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Parenting Tips

Parent Connext™, Parenting, Parenting Tips

But I’M BORED!

“BUT I’M SO BORED! I have nothing to do!” Here’s what you can do when you hear that dreaded statement… Invariably your children are going to get bored. Boredom can strike at any time and anywhere. It’s not even August yet, and your kids may be coming to you to let you know they have “nothing to do.” This can happen despite the ready availability of toys, video games, smartphones, and all of outside. Do you feel like a cruise ship director for your children and family? Do you constantly feel like you have to fill their time with activities and fun? It is exhausting trying to entertain our kids, but the good news is… you DON’T have to. Lean In To Their Strength Of Creativity Kids learn about creativity and imagination through boredom! It may be painful at first hearing the whines about how bored your child is, or how there is absolutely nothing to do (in a house full of things to do). If you can step into the discomfort as a parent and avoid the need to fix, it can allow your child’s strength of creativity to shine. First, empathize with their boredom, “You are sooo bored and have no idea what to do! It’s hard not having any plans.”  Next, step out of being the cruise director and encourage your child to take the lead, “Sounds like you want me to find something for you to do, but I’m confident you can figure out something that you are interested in”, “I’m happy to provide options of things to do, but I know you can use your strength of creativity to figure something out.” If they keep coming to you, then you can provide choices, “You can play Legos or help me clean the kitchen?”  Boredom doens’t have to ruin their summer, or yours. Focus on their stregths, take a breath, and if you need more help schedule a coaching session with one of our parenting experts.

Parenting, Parenting Tips

Summer Slump? Now What?

Your child has been out of school for about a month, and you might feel the summer slump creeping in. You are exhausted by juggling work and your kids being home, which can create considerable family challenges. This month we’re exploring how to navigate this part of the summer while also working on caring for yourself and building essential skills for your child(ren). Do A Mid-Summer Family Check In Have a family meeting to discuss how things are going for you as parents and your child(ren)? Are your expectations in alignment? For example, you may want to see if you are being realistic about bedtimes or what you can accomplish. Recognize the challenges you’re facing while trying to juggle working (sometimes from home) and lack of childcare. It is ok to ask for help. Do a childcare swap with a neighbor or friend, or get a younger child to be a parent helper. Be open to hiring someone to do certain tasks, like cleaning. Remember that your time is valuable, so paying someone can free up time to spend with your family or care for yourself. Be open to different schedules, including sleep, work, playtime, etc. Look back at the summer bucket list you created at the beginning of the summer. What items can you check off? Do you see any ideas of things to do with the remainder of the summer? Learn Important Life Skills Summer can be a great time to learn life skills not taught in school, like cooking, cleaning, or laundry. Pick a skill you want your child to learn or improve upon. It is essential for children to learn responsibility and accountability. Laundry Toddlers can help sort socks, then learn to put away their clothes. Older children can help fold and put away clothes and even start learning how to wash the towels and sheets. Teenagers can then start learning how to do their own laundry. Shopping Include your toddler in making a shopping list and dinner menu. Let them be a part of the cooking process, like measuring and pouring in. Work up towards learning how to cook an entire meal by the time they are in middle school or high school. Chores Younger kids love being helpful, so start involving them in chores early. For older kids, try to avoid rescuing when they don’t do their assigned chores. For example, if they haven’t done the dishes yet, let them pile up, and now they have more dishes to do. This is a natural life consequence that is important to learn early. You can start giving an allowance around preschool; the recommendation is half their age per week.o If you have a 4-yo, they would get $2 a week. Start by teaching about different buckets based on your values.  For example, you can have a spend jar, save jar, and share jar. When your child asks to buy something, you can help them assess if they have enough money to spend and if the item is important enough to move from saving to spending. Sharing money can be anything from buying gifts for others to donating to worthy causes your child is interested in. For example, if they love animals, take them shopping for animal supplies to donate to an animal shelter. Practice Self Care Remind yourself that Self-care is NOT Selfish. If you, as the parent, are not taking care of yourself, it is hard to take care of your child(ren). As they say on an airplane, put your oxygen mask on first. Have Fun! What do you remember the most about your own childhood summers? Probably something FUN? A trip to the beach or a favorite amusement park? Lazy days at the pool? Rainy days spend playing board games, listening to the radio, or watching MTV? Maybe you worked all summer and learned responsibility and resilience while making money and friends? Even if you’re busy working all summer, you can still find time to have fun with the kids. Plan a day at the park, choose a favorite ice cream shop or restaurant for a fun dinner or dessert. No budget? Dust off those old board games, records, or movies. Make a playlist of your favorite songs and listen to them together on a car ride or while making s’mores in the backyard. Remember those chores from above? Cook a fun summery meal together. Finally, your kids are going to get bored. And that’s ok. Boredom can help breed imagination and develop their strength of Creativity. If you hear the dreaded “but mom, I’m BORED!” it’s ok to set a boundary and let them work it out on their own. Maybe have a list of chores or activities ready to go to guide them, but boredom is something they are going to have to experience and learn from especially when mom and dad are tired. Summer can be an exciting and exhausting time for your entire family. Use these tips and you just may make it to the holidays! (Don’t worry, we can help there too.)

Intentional, Mindfullness, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Parenting is Tough. We Can Help!

Parenting is Tough! We Can Help! Being a parent is the most important and challenging job you’ll ever do! Natural Strength Parenting™ from Beech Acres Parenting Center can help you navigate these challenging times and help you enjoy parenting your child more. What is Natural Strength Parenting™? Natural Strength Parenting™ is a unique approach to parenting that encourages you to be intentional and mindful while focusing on your child’s innate strengths. Building on their strengths will increase their confidence, self-esteem, and resilience, which can lead to positive well-being. Natural Strength Parenting™ combines intentionality, the 24 character strengths, and the positive psychology of mindfulness into an effective parenting model that can profoundly impact your family. Start By Being Intentional To be intentional is to live a proactive, purposeful life instead of a reactive life on auto-pilot. Here are some simple steps to get started with intentionality: Discover Your Family’s Strengths Did you know everyone has 24 character strengths inside of them? Natural energy comes from using our top 5 – but all are inside! Human reflex is to fix what’s wrong… but brain science has taught us that encouraging your children’s strengths builds the resilience and skills to resist the negative influences surrounding them. Here are some simple steps to get started with strengths: Practice Mindfulness We can only see our child(ren)’s strengths if our minds are open to them and purposely noticing what she/he is doing. Likewise, we can only set a specific intention for the future if we are aware of our current situation. Start with these simple steps to implement mindfulness: Putting It All Together Let’s see how this all works together. Let’s say you’ve set an intention to raise a strong, independent daughter. You can reinforce this intention by making subtle changes in everyday moments. You’re in a hurry to get home after basketball practice. Your default might be to snap, “Get in the car! We’re running late. Instead, you could remember your intention and mindfully engage. You might recall that she was afraid to try out for the team. “You used your strength of bravery when you tried out for the team.” Ask a powerful question in the moment: “What new thing did you learn today that will help you be a better player? I want to hear about it on the way home, but we’ve got to gobecause we’re running late today.” See how a small change can make a big difference? That’s Natural Strength Parenting™ at work.

What's On Your Plate? graphic with an image of a plate on a blue tablecloth
Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips

What’s On Your Plate?

Parents Are Busy Parents lie you are busy. Really busy. Sometimes it can be difficult to be intentional about your parenting. The “What’s on Your Plate?” activity provides a visual way to conceptualize all of the things that fill up your life and helps you find ways to be more intentional about the things you want to fill up your life. Download the activity here and get started today. How To Use This Activity Use the front of the plate to show all the things that fill up your life. Then, like a pie, draw slices representing areas of your life. Some “slices” will be bigger and some smaller, depending on how much of your life they fill. Some examples you might choose are below – be sure to add your own.• Fun/personal enjoyment: family fun, time with friends, attending church, hobbies, volunteer activities• Home/family: house chores, parenting, managing family schedules, paying bills• Work: work activities, commute time, training or educational activities Once you’ve finished filling in your plate, take a moment to look at it and reflect on what you see. Ask yourself:• What activities do I want more of? • What activities do I want less of? Flip It Over Now use this side of the plate to show the things and people that support you in your life. Consider the areas of life you have listed on the front side. Who or what supports that area of your plate? How do you take care of yourself? Some examples you might choose are below – be sure to add your own:• Time with family or friends• Being outdoors• Playing games• Other hobbies such as puzzles or crafts Now, take one more look at your plate. Ask yourself:• What stood out to you as you completed your plate?• What “slices” of your plate would you like to explore further? • What would happen if you changed your plate? Activities like this can help you prioritize things in your life to help you lead more of the life you envision. Ready to go further with your parenting? Why not schedule a parent coaching session with one of our Parenting Specialists today?

Photo of a woman sitting on a couch looking down as a man hugs their child after telling her about divorce
divorce, Parenting Tips

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce: Working Through Custody Together

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce Divorce involves change…change involves loss…and growth. NEW! Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Divorce, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this FREE text-based course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to talking to your children about divorce and how to keep them informed throughout the process. Working Through Custody Together Divorce brings with it many conflicting feelings for everyone in your family. It is a considerable change for the family, and each person may experience different feelings at different times. Divorce does not have a beginning, middle and end, rather it is a process, and every person will move through the process at their own pace. A significant milestone during any divorce involving children is setting up the custody arrangement. This part of your divorce may involve much change and upheaval for your child as they become accustomed to their new living situation. Any reaction your child has is common and should be expected. Research on the effects of divorce on children has provided useful information about what can help children through the divorce period and avoid the development of long-term problems for children of divorce. Start With The Details Start by being transparent with the details of the custody arrangement. Assure your child that both of you love them very much and that whatever arrangement you have come up with has taken their best interests into consideration. Having a clear plan that minimizes drastic changes to your child’s routine is best. Involve your child when appropriate in the decision-making process. While there may be legal or other circumstances that are outside your or your child’s control, it is important to give them a voice when possible. Rely on your strengths of Love and Prudence when making any custody plans and decisions. The goal should be that your children have a close and nurturing relationship with at least one parent, but preferably both. Let them know that they are loved and that you are being thoughtful about the choices you are making that affect them. Nurture Positive Relationships Giving your child permission to have a free and ongoing relationship with the other parent is essential. Talk positively about the other parent to your child and encourage that relationship. Never put your child in the middle of your conflicts. This will help prevent the development of emotional problems. Remember, you need to learn to solve problems in a manner that protects your kids rather than expose them to the negative emotions or hostility that may exist between you and the other parents. Expedite transitions between homes and minimize negative discussions when dropping them off or picking them up. Modeling appropriate behavior during these transitions will help your child feel more comfortable. Communicate Finally, communicate with the other parent about issues that affect your child’s life. Make a list of the important things to consider regarding custody. These include time arrangements for holidays and special days, schedules for school events, conferences, sports, and other activities, doctor’s appointments and medical decisions, time with grandparents or other friends and extended family members, and other circumstances. Clearly communicate house rules, expectations, and discipline decisions and, whenever possible, keep these consistent between the two homes. Appropriate, timely communication with each other and with your child is key to having successful relationships post-divorce. Understand that these discussions may become emotional. Always be mindful of this and be prepared to take a break. Talk a walk (alone) and focus on your breathing. Remind yourself that these discussions are in the best interests of your children before continuing. More in this series: Telling Your Kids Tips For Co-Parenting

divorce, Parenting Tips, Parents, Parents & Partners Divorcing

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce: Tips For Co-Parenting

NEW! Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Divorce, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this FREE course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to talking to your children about divorce and how to keep them informed throughout the process. Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce Once your divorce is finalized, it is critical to be on the same page with the other parent about raising and loving your children. Accept that, while the marriage is over, you will be parents together forever. The family is not ending; it is being reorganized. Tips For Co-Parenting Maintaining a parental relationship after divorce requires the ability to communicate. A clear co-parenting plan helps establish the boundaries in which you will parent your child together. Build from the ground up. Do not assume old patterns; establish new ones with your child’s best interests in mind. Clarify the expectations of the new relationship. Be intentional about how you behave with your former spouse. They are now your business partner in raising your children. Be Intentional Start with a clear plan that keeps your child’s well-being front and center. Make all agreements and arrangements clear. Use written agreements or digital calendars to stay organized. Be clear and complete in your communications. When creating schedules, always include times, places, and various needs (clothes, dinner, etc.). Schedule appointments to talk about your children when they are not present. Having this dedicated time to discuss issues related to raising your children will help keep you on the same page. Raising your child together “on purpose” helps increase stability for you and your child. Be Strong Your mutual concern is the well-being of your children. Establish a partnership that recognizes your reorganized family’s strengths. Lead with love always, but be prepared to flex your strengths of teamwork, judgment, and sometimes forgiveness. Be aware of and appreciate your own strengths as a parent and human being, and recognize the strengths of your co-parent. This allows you to see and grow your child’s natural gifts. Show appreciation for the other parent whenever possible in front of your children. Seeing you express appreciation, no matter how small, contributes to the greater success of the parenting partnership, which puts your children at ease. Be Mindful Being present, fully engaged, and accepting in each moment you spend with your child is so important. You cannot control what happens at the parent’s home beyond trying to establish clear guidelines for your co-parenting plan. Do not focus on or compare households, rather spend your time with your child the best way that you can. Listen to what they have to say and respect their feelings. This will create a loving, caring atmosphere in your home that reminds your child that they are loved and safe. Co-parenting using an intentional, strengths-based, and mindful approach gives you a blueprint for success. Staying on the same page, respecting each other, and being flexible whenever possible creates a strong, unified experience that shows your child that you love them and have their best interests at heart. More in this series: Telling Your Kids Working Through Custody Together

Photo of a woman taking her wedding band off of her finger
divorce, Parenting Tips

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce

Helping Your Children Cope With Divorce NEW! Welcome to Talking to Your Kids About Divorce, brought to you by the team at Beech Acres Parenting Center! In this FREE course, you’ll be given a brief introduction to talking to your children about divorce and how to keep them informed throughout the process. Sometimes, during divorce, we temporarily lose the ability to parent well. Like any other life-changing event, divorce can be dealt with positively and can result in emotional growth. Over the next few weeks, we will share valuable information to help you navigate this difficult time on your parenting journey. The topics we will cover include telling your kids about your divorce, working through custody, and tips for successful co-parenting. Parents, you love your children dearly. These tips will help you continue to show your children that you love them even and especially during this most difficult transition. This series is based on the work of the late Sharon James, a parenting expert who spent 18 years at Beech Acres Parenting Center, helping build stronger families. Sharon helped parents find their own strengths to guide them through their most difficult times, especially through her work with divorced parents, which was her true passion. To sponsor a family for Parent Coaching, make a donation to the Sharon James Parent Coaching Fund. More In This Series  Telling Your Kids Working Through Custody Together Tips For Co-Parenting Additional Resources Layers of divorce FREE download. Our friends at the Cincinnati Public Library put together a reading list featuring books with characters experiencing divorce.  Check out this mindful guide to co-parenting from Custody X Change. 11 Best Moving Companies (2022) from This Old House.

Online Safety, Parenting Tips

Is The App “Gas” Good Fuel For Your Child’s Well-Being?

What Is Gas? Social media apps rise and fall. Remember MySpace? Friendster? Some catch fire quickly and burn hot for a while before fading into obscurity in the vast junkyard of the app store. Others, like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat, seem to develop large followings and retain users. Gas is the latest social media app catching fire in middle schools across the country.  Gas is an app for iOS rated for ages 12+. The app is free but offers in-app purchases. Users join their school on the app, add friends, and answer online polls. Users get “gassed up” and receive “flames” when they are chosen as an answer in the poll. The app store advertises the game with the tag “See who likes you.” The idea is someone could ask something like “who do you have a crush on?” and list the names of their friends on the app. Responses are anonymous, which can reduce the potential for bullying. Ideally, the app is designed around positivity, meaning you’re supposed to feel good when you are chosen and receive flames. Problems may arise if a user has few friends or if they are never selected. Questions may also not be so innocuous.  Is Gas Popular? Gas is currently the number 50 app in the “lifestyle” section of Apple’s App Store. The Android version is still in beta. Professional reviews have focused on the positive aspect of the app, and there have been several news stories about the app. There are nearly 250,000 user reviews of the app, with a 4.6 average rating.  Should I Be Concerned? Social media can connect people wherever they are in the world and disseminate news and information quickly. Early sites focused on college students and young users empowering users to have a space on the internet to be themselves. As smartphone use has exploded, so has social media. It’s estimated that 4.26 BILLION people actively use social media regularly. Many of these apps, like Gas, are either aimed at younger audiences or have features that appeal to younger users. As with any internet-based technology, it is critically important for parents to know what their children are doing on the internet.  What Can I Do? This should be an active conversation, not a passive one. Start by getting curious with your kids about their phone use. You may think they are just on Minecraft, but they may be spending time elsewhere in darker corners of the web. Ask them what apps they use, how they use them, and what friends they connect with. Ask probing questions that encourage dialogue. Encourage them to use their strength of Honesty during these conversations. Be intentional with these conversations and have them where your kids are comfortable – at the dinner table, on the way to a practice or a game, or whenever you can find time to have these important conversations. Research the apps your children are using and make decisions based on that. Gas does offer a safety page with details about the app. Take advantage of built-in parental controls. iOS and Android offer robust parental controls that give parents confidence. These controls can offer as little or as much freedom to your child as you are comfortable with. At the very least, enable the ability for them to have to get permission to install a new app. When the request comes through-THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION! It’s so easy to hit “approve” and wonder (or, more likely, forget) later. Take this chance to ask what the app is, why they want to use it, and who else they know is on the app. Keep the conversation going. Periodically check on their use and see what apps are installed. You may be surprised by what you find. Use your own family’s values to determine what apps are right for your family.  Gas is just the latest app to catch fire with kids. It won’t be the last. As a parent, you can control this by having an open, honest conversation with your children about their smartphone use. Take this opportunity to give your child your own positive “gas.” Pick out one of their strengths and strength and spot them using it. This will help them build their self-confidence; no smartphone needed. 

Photo of a child putting ornaments in a man's beard while the man is wrapped in Christmas lights
Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Parents

Natural Strength Parenting Holiday Survival Guide

Your Family Can Survive the Holidays This Year. Here’s How.  You can already feel the tensions rising at your house. Each day is colder, darker, and shorter than the last. The leaves have just finished falling from the trees, but your son is still wearing cargo shorts to school every day. Your neighbor’s perfect Christmas lights are already up and come on automatically at 6:05 every night while you’re still polishing off the Snickers leftover from Halloween. The holidays are here, and you need already need a break. The holidays are an incredibly stressful time for families. And everyone is affected. Additional holiday-related responsibilities pile on to your already hectic schedule of work, homework, dance classes, basketball games, therapy sessions, teacher conferences, and housework. Now, there’s shopping, baking, holiday parties, and even more to get through. Maybe it wasn’t such a great time to start that side-hustle driving for Lyft. Don’t worry. There’s plenty you can do to survive the holidays. The holidays can be the most stressful time of the year. Still, with a little strength, mindfulness, and intentionality, they can also be one of the most fun, loving, and wondrous times of the year.

Photo of a happy family sharing hot chocolate together in front of a Christmas tree and fireplace
Mindfullness, Natural Strength Parenting™, Parenting Tips, Strengths

Practicing Mindfulness With Your Family During The Holidays Is Important

Practicing mindfulness with your family during the holidays can be difficult, but it is very important! So many parents report feelings of being stressed during this time of year. There are more holiday-related responsibilities, and with shorter days, managing changes in your children’s school schedule, stress are inevitable. To add to the stress, we are SUPPOSED to be joyful, so we push our more negative feelings aside. Here are some parenting tips for a calm and enjoyable Holiday Season: 1) Intentionally slow down to get more done. When we hurry, we become forgetful and resentful. Focus on one thing at a time, and your to-do list will be more manageable, and you will feel more accomplished. 2) Show empathy towards yourself and say ‘no’. It is o.k. to decline an invitation and replace it with alone time to read, go for a walk or take a lavender-infused bath. Self-care is a great value to model to your children. 3) Create traditions that fit your family. If baking cookies from scratch is not something you enjoy and have no time for, create another tradition that is better suited to your family. Perhaps it is watching a holiday movie and making homemade hot cocoa or chocolate-covered popcorn. 4) Delegate chores according to everyone’s strengths. Does your son love to help with cooking? Let him plan and prepare a simple dinner. Is your daughter creative? Have her help with decorating or wrapping presents. 5) Make room for Mindfulness. Create space to do mindful moments with your family. Before a meal, before bedtime, a few moments of mindful breathing can be relaxing and calming.

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