hour dinner. Prevent and minimize problems by communicating expectations in advance – To a teen, you might say, “I expect you to be home at midnight, that means in the house at 12.” To a child, “We are stopping at the store for a few things, but we aren’t buying anything that isn’t on our list.” Be aware of what you are modeling – This one is worth repeating. Our children learn a lot by watching us. If you don’t want your child to yell, don’t yell. If you don’t want your child to swear, don’t swear. Connect Before You Direct – Make sure you have your child’s attention, touch their arm, get down on their level before making a request. Share Power- When you can, allow your child some say. Children want to have some control, as we all do. It can be as simple as letting them choose if they want to brush their teeth or put on their pajamas first before bed. Use Empathy – When we can be open to our child’s emotions and accept them, whether negative or positive, they are more easily soothed and comforted.

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Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Show Your Child “I love you” In Meaningful Ways

February brings to mind all things LOVE! By using mindfulness, we can show our love to our family in different ways every day. Knowing the 5 Love Languages can help us show our loved ones “I love you” in the ways that will mean the most to each of them as an individual. Get curious-What do you think is your child’s #1 love language? Talk to your child. Ask them “How do you know I love you?” See how they respond. Make an effort to show your child that you love them using Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. Give them a hug and say “I love you” or offer them a back rub and tell them you’re proud of them. Show your child that you love them by giving them a small Gift(s) and by spending Quality Time with them. Buy them their favorite snack or a special treat. Play or take a walk together. Show your child you love them by completing an Act(s) of Service. Do one of their chores for them or help them with something they can do for themselves.

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Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Get Beech Acres Parenting Center Parenting Courses Delivered Right to Your Phone

Parenting is CHALLENGING! Parenting is the most important (and challenging) job you’ll ever do. Today’s rapidly changing world is creating a lot of stress for families, both parents and children alike. Sometimes it is difficult to find time to really be present with your kids. For over 170 years, Beech Acres Parenting Center has strengthened Greater Cincinnati’s children & families. Now, you can get our cumulative parenting experience delivered right to your phone wherever you are and whenever you’re ready. Introducing Natural Strength Parenting™ To Go, Exclusive Text-based Parenting Courses from Beech Acres Parenting Center Beech Acres Parenting Center is excited to bring our years of parenting experience and our unique, innovative solutions to parents everywhere through text-based courses designed to help you approach your parenting challenges at your own pace. These courses deliver proven advice for common parenting challenges in easy to understand text messages delivered right to your phone. These innovative solutions are simple, effective, and a breeze to implement into your daily parenting routine. Welcome to Natural Strength Parenting™ To Go! Natural Strength Parenting™, Our Unique Approach to Parenting Today’s children are growing up in a much different, much more complex and more rapidly changing world than you did. You know parenting is your most important job, but realize it’s also the hardest. We believe the answer is building resilience through a strength-based approach… and the first step could be intentionally building on kindness. Natural Strength Parenting™, our unique approach to parenting, is a framework woven into all our programs at Beech Acres Parenting Center. It uncovers the natural gifts of children by unleashing the power of parents and caregivers. Our text-based courses bring Natural Strength Parenting™ right to you. No appointments, office visits, or another app cluttering up your phone. Just simple parenting advice from parenting experts who want to help you boost your parenting skills and improve your relationship with your child. Of course, if you want to go further, we offer parent coaching from the same parenting specialists who designed these courses. Get Started Today! Ready to get started? Visit our learning dashboard and get started today! Available Courses Choose from our currently available courses and check back regularly to see what’s new. Natural Strength Parenting 101 Welcome to Natural Strength Parenting 101! This seven-day course explores ways to positively utilize you and your child’s natural emotional strengths in your unique parenting journey. Using a strength-based approach aims to improve parenting quality and the quality of relationships between parents and their children. Click to get started today! Parenting Infants & Toddlers Parenting Infants and Toddlers is a five-day course designed to share information about physical, cognitive, and emotional traits in infants and toddlers during their respective developmental phases. Click to get started today! Parenting Preschool and Elementary Aged Children Parenting Preschool and School-Aged Children is a six-day course designed to share information about physical, cognitive, and emotional traits in preschool and elementary school-aged children during their respective developmental phases. Click to get started today! Parenting Teens Parenting Pre-Teens and Teenagers is a six-day course designed to share information about physical, cognitive, and emotional traits in tweens and teenagers during their respective developmental phases. Click to get started today! Single and Solo Parenting Welcome to Single and Solo Parenting! This five-day course explores some basic aspects of Single Solo Parenting, such as the difference between the two and building support systems. Click to get started today! ADHD Basics Welcome to ADHD and ADD Basics! This five-day course explores some basic aspects of ADHD and ADD and how to spot them. This course will provide you with essential skills to help identify ADHD and ADD in yourself and your family. Click to get started today! Transgender Youth – Support And Care Welcome to Understanding and Supporting Transgender Youth, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to who and what the term “transgender” refers to. You’ll also learn ways to support transgender youth while they learn about and express their gender identity. Click here to get started! Mindfulness With Intentionality Welcome to Mindfulness with Intentionality! This five-day course explores some basic concepts of mindfulness and how you can utilize them to set intentions for personal goals in your life. Any kind of intention that you would like to set can be used within this course. Let’s get started. Intentionality With Family Values Welcome to Intentionality with Family Values! This five-day course explores what your family’s shared values consist of and how you can implement them into your daily life to make a positive impact on your family. Click here to begin this course. Talking To Your Kids About Race Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Race! This five-day course explores some basic aspects of several aspects of race with your children of all ages. This course will provide you with basic skills to help start a conversation about race, expose your child to differences with race, learn how to handle difficult topics, and more. Click here to begin this important conversation. Helping Highly Sensitive Children Welcome to Helping Highly Sensitive Children, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to who highly sensitive children are and what you can do as a caregiver to help them. You’ll also learn techniques to utilize to help further understand your child’s emotions and help them feel validated and supported. Click here for this course. Talking To Your Kids About Divorce Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Divorce, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to talking to your children about divorce and how to keep them informed throughout the process.

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Mindfullness, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Soothing Sun, A Mindful Activity from Parent Connext™

Mindful moments help the brain and body calm, connect and clarify. When this happens, it is easier for our brain to make helpful and wise decisions. Being in this present moment, allows us to take better care of ourselves and others. Try This: Use your finger and start in the center of the sun. As you trace the spiral outward, repeat: “I am calm. I am calm. I am calm.” Next, trace the spiral back inward and repeat, “I am safe. I am safe. I am safe.” Then, trace the spiral outward and repeat, “I am loved. I am loved. I am loved.” Repeat these steps as many times as needed until you feel calm, safe, and loved. Family Follow Up: Practice the soothing sun technique 2 or 3 times every day with your child. If practiced when calm, it will be easier to use. Hang the picture as a reminder to practice. The motion of spiraling in and out with the finger, with the calming self-talk, can be used without the picture. Your child (or you) can make the same motion on any safe surface, such as a desk, the palm of the hand, the sleeve of a shirt, or the carpet at circle time. Ask your child: “How did you feel before you used the soothing sun? After? What did you notice about your body?” Download this activity here.

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Mindfullness, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips

Mindful Practices from Parent Connext™

Mindful Practices Most of us are moving at the speed of light, engaged in innovative and exciting new projects that play to our strengths yet we can feel overwhelmed with deadlines and the task lists that often accompany them. Mindful practices can help. There are different skills emphasized in various mindful practices so that youcan feel more accomplished and less stressed: Presence Instruction which heightens attentiveness to vision, sound and taste (calming when you are feeling stressed), Affect Training that allows for greater compassion, empathy and acceptance (we are hardest on ourselves during stressful times) and Perspective Training to help a person reflect on the perspective of another person and minimize unproductive and energy-draining negative thoughts and feelings (creating stress not reducing it). To achieve a greater mind-body balance, a sense of calm and to be more productive, try one of these. Or several. Informal Practice 1. Breathing. This can be done anywhere at any time. Try this before a meeting or just while sitting at your desk. All you have to do is be still and focus on your breath for at least one minute. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth; one cycle should last about 6 seconds. Feel yourself breathing from your belly-the deeper the breath, the more beneficial it is as it brings oxygen to all parts of you. Try to stay focused on your breathing but if thoughts come to mind, its o.k., just notice them and then focus back on your breath. One minute is good, two or three is even better. 2. Listening. We are influenced by our past experiences so when we are experiencing stress we unconsciously and automatically respond in similar ways to a current situation. Your mind says ‘here we go again’ and all parts of you respond accordingly. When we listen from a more conscious, mindful state, we can achieve a neutral presence that lets us hear sound without preconception. You can listen to music, the sounds of birds outside of your window or any other sound that captures your attention to practice this. Just listen without judging. Training yourself to do this will allow you to be more accepting and less critical both of yourself and of others. 3. Leave It. There is no such thing as work-life balance. It is more about work-life integration. We think about our personal lives at work and our professional lives at home. But being mindful as you transition from one place to the other can keep stress at bay. Whether it be a mantra, breathing, or whatever else you choose, create the space that allows you to consciously shift gears from one place to the other. Formal Practice Mindful Awareness 4. Observation. This practice is designed to help us connect to things that are important in our environment since we so easily miss them when we are in a hurry. While in your office, choose an object to focus on that holds special meaning to you. It might be a picture of your favorite place or a family member, artwork or a saying. It can also be something that you wear. Focus on that object as if you are looking at it for the first time. Notice the details. If it’s a picture, the features or the material that you chose for the frame. What feeling does this object create? The way that you are experiencing this object is unique to you and important enough that you have it at work as a reminder. Taking a deep breath in gratitude for the positive feelings it likely brings you can shift stressful thinking, reigniting the energy you need for your day. 5. Immersion. The intention of this activity is to cultivate contentment in the moment and escape the persistent striving we find ourselves caught up in on a daily basis. Rather than anxiously wanting to finish something so that we can get on to the next thing we are thinking about, fully experience each task as you are doing it. If you are prepping for a meeting, pay attention to the tasks you are working on in the moment for that meeting. Creating an entirely new experience by being fully engaged and noticing every moment that you are dedicating to that task. Do not let other disruptions shift your attention. You’ll find that the anxiousness and dread you feel in completing the task lessens and you may even find it enjoyable. 6. Appreciation. This one is simple and yet very powerful. Notice 5 things that other people say or do in a day that may go unnoticed or unappreciated. Let them know. When you give thanks and gratitude to people, work life is automatically less stressful. And it’s contagious so it gets paid forward. Mindful Movement 7. Movement. When you are feeling tired or restless from sitting at your desk, simply get up and stretch. However it feels best to you. Pull your left arm over your body to the right and again the opposite way. Move your shoulders up and down. Move your neck in a circular motion. This small but powerful spurt of energy allows your mind and body to refuel and is a great stress reliever. 8. Mindful Walking. The practice of mindful movement can help students and adults relax and manage their own stress. Start off by practicing mindful walking as a group. It iseasy to walk mindfully, you start off by finding a short path to walk to and from in your classroom. You can also form a large circle and have everyone slowly walk in the same direction around the circle. Have your students practice this in silence. The key to mindful walking is to notice the feelings and sensations in your legs, notice how each step feels and sounds. As your mind wanders and thinks about other things, bring your attention back to your feet and legs. You may even offer the students the opportunity to take off their shoes. By practicing without your shoes on you really can feel

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Intentional, Parent Connext™

Resolve to be the Parent You WANT to Be: Intention Setting for the New Year

The start of the NEW YEAR is a great time to reflect on the year past and make resolutions for the coming year. While you are thinking about your work and personal goals, reflect on your role as a parent as well.  What does it mean to be Intentional? “Done on purpose, deliberate.” –Oxford Languages To bring committed focus and attention to something important to you. When you are being intentional, you choose to make decisions and take actions based on what’s important to you. Being intentional means getting clear upfront about your values and what you want to achieve. How Can I Be More Intentional? Identify your top values. “Values light the way.” A value is “a way of being or believing that you find most important.”- Brene’ Brown Discuss your top VALUES as a family. Can you agree to the top few values you hold as a family? Display your values in a visible place to serve as a reminder for your family (the refrigerator, your calendar, put a post-it on the bathroom mirrors). Use mindfulness: Be fully present, at the moment, aware of what we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive and overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.”- mindful.org Plan your day and time in accordance with your values as much as possible. We all have to work, go to the grocery store, do the laundry, etc., but we can choose how we show up in those moments and how we spend the other time we have in our day. Be clear on the result you want. Visualize how you want things to look a year from now. Keep that “picture” in your mind on a day-to-day basis to guide your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Refocus and Reinforce: Use mindfulness to regain focus. Remind yourself of your values and intentions frequently. Go further by connecting with a Parenting Specialist TODAY!

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character strengths, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Spotlight On My Strengths Parent Connext Edition

Each of us has an essential strength profile as unique as our thumbprint. When you discover your strengths, you can use them and enjoy life more, as well as handle stress and deal with life’s challenges. Parent Connext™ is available to help you with your everyday parenting challenges. Parent Connext™ is flexible and uniquely positioned to help parents improve protective factors, including; -Building parent resilience-Improving knowledge of parenting and child development-Understanding child social & emotional growth,-Improving social connections-Providing support in times of need. Parent Connext™ can assist with supporting healthy behaviors for you and your family. Your Parenting Specialist is your partner in parenting and wants you to succeed! Get started by completing the Spotlight on my Strengths survey to discover YOUR strengths today!

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