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Info graphic with information about Natural Strength Parenting and a photo of a father and child high fiving
Natural Strength Parenting™, Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips, Parenting Tips, Parents

Get More of the Behavior You Want from Your Children with These Tips from Parent Connext™

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Get More of the Behavior You Want from Your Children with These Tips from Parent Connext™ Quality Time Spend quality one-on-one time with your child—try 5-10 minutes per day with no distractions. Remember that CONNECTION BUILDS COOPERATION. Spend quality time with your child – Quality one-on-one time (where your child is in charge of how you play or what you do) builds connection between the parent and child. That connection encourages cooperation. Parent By Example Parent by example – Model the behavior you want to see. If you want your children to be respectful, treat them with respect. Model the behavior you want to see. Remember that children learn a lot by observing us– sometimes more than from our words. Give your child lots of positive attention – Use positive reinforcement to encourage the behavior you want. Tell them ‘thank you’ when they are doing what you asked them to do. Praise them. Be appreciative of the behavior you like. Set Proper Expectations for your Child and Yourself Prep your child for challenging situations in advance. For example, “We are going to the store. We are only buying what is on the list.” Or “We need to leave in 5 minutes.” Check your expectations. Children are going to misbehave. Testing boundaries and limits are important aspects of their development. Your power is in how you choose to respond. Be Consistent – Children thrive on knowing what to expect (i.e. morning and bedtime routines) Have realistic expectations – Be aware of what is developmentally appropriate for your child given their age and temperament. For example, a toddler can’t be expected to sit through a 1-2 hour dinner. Prevent and minimize problems by communicating expectations in advance – To a teen, you might say, “I expect you to be home at midnight, that means in the house at 12.” To a child, “We are stopping at the store for a few things, but we aren’t buying anything that isn’t on our list.” Be aware of what you are modeling – This one is worth repeating. Our children learn a lot by watching us. If you don’t want your child to yell, don’t yell. If you don’t want your child to swear, don’t swear. Connect Before You Direct – Make sure you have your child’s attention, touch their arm, get down on their level before making a request. Share Power- When you can, allow your child some say. Children want to have some control, as we all do. It can be as simple as letting them choose if they want to brush their teeth or put on their pajamas first before bed. Use Empathy – When we can be open to our child’s emotions and accept them, whether negative or positive, they are more easily soothed and comforted.

Social and Emotional Development flyer with a photo of two parents laughing with their two kids
Parent Connext™, Parenting Tips, Parenting Tips, Parents

Understanding and Supporting Your Child’s Social and Emotional Development

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Defining Social and Emotional Development Social and emotional development refers to how children begin to understand who they are, what emotions they are experiencing, and what to expect when interacting with others. Your child’s social and emotional development will inform how they: •Establish and sustain positive relationships with others.  •Experience, manage and express their feelings.  •Explore, understand and interact with the world around them. “Parents and caregivers play the biggest role in social and emotional development because they offer the most consistent relationships for their child. To nurture your child’s social and emotional development, it is important that you actively engage in quality interactions on a daily or regular basis, depending on the age of your child*.” Understanding and Supporting Your Child’s Social and Emotional Development Every time you see your child after separation (first thing in the morning, after a nap or school), take a moment to connect with them. Smile, have a hug, ask about their day. Let them know you’re happy to see them. Practice active listening and reflect back what your child has said. If your child is too young to talk, you can still describe the emotions they are expressing (i.e. you’re sad because your toy broke.) Explore Emotion Wheels: naming your emotions & help your child identify theirs. Allow whatever feelings arise. Notice that it eventually fades. Read a book or watch a movie together about friends, cooperation, helping each other, emotions, or empathy. *helpmegrow.org

Meme of a yellow loader trying to dig out a large ship with text that says "Unconscious bias/Diversity and inclusion training" and "Systemic racism"
Diversity, Parenting Tips, Parents

Addressing Inequity and Bias with Your Children

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Guest Blogger Amanda McDermott, Team Lead, Beyond the Classroom As I reflect on the events unfolding before us, it is clear, there is so much work to be done. I am reminded of an image I saw recently. While we slowly work as a community to make progress toward systemic change such as demanding police reform, negotiating housing reform, education reform, and much more, change will not come about until values and principles of respecting equitable rights in Americans’ homes are instilled. True change will be seen when we hold one another accountable for parenting our children using awareness, empathy, and compassion. As parents, we must keep our children responsible for their individual behavior and teach them the value of all people. It is in true compassion and true understanding that we begin to comprehend the substantial impact that our differences have on our lives. As a 10 and 14-year-old white children parent, my responsibility lies in educating them on a world full of inequities and biases, teaching them to learn and grow in their place in this world. Children learn best by example. Our kids look to us to model the behavior that we want to see from them. As my kids watch me acknowledge and make an effort to correct my own unconscious bias, they will learn that our work on ourselves is never complete. We must work on ourselves each day, to be better than the person we were the day before, for the good of ourselves and for the good of all people. For me, in addition to acknowledging my unconscious bias’, this starts with kindness. Emphasizing the significant effect that being kind can have on another individual is key. In addition, I use everyday conversations about what my kids are encountering in their lives each day and using playful curiosity to help them broaden their perspective. It is important to me that my children understand that each of us struggles with something and that most of the other’s behaviors are a direct result of their own internal struggle that we have no idea about as an outsider experiencing the situation. Lastly, teaching my kids to use their own privilege to stand up for the rights of others who do not share in that privilege is essential. When we have the means to do good for another or keep another from harm (psychological or physical), it is our responsibility to do so. To summarize, as parents, we must teach our children by modeling the behavior we want to see in them through: acknowledging our own bias and making an effort to correct it. using kindness in our everyday interactions holding ourselves and our children accountable for our actions and behaviors using our place of privilege to help others.

Multi-colored Beech Acres Parenting Center Strength Spotting Certificate
character strengths, COVID-19, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents

Strength Spotting Certificate

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Everyone has their own individual unique strengths inside them (24 to be exact!). While you may be home with your children why not set an intention to spot your kid’s strengths and let them know when you see them using them? This strengths-based approach helps your child build resilience and be more confident. Start by learning more about the 24 character strengths by completing the VIA Character Strengths Survey with your family. Once you know your child’s strengths, take the time to be aware of those strengths and point them out every time you see your child using them. Download and print our Strength Spotting Certificate as an easy way to recognize and celebrate your child’s strengths. Want to learn more about a strengths-based approach to parenting? Visit our website to learn more about Natural Strength Parenting, our unique approach to parenting.

COVID Action Plan BAPC graphic
Activities, COVID-19, Parenting Tips, Parents

COVID-19 Family Action Plan

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Make a COVID-19 Family Action Plan During this unprecedented time of uncertainty during the coronavirus/COVID-19 public health crisis, you may find yourself at home with your kids with plenty of time on your hands. If this is your situation you still have work to do and they still have schoolwork to complete, so let’s make a plan. Download our family action plan and keep your family on track during the next few weeks. Be sure to bookmark our blog, sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook for more daily activities. Family Schedule Keep your family on track during your time at home by building a daily schedule together. Use your strengths of teamwork and fairness to make sure everyone contributes and has time for their individual priorities. Family Intentions You may already have some house rules your family follows regularly. Take this opportunity to revisit those or create some based on your family values and your priorities during this time. Family Goals What would you like to get done over the next few weeks?

Photo of a mom and dad kneeling on the ground with their son and daughter
character strengths, Mindfullness, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

Getting Started With Natural Strength Parenting™

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Getting Started With Natural Strength Parenting NEW! Get started with Natural Strength Parenting™ with this FREE 7-day text course ! “I just can’t do this,” your child sighs in frustration after working on one math problem for a half hour. “Some kids are being mean to me at school,” your child quietly confides to you after coming home with a tear in their favorite hoodie. “I hate you!” Your child shouts as they slam their bedroom door. (They don’t mean it!) Parenting Can Be Challenging! Parenting is the most important (and challenging) job you’ll ever do. Today’s rapidly changing world is creating a lot of stress for families, both parents and children alike. Sometimes it is difficult to find time to really be present with your kids. A New Approach Natural Strength Parenting™ is a unique approach to parenting from Beech Acres Parenting Center. Natural Strength Parenting™ encourages you to be intentional and mindful in your parenting while focusing on your child’s innate strengths. Building on their strengths will increase their confidence, self-esteem, and resilience all of which lead to positive well-being. We promise these skills aren’t hard, and more of your conversations will be about what’s going right vs. what they did wrong! Be Intentional, Focus On Their Strengths, and Be Mindful About Being In The Moment With Them Setting an intention is as simple as asking yourself two questions: 1. Who do YOU want to be as a parent? 2. What kind of person do you want your child to be? Let’s say you set an intention for your daughter to be a strong, independent woman. You can reinforce this intention by making subtle changes in everyday moments. After rushing to pick her up from basketball practice and get home in time for dinner it’s easy to say; “Get in the car! We’re late for dinner.” But imagine what it would look like to mindfully engage with them in the moment. Recall that intention and remember how scared she was to try out for the team. What strength did she use? “Thank you for using your strength of bravery to try out for the basketball team.” Ask a powerful question to get start a meaningful conversation. “What new thing did you learn today that helps you be a better player? I want to hear about it on the way home, but we’ve got to go since we’re running behind today.” See how a small change can make a big difference? Let’s Get Started! Have every member of your family complete the Spotlight on my Strengths Survey. Once you’ve discovered everyone’s innate strengths you can build on those strengths by “spotting” your kids using them every day. Ready For More? Our website has a variety of valuable resources, fun activities, and creative exercises to help you bring Natural Strength Parenting™ to life in your family. Natural Strength Parenting™ is the culmination of over 170 years of parenting experience at Beech Acres Parenting Center. For the first time, intentionality, mindfulness, and character strengths are working together in a fun, seamless framework that can make a big difference for your family. Learn more about Natural Strength Parenting™ by visiting our website or schedule a one- hour Natural Strength Parenting™ coaching session with one of our child development experts. Get started with Natural Strength Parenting today! #NaturalStrengthParenting #ParentPurposefully #ParentMindfully #ParentStrong

Photo of a mother turning on a sink faucet as her two children hold out their hands to wash them
Anxiety, COVID-19, Parenting Tips, Parents

Reassuring Your Children About The Coronavirus. Tips from Dr. Christopher Bolling

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Reassuring Your Children About The Coronavirus. Tips from Dr. Christopher Bolling Reassuring your kids during times of uncertainty is very important for your family’s well-being. As news of the coronavirus and its related respiratory disease COVID-19 continues to spread, Beech Acres Parenting Center board member and Pediatrician at Pediatric Associates of Northern Kentucky, Dr. Christopher F. Bolling has some tips to help parents navigate this developing scenario with your children. Tips From a Pediatrician Today the coronavirus/COVID 19 was declared a pandemic by the World Health Organization (WHO), and the city of Cincinnati declared a state of emergency. This news and these terms can be scary. Remember though, “pandemic” is just a term that allows governments and other agencies to talk about the developing situation around the globe. It enables them to say, ‘this is something we need to deal with, together, as a planet’. They declare it a pandemic to mobilize people to understand that this is something we need to control. Control Measures Work There is good evidence that control measures work. What happens when you implement control measures is that you slow the spread of the virus and allow health care professionals to take care of the sick. The goal is not to overwhelm the health care system so they can adapt and take care of sick people. Control measures help the health care system cope with the situation more effectively. Talk To Your Kids As with any serious conversation, you need to have with your children, whether it be death, serious illness, or a term like ‘pandemic,’ let your kids lead the conversation. Answer their questions fully. Be responsive and sensitive to what they are asking you. They may have questions or concerns such as; ‘Is it dangerous?’ Tell them, yes, it can be scary, especially for older people, but for kids, it’s not as scary. ‘I’m worried about grandma getting sick.” Let them know there are things we can do to protect the people we care about, like washing our hands, staying away from others if we are sick, and checking in on them via FaceTime or Skype to make sure they are OK. Give your children concrete things they can do. Parse the information out in easy to digest pieces, so it’s easier for them to understand. Let them guide you. Pause the conversation if they shut down on you as too much information can be overwhelming. While COVID-19 appears to be the most severe for the elderly it is still very important to take precautions with your children . Kids’ resistance does, however, make control more difficult because they may be asymptomatic and able to transmit the illness without any outward signs of illness.  So, it is even more critical that they are following preventive measures like hand washing, social distancing, and staying home when they are sick. Stay Connected With Your Doctor, Practice Preventative Measures, and Stay Informed In the coming days and weeks, stay in close contact with your doctor’s office, and see what recommendations they may have. Visit their website, read any emails or other communications they share, and talk to their nurses. Things may be a little different than what you are used to at your doctor’s or pediatrician’s office, so pay close attention to how your practice is directing you. Every office will be different. Standard protections should continue in effect; again, hand washing, staying home when you’re sick, and limiting visits to the sick or elderly. During this time, you should pay special attention to any respiratory symptoms such as coughing or shortness of breath. If you have those symptoms, please call your doctor. Finally, the most important thing is to pay attention to local authorities and medical professionals about exposure. If they say stay home, stay home. These decisions are based on information from public health experts in your community and have everyone’s best interests in mind. Practice good infection control measures and stay informed with facts. Christopher F. Bolling is a pediatrician at Pediatric Associates, P.S.C. and an active board member at Beech Acres Parenting Center.

Photo of two parents telling their child about their divorce as the child frowns
divorce, Parenting Tips, Parents

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce: Telling Your Kids

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Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce NEW! Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Divorce, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this FREE text-based course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to talking to your children about divorce and how to keep them informed throughout the process. The decision to divorce usually is achieved after intentional thought and careful consideration. While you may not have chosen to experience divorce, you do have a choice in the way you approach this crisis, especially with your children. Divorce is complicated and painful but be assured that you and your children can move forward. You can decide to be a good role model for your children and turn what could be a devastating experience into an opportunity for growth and a fulfilling future. This process begins with letting your children know about your intention to divorce. Telling Your Kids There are many feelings and concerns that children experience during separation and divorce. Some common emotions you will see include anger, fear, sadness, confusion, loneliness, and guilt. It helps for parents to think through what information children will need before announcing the divorce. They will have plenty of questions, and there are certain things that they need to hear from both parents. Tell Them Together It is critically important that both parents tell the children about the divorce. This is a critical step in demonstrating a united support system and can help as you work through custody and co-parenting. When parents tell children together about divorce, several things are more likely to happen. First, there will be less focus on a “bad person” or one of the parents being seen as “at fault,” so your child is less likely to feel pressure to take sides. Secondly, your children will see you demonstrating your ability to cooperate. Finally, approaching this discussion together will help your child adjust more readily to the situation. Begin With Love Once both of you are ready to have the discussion, prepare by using the strength of love. Let your children know that they are loved and will continue to be loved deeply by both parents. Though the marriage has ended, the family continues, just in a different structure. Assure them that they will be able to continue to love both parents equally and the same as before. Give Them Perspective Next, offer them perspective on the situation. They should know that the decision to divorce was carefully thought out and that significant effort went into trying to make the marriage work. While your feelings for one another have changed, the special bonds between you as parent and child have not. Let them know that specifics and logistics will be carefully considered and communicated to them throughout the process. Answer Their Questions Finally, be prepared to address their curiosity. They are going to have questions. Lots of questions. They just may not be ready to ask you right away. Where will we live? With whom? How will this affect school? What do I say to my friends? Be prepared to address all of the questions they have. Tell them the complex feelings they have are okay. The ages of your children will significantly impact how they react to the news of your divorce and will require nuanced responses. Below you will find some age-appropriate responses to some common issues. Infants (0-18 Months) Your infants may be too young to understand what is happening, but it is still essential to be prepared to address any issues that may arise with your youngest children. Infants may experience changes in sleeping patterns, changes in eating habits, and difficulty when separating from mom or dad. Help them with these reactions by maintaining consistency in their care, environment, and routines. Whenever possible, build gradually towards any change in people they see regularly or shifts in their routines. Try never to fight in front of them and avoid displays of anger or emotional outbursts. Divorce is one of many Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) that can long term effects on your child’s mental well-being. You know affection is critical to your baby’s development at this stage of their life, so make sure to continue providing plenty of physical attention and lots and lots of hugs. Want to learn more about what to expect from your baby and how to help them through your divorce? Click here to download some facts and tips from our experts. Toddlers (18 Months-3 Years) While toddlers may still be too young to really understand the deep emotions surrounding what is happening, they will be old enough to recognize a big change in their lives and will have big emotions to match. Toddlers may regress in sleeping, potty training, and eating. They may also become more clingy and attached to adults in their lives and security items like blankets or pacifiers. Address these reactions head-on with love. Make sure both of you are saying “I love you” to your child regularly. As with your younger children, consistency in routine and care is important as well. Want to learn more about what to expect from your toddler and how to help them through your divorce? Click here to download some facts and tips from our experts. Preschoolers (3-5 Years) The older your children are at the time of your divorce can increase the intensity of the emotional and behavioral reactions they are likely to have. Preschoolers who are just getting used to routines may demonstrate clingy behavior, especially during transition times to a caregiver, preschool, or going back and forth between mom and dad’s homes. They may show regression in developmental behaviors such as eating, sleeping, and talking. Some revert back to bedwetting. Kids at this age may also have a fear of abandonment or doubt that they are loved. Make sure that both parents reassure them that they are indeed loved! Provide affection and verbal reassurance. You can never say “I love you” too often. Try to

Spongebob Meme that says "Waking your kid up after daylight savings time" with Spongebob squinting angrily
Parenting Tips, Parents, Strengths

You Can Survive Daylight Savings Time!

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You Can Survive Daylight Savings Time! Daylight. Savings. Time. In the fall, it’s great! Fall back! An extra hour to sleep in, yay! Springing forward? LOSING an hour of sleep? Not so much. For parents, it can be a minor annoyance, nothing an extra cup or three of coffee can’t handle, but for your kids, it may be a different story. Daylight savings can really impact your children’s sleep routine. Their little internal clocks become accustomed to their routines and any change, especially one as disruptive that impacts an hour of sleep, can be challenging. This year try shifting their bedtimes by 10-15 minutes, 1-2 weeks ahead of the time change to help them adjust. Preparation is key in a successful time change transition, but most parents sometimes forget about it, are surprised by it, and then have to deal with the consequences. The consequences may include: Fatigue (obviously!) Moodiness (beware of those teenage mood swings) Increased (in frequency and intensity) tantrums and meltdowns (great news for your toddler) Tardiness (you don’t want to walk in late for church, miss the best table at brunch or gasp! be late for school on Monday!) If your child does seem more tired, is running late to everything, or seems more irritated with you than normal, lean into your strengths of perspective and forgiveness. Recognize and acknowledge that they are feeling the effects of the time change and that their bodies and minds will catch up eventually. Encourage them to use perseverance to get used to that change. Encourage them to use that extra hour of daylight to go outside and play. Remember this can be really hard on kids, which means it will be hard on you too mom and dad! But with a little preparation and using your family’s strengths, you’re sure to find good use of all that “extra” time.

Photo of a young man with a cloud of vape smoke covering his face
Parenting Tips, Parents, Uncategorized, Vaping

Vaping: Facts, Fiction, and Valuable Information for Parents

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“Not my kid.” “I would know.”  “We don’t allow smoking in the house.” Not a Fad You may have thought vaping was a fading fad, one that had not affected your family. Fact: A recent survey of nearly 44,000 students in the United States indicated a dramatic rise in the use of e-cigarettes. In 2018, 37% of 12th graders surveyed reported vaping, up from 28% the previous year. This rise in usage of e-cigarettes shows that not only is vaping not a fad, but it’s a problem that may be getting worse. So, what can you do about it? First, arm yourself with the facts.  Fact: Any usage of e-cigarettes is unsafe for persons of any age Fact: E-cigarettes may contain nicotine, a highly addictive chemical that can impact brain development in kids Fact: People who use e-cigarettes may be more likely to become cigarette smokers later A Dangerous Habit Your children, especially your teenagers, and pre-teens, may think they are invincible. Fiction: Vape juice or e-juice is just harmless “water vapor” and vaping is not as harmful as smoking cigarettes. The truth, these “juices” may contain nicotine, chemical-based flavorings, and other harmful substances. Your kids may think these substances are safe due to marketing, fun-sounding flavors, and other misconceptions. They are also very prone to peer pressure. They may even think the billows of smoke exhaled by some e-cigarettes look “cool”. Whatever the motive, kids can be attracted to this type of behavior especially if their friends are doing it.   Fiction: Vape juice is just harmful water vapor Fiction: Vaping is not harmful like smoking cigarettes Fiction: Vaping tools cannot be used to inhale marijuana   E-cigarettes or vaping pods can vary greatly in size, shape, and design. Some may look like traditional cigarettes, many look like marijuana pipes, but the most popular designs, including those from manufacturers like JUUL, look like normal everyday devices your kids have in their backpacks every day such as pens, highlighters or USB sticks. Parents, teachers, and other adults may not even notice these items, even if hidden in plain sight.  Talk To Your Kids Now, before you rummage through your kids’ room, emptying out their backpacks, and going through their drawers to inspect every pen, USB stick and other electronics you may find. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There are some things to try first to prevent your child from trying vaping.  Be Intentional Start by being clear and intentional with your family’s values. If your children know that smoking, vaping, or drug use is an unacceptable behavior and that it is harmful to their health and development they may be less likely to try it. Let them know you love them, are concerned with their well-being and arm them with the facts above. Parenting purposefully with an intentional approach not only lets your child know what is important to your family but why those values are important for their well-being.  Focus on Their Strengths Next, be aware of their strengths and have open, honest conversations with them. For example, if you see someone vaping, lean into their strength of curiosity. They may have questions about the behavior and may even think it looks cool. Letting them ask questions they may have about any topic will help you understand what they know and don’t know about it and provide you powerful insight into their perspective on the behavior.  Let them use their strength of judgment to examine everything they know about vaping. They may have heard that vaping helps people quit smoking. While this may be the case for some users, make sure they understand that vape juice may contain the exact same harmful substances and cigarettes. They may conclude that swapping one bad behavior for another isn’t for them.  While you’re focused on their strengths, this is a great opportunity to build their strengths of bravery, social intelligence, and leadership, by having a frank discussion about peer pressure. They may feel pressure from friends to try vaping, smoking, or to engage in other dangerous behaviors. It can be difficult for kids to say no to their friends for fear of being ridiculed and left out. The good news is, by teaching them to be brave, empowering them to navigate a variety of social situations, an encouraging them to be leaders, you are building in them resilience that can help them stand up to peer pressure. “No, thank you. Vaping isn’t for me. That’s just as bad as smoking you know? Let’s play Fortnite instead.”  Be Mindful Finally, make sure you are parenting mindfully, being present, fully engaged, and accepting in the moment. In today’s busy world it can be difficult to really take the time to be with your children, but it’s so important. When you are actively listening to your children and involved in their lives you reduce the likelihood of them turning to destructive behaviors such as vaping.  Citations and Resources https://beechacres.org/natural-strength-parenting/ https://www.stepupanderson.org https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/basic_information/e-cigarettes/Quick-Facts-on-the-Risks-of-E-cigarettes-for-Kids-Teens-and-Young-Adults.html https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2019/02/vaping-rises-among-teens https://www.prevention-first.org

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